Misdialed
by Elizabeth142
Summary: Alice is determined to find Bella the perfect man but Bella is just not interested at the moment. Trying to cancel a date Alice set up for her she misdials and ends up talking to someone else. Rated 'P' for potty mouth Bella X Edward All human
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

Chapter 1

BPOV

Please don't let me run out of gas, please, please, please. My knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly. The freeway was like a parking lot. It was rush hour and of course I was in the middle lane and the nearest exit was 2 miles away.

Normally that isn't a big deal. I know my truck well. I knew that once the light goes on I still had a least another 20 miles to go before I actually run out of gas. But when _the thing _as my dad named it when he first gave it to me_, _started sputtering I knew I was in trouble.

Fucking Emmett. I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my truck last night. He needed to use it to get the last of his things moved into Rosalie's apartment. You would have thought he could have at least put some gas in it.

Or better yet, you would have thought I would have double checked to see that he did before getting on the freeway. But I woke up late and had a meeting in 20 minutes so needless to say, here I sit with my blinker on trying to at least get into the right lane so if necessary I can pull onto the shoulder.

"Come on." My hands were sweating has I pounded on the steering wheel. It started sputtering again and my heart rate picked up. And then it happened. All of the sudden the normal sound of my thundering engine was gone.

And then to make matters worse not even a minute later traffic started moving. All except the middle lane. The car behind me was honking. I tried to start it again keeping my fingers crossed that it would work.

Yeah, no such luck. I looked around to see that things had slowed down again so at least no one was going over 10 miles an hour. I managed to get the guy behind me to unroll his window. He was less than pleased but he was willing to help if for no other reason than to get my truck off to the side of the road so that he wouldn't be stuck behind me.

He stopped traffic in the right lane allowing me to push my truck across it and on to the shoulder. Of course he hadn't bothered to help me push but I somehow managed it.

So now here I sit…again…. But at least I'm not blocking traffic. I reach for my cell phone only to find that I must have left it at home. Fuck my life. I get out of the truck and started hoofin' it.

Two miles later I come to an exit. Lucky for me there was a gas station pretty close to the exit. Oh wait….. Did I say lucky for me? What I should have said was 'Are you fucking kidding me?'

Apparently this gas station doesn't have any gas cans available. I look around and spotted a sign for Walmart. It couldn't be more than a half a mile or so. I start walking again. My feet are pretty much on fire now but that is the least of my worries.

At least I haven't tripped or fallen so that has to be a plus right? So my 'half a mile or so' theory goes right out the window when I realize I counted 23 blocks before I got there. I buy my gas can, and walk back to the gas station.

I get it filled up but not before spilling all over the outside of the can and start the long walk back to _the thing_. It's very heavy and is now slippery due to the spill. I make my way down the off ramp to find that of course traffic is moving along quickly now.

I reach my truck and have trouble unscrewing the gas cap. My hands are slick and it isn't working. I search for something to wipe them off with but realize I have nothing because Fucking Emmett took everything out of the truck last night so he could fit his stuff in.

I un-tuck my blouse from my skirt and use the ends of it in attempt to get the cap off. After several minutes it works. I put the gas in the tank managing to spill again but this time it got my shoes.

I get it started and pull onto the freeway making it to work over an hour late. My boss is pissed and because I missed the meeting Jessica was in charge of the latest project instead of me. So I'm now in my office, sweating like a pig and smelling like gasoline when Jake walks in.

"Hey Bella." I can't deal with this shit right now.

"Hey Jake, what can I do for you?"

"Oh, uh I just thought that I'd bring you up to date on the meeting this morning." He said smiling brightly.

"Thanks Jake." I guess I should be a little nicer but I was having a bad fucking day.

"So uh how about we go over it at lunch. There is a new restaurant that just opened up down the street."

Not again, not today please… I whined internally. Jake was my dad's best friends son and about six months ago he asked if I could look into getting Jake a job. There was an opening and I put in a good word for him and now….. Well now I can't seem to get rid of him.

"Sorry Jake, I'm meeting Alice for lunch but I have some time now." His disappointment was obvious but its better this way. I didn't want to lead him on and even though he was a nice kid and all I knew better than to invite him to join us for lunch.

Alice was obsessed with finding me the perfect man. This new mission she started came soon after she met her soul mate Jasper Whitlock. They really are perfect together but love was not on my top list of priorities right now.

And no doubt about it, she would interfere and try to set something up with Jake if I gave her the chance. Actually it didn't even have to be Jake, she didn't even know him very well, but I made the mistake of telling her about his…well… obsession with me and she jumped all over the opportunity.

She went so far as to come into my office with the pretense of lunch, only to 'accidentally' track him down and leave him with the knowledge that I was single and available. From that point on I made sure to keep any and all single men away from Alice.

After Jake leaves and I get some actual work done, and soon it's time for lunch. I pull into the parking lot where I'm meeting Alice. (She's not allowed to come to my office anymore.) I find her waiting for me. She takes one look at me and starts cracking up.

"What happened to you?" she asked. I tell her about my day thus far. She's still laughing but has calmed down a little.

"Sounds like you could use a drink tonight Bella." And I have to agree I really could.

"You know what? I really could."

"So where do you want to go?" She asks.

"How about the Thirsty Lion?"

"Great, I'll call Rosalie. We'll pick you up so you don't have to drive."

"Thanks Alice, I really could use a night out." I didn't go out all that much. Not like I used to anyway. We usually just stayed in; the five of us would drink beer and eat pizza at least one night out of the week.

After I got home and showered trying in vain to get all the gasoline smell off I found something decent to wear and finished getting ready. I found my bottle of 'Happy' hoping to mask the evidence of my earlier incident. I probably put too much on. I usually didn't wear much perfume but tonight I had a need to.

We get to the bar. Emmett and Jasper are going to meet us later but for now it was just the three of us. We find a table to sit at and order our first round of drinks. The band that is playing is pretty good. We even dance for a few songs.

It's pretty hot so I get off the dance floor and decide I needed another drink. I head to the bar and wait for the bartender. I'm invisible for the first few minutes but finally I order.

"I'll have a 7 & 7."

"What's in a 7 & 7?" I heard the guy next to me ask. Seriously? It seems pretty obvious but I answer any way.

"It's uh Seagram's 7 and 7up." I turned back to wait for my drink.

"Oh. That sounds pretty good. I'll have one too." He says when the bartender comes back and hands me my drink. I don't say anything and start to walk away. I hear him calling me but I try and disappear into the crowd taking the long way back to the table.

It seemed to work but then about 45 minutes later he finds me again. He walks over to us and takes the open seat next to me. Rosalie and Alice look at him suspiciously.

"7 & 7… there you are." He addresses me. I don't say anything as he continues to stare.

"Her name is Bella." Alice speaks right up. I look over to her quickly trying desperately to indicate that I am in any way interested in this guy but she isn't even looking at me.

"Hello Bella, I'm Mike, wow you smell really good." I smile politely but don't say anything again trying to get the point across that I want nothing more than for him to leave.

"I'm Alice and this is Rosalie."

"Nice to meet you ladies." He said but looks to me again. They make small talk while I'm plotting my 'fake a headache' plan. But my luck might be changing as his friends come over letting him know that it is time to go.

"I'd really like to see you again Bella. Can I get your phone number?" I see that Alice is about to speak up so I get my answer out as quickly as possible.

"I'm sorry Mike but I don't give out my phone number." That earns a glare from Alice and a giggle from Rosalie who by the way has been uncharacteristically quiet tonight. Mike reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card placing it in front of me.

"Well I'm sorry to hear that Bella but here's my card just in case you change your mind." I smile at him and he leaves.

"What's the matter with you?" Alice shrieks.

"He's not my type." I explain.

"Bella, you didn't even give him a chance."

"Alice, if she isn't interested then there's no point." Rosalie comes to my rescue. I smile at her letting her know how grateful I am.

I decide now is the time for a bathroom break and when I get back Emmett and Jasper are at the table.

Surprisingly enough Alice didn't bring up the Mike issue again. I let myself get sucked into a false sense of security thinking Rose actually got through to her.

I stumble a little, well a lot actually when we we're getting out of the car. So Alice decides to help me to the front door. I guess I had more to drink than I realized. I get inside and see I have a message on my machine.

I hit the play button and listen.

"_Hi Bella, its Mike. I was so glad to hear from you. And yes I would love to meet you for dinner this Sunday. How about 6:30 at The Red Fig? I can't wait, see you soon. And my home number is 555-1296."_

What the….. Fucking Alice. I turned to her and she knows how pissed I am. She raises her hands in surrender and starts to back away.

"Bella, I did it for your own good. You need to get out more and he seemed like a nice guy."

"Mary Alice Brandon, you better call him right back and tell him I'm not going. How did you even get his number in the first place?" I asked then I remembered his business card he left on the table that Alice clearly swiped. I stumbled closer to her.

"No Bella, if you want to cancel then the least you could do is call him yourself." She actually tried to convince me that it was my responsibility.

"No Alice it's the least you can do, I'm not the one that made the date with him."

"Just call him; I have a feeling about this one." She said as she backed out onto the porch.

I really don't want to do this, and I'm really not in any condition to talk on the phone. On the other hand maybe that will make it easier. I listened to the message again so I could write down the number, then I picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Um hi, this is Bella, and well I have something I have to say so please just let me get this all out okay? Ok well listen I'm sure you're a nice guy and all. I mean you seemed nice enough but well to be honest I'm just not looking for a relationship right now….Or a uh one night stand either for that matter.

I mean I guess that's what you're looking for right? That's why you gave me your number? And well, we met at a bar so that's usually what happens. I mean I used to go to bars all the time…. not so much anymore.

But I… well….really needed a drink tonight. I had the worst fucking day all thanks to Fucking Emmett. Who by the way never even apologized, not that it was _all_ his fault I mean sure I could have just checked to see how much gas was in my truck but still.

I would have at least put some gas in someone else's car after I borrowed it. Well I guess he did buy me a few shots as kind of an apology so I guess that works. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that…. well like I said I'm sure you're nice and all but I'm just not interested.

I mean I did kind of tell you that before though. And then Fucking Alice didn't help any. I can't believe she would do that to me…. or to you for that matter. I know I know she's '_just trying to help_' but seriously come on. I've told her before, but she just doesn't listen.

Yes she found her 'true love' and all but that doesn't mean she has the right to just tell random guys I want to date them. Who does that anyway? Even Rosalie had enough sense to stay out of it but she may have felt just a little bit guilty for Emmett's part in my earlier mishap.

So I'm sorry. Really I am I hope that you understand I feel pretty bad about the whole thing. I hope we can still be friends…..oh wait I didn't mean that…. Shit that came out wrong. It's just well we weren't friends before so it's not like we'd be missing much. Fuck…. Sorry I'm sure you're a great friend but I don't think that would be a good idea for us, so again I'm sorry I hope I haven't offended you."

Silence….Wow I really need to stop drunk calling people. I think I've just made this worse. Shit. I was about to say something then he spoke.

"So this is all fucking Emmett's fault then?" he sounded amused.

"Yes!...Wait… No, not entirely."

"But he was the one that caused your bad day though right?"

"Yes that was his entire fault…mostly." He chuckled.

"So what exactly did Emmett do? I think you said something about him borrowing your car?"

"Yes, last night he borrowed my truck to finish moving the rest of his stuff to Rosalie's."

"Okay I'm with you so far."

"Well so then, I didn't hear my alarm clock this morning and so I was running late for work and I had an important meeting to get to."

"Uh-huh"

"So traffic's at a stand still I'm in the middle lane and I notice my gas light is on."

"I think I can see where this is going."

"Yeah so I run out, my truck dies a minute before traffic starts moving and then the jackass behind me…..even though he did help stop traffic in the other lane…..didn't even bother to help me push it over to the shoulder."

"Asshole"

"I know!"

"Go on."

"So I have to walk two miles to get to an exit, I get to the top of the off ramp and spot a gas station."

"Okay, so at least your luck started to turn around."

"Yeah, you'd think that wouldn't you, but no. They don't have any gas cans."

"No gas cans at a gas station?"

"That's what I thought too."

"So what did you do then?"

"Well I spotted a Walmart sign and 23 blocks later I get there."

"23 huh?"

"Yep, I counted because I was sure it was closer than that. So anyways getting back to the gas station I fill up my gas can which by the way was pretty freakin' heavy. And walked the two miles back to 'The thing'.

"The thing?"

"Yeah, that's what my dad named my truck."

"Okay."

"I make it back and I couldn't get the gas cap off cause my hands were too slippery."

"You didn't get gas on them by any chance did you?"

"Yeah how'd you know?"

"Lucky guess."

"So I can't find anything to wipe by hands off on so I had to use my blouse, my white blouse to get the cap off."

"Not good."

"So I'm over an hour late for work, miss my meeting and then Jessica gets to be in charge of the project since I missed out."

"Wow you did have a bad day."

"Hence the need for my drinking tonight."

"So where does Alice get in on this bad day of yours?"

"Fucking Alice decides that I need a man in my life and so she tells any man that will listen that I am single and readily available even when I tell her not to."

"So I take it this has happened before?"

"Yes, ever since she met Jasper."

"Jasper? Not F_ucking_ Jasper."

"No, just Jasper, it's impossible to get mad at him. He's so laid back and easy going. The exact opposite of Fucking Alice."

"Okay so she met _Just_ Jasper and she decided it was time for you to get a man of your own?"

"Yeah, I mean her hearts in the right place, she just wants me to be as happy as she and Jasper are and Emmett and Rosalie but she really needs to stop. She even had the nerve to come to my office and encourage Jake even _after_ I warned her of his obsession with me."

"That doesn't sound good."

"I'm glad you see it my way."

"I do." He said and I looked up at the clock.

"Wow, I had no idea it was so late I better get to bed. Thanks for listening Mike and I'm really sorry about everything."

"My name isn't Mike."

"Oh,…..wait, what?"

"My name is Edward, not Mike."

"Oh, are you one of his friends? Were you at the bar?"

"No on both accounts."

"So why did you answer Mike's phone?"

"This is my phone, not Mike's."

"Shit, this isn't…. 555-1296?"

"Nope, this is 555-1269."

"Fuuuuuck."

"So are you going to call Mike now?" He asked while laughing.

"Damn it. Yeah I guess so. I hope he's as understanding as you."

"I hope so too."

"Well, sorry I bothered you Edward."

"No bother at all."

"Well um, bye."

"Goodnight Bella."

What the hell just happened? I hung up and dialed Mike this time. It rang once before he answered.

"Did you actually mean to call me or were you just trying to get a hold of Mike again?"

"Shit, I'm so sorry Edward. I think I must be dyslexic or something. Maybe it's better if I just go to bed. I won't try Mike again until tomorrow that way I can let you get some sleep." He laughed again.

"It's okay Bella, really I don't mind."

"Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight Bella… I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"What?"

"You know, when you try and call Mike again." He said chuckling

"Ha ha." I said as I laid down in bed and fell asleep immediately.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

Chapter 2

BPOV

What was that saying? Something about beer before liquor or was it liquor before beer? One of which is the wrong order to drink and I definitely picked the wrong order because my head is about to explode.

I wonder if that is actually true. How can it be? It doesn't make a lot of sense I mean it all ends up in the same place right? That was something my mom used to tell me when I refused to eat parts of my dinner if any of the food touched that wasn't suppose to.

But I guess the same logic applies. It just matters. I opened my eyes to see what time it was. I knew I went to bed a little after 2am. It's now 5:15am. Why the hell am I awake? I wanted to get up and take something for my head but that meant actually having to move.

I sit up a little only to feel dizzy but I know that if I don't take something now it will only be 100 times worse when I wake up again. So I crawl to the bathroom. Yes literally crawl because I'm afraid if I move too quickly I might throw up.

I find the Advil and take 4. Yes I'm aware that the directions say to only take 2 but clearly whoever decided that rule never had a headache like this. I take my Advil and a drink of water.

I crawl back to bed and lay there. I'm trying to concentrate on my breathing so I can keep my mind off of the pain. Why am I not falling asleep? I lay there for forever. Finally the pain starts to go away and so does the nausea.

The last time I looked at the clock it said 7:37am and then I must have fallen asleep. I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. I was feeling better but after checking the caller id and seeing it was Alice I decided to ignore it. I was still mad at her for telling Mike I wanted to go out with him. Then it all came back to me. I still needed to deal with Mike. This wasn't going to be as easy without alcohol and I briefly wondered if I should have a drink first.

Just wanting to get this over with I picked up the phone. Carefully dialing as to not call Edward again. Though I did consider it for a second he seemed pretty fun to talk to. But then again that could have just been because of the enormous amount I had to drink.

"Hello?"

"Mike?" I just wanted to be sure.

"Yeah, is this Bella?"

"Yeah it is, um listen Mike." But he interrupted me.

"Great how about dinner tonight instead of tomorrow?"

"I don't think…"

"I decided I would try my hand at cooking, girls like that kind of shit right?"

"Mike, listen I need to tell you."

"I hope you aren't allergic to anything. You're not are you?"

"No but Mike, listen. I'm sorry but."

"Good. I was thinking of making pasta, you like pasta right?"

"Mike, I'm sorry but this isn't going to work." I finally got out without him interrupting me. And he laughed. He fucking laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You can stop with the 'playing hard to get act'."

"What?"

"You heard me, I know you want me Bella otherwise you wouldn't have called."

"Look Mike, that wasn't me, it was my friend Alice. I'm sorry but there's been a misunderstanding."

"What do you mean a misunderstanding?" The once cocky attitude Mike had was replaced with a quiet dejected voice.

"I'm really sorry but my friend Alice pretended to be me because she thought it would be a good idea for us to go out."

"That was a really shitty thing to do." _Don't I know it_.

"It was and I'm really sorry, believe me I feel really bad about this."

"Bad enough to change your mind and go out with me anyway?" His tone was more upbeat and I think he was joking but I wasn't going to chance it.

"I uh think it would be better if we um…"

"Don't worry Bella, I was just kidding."

"Right."

"Well, I better get going and uh tell your friend Alice that she should really mind her own business next time."

"I will."

"Bye Bella."

"Bye Mike and I really are sorry."

Deciding that maybe a bath would relax me a bit as my headache had returned, I filled up the tub. I got my bath pillow out and poured in my favorite smelling bath salts. I should have known that I would fall asleep. I kept dreaming that I was stuck in a refrigerator and I woke up freezing. The water had turned cold and I was all shriveled up. I got out and looked in the mirror and my lips were actually purple.

Getting my pajamas back on I decided on making something to eat. Opening up a box of macaroni and cheese, I poured the noodles into the boiling water when my phone rang. I turned the heat down a little and answered the phone.

"So did you talk to Mike yet?"

"Yes Alice I did."

"And?"

"And I told him I didn't want to go out with him."

"Why would you do that Bella?"

"You know why, I already told you. I'm not interested."

"Fine, how'd he take it?" I almost said something about it not going as well as it did with Edward but I knew better than that.

"He's was disappointed but more pissed off at you than anything."

"Okay, I'm sorry Bella I shouldn't have done that but I really had a good feeling about this one. Are you sure he was that bad? I mean maybe you could at least invite him to Angela's wedding."

"Alice seriously if I wanted to date I could find a guy on my own, not to mention Angela's wedding is over a month away."

"I know but it's really not _that_ far off, and I just don't want you to be upset."

"Why would I be upset?"

"You know going to a wedding alone especially after what happened, and besides I kind of already told Angela you were bringing someone." She said in a rush.

"Alice you seriously need to stop this, I really can't take much more. And you need to call her back and tell her I'm not bringing a date." Not that I haven't thought about it. It really would be nice to have someone to go with but there was no way I was going to tell her that.

"Well it's sort of too late for that; she needed a head count last week and the food as been ordered. But don't worry I'm sure we'll have someone for you by then."

"Alice I have to go." and I hung up. I was pissed that she wasn't going to let this go and then I remembered my noodles on the stove.

Crap. There was barely any water left in the pan and most of the noodles were overcooked and stuck to the bottom. Great. I poured the rest of the water out and mixed the cheese in. I sat down on the couch and ate my dinner which by the way tasted like shit because half of it was burnt.

I decided on just going to bed early because this day wasn't turning out much better than yesterday. I climbed in and turned the TV on. I wasn't much of a TV watcher so I didn't have any shows that were 'must watches.'

I flipped through the channels and found an episode of Friends that was on. Of course….it was the same fucking episode that I watched two days ago.

I turned the TV off and was going to grab by book but realized it was in the other room. I got up and found it on the coffee table as the phone rang again and in my haste to answer it I stubbed my toe. Fuck that hurt.

"Hello?"

"Hello Bella." Somehow I was able to recognize the voice. I'm not really sure how considering the high levels of alcohol that I had consumed last night.

"Edward?"

"You remembered."

"Why would you think I wouldn't have remembered?"

"Well, you did seem pretty intoxicated."

"Good point."

"Soooooo."

"So?"

"So did you get your dyslexia under control and call Mike?"

"Smartass."

"Dyslexia was your word, not mine."

"Yet you used it anyway."

"Sorry I couldn't help myself."

"That's okay I think I can forgive you."

"That's good; besides, I'd take smartass over 'Fucking Edward' any day."

"Well I reserve the right to rename you anytime I see fit."

"So in other words I better be on my best behavior?"

"Only if you want to steer clear of the 'Fucking Edward' title.

"Alright…..though it might not be as bad as it seems."

"And how did you figure that exactly?"

"Well, it just seems like Fucking Emmett and Fucking Alice must be pretty important people in your life if they can get away with the things they do and you still obviously care a lot about them."

"True, but as much as I love them both, I love Just Jasper and Rosalie too yet they don't feel the need to misbehave."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"So is there a reason why you called or did you just feel the need to torment me more than I already have been?"

"Well I hadn't heard from you yet so I thought I would save you the embarrassment of accidentally calling me again."

"Well for your information I managed to dial Mike's number correctly today so you wouldn't have heard from me."

"I can't believe you would keep me in suspense that way! I've been dying to know how it all turned out."

"So it was only your curiosity that compelled you to call?"

"That and I wanted to save you from further embarrassment, remember?"

"Ah yes."

"So how did Mike take the news?"

"Okay I guess but I felt pretty guilty by the end of the conversation."

"That's too bad, so I take it your day didn't start off well then."

"Nope and then Fucking Alice didn't make it any better."

"She hasn't set you up again has she?"

"Not yet but give her time."

"So this is a priority for her then?"

"Yes and it's about it get even more intense over the next month I'm afraid."

"And why is that?"

"Well our friend Angela is getting married and Alice just informed me that she told her I had a date."

"I see, and it's too late to change that I take it?"

"Yep, the food has been ordered and the seating arrangement is being made."

"So how has the rest of your day gone?" he asked and I was a little surprised at his sudden change of topic. But then again I was surprised to even be talking to him at all. Why did he call again? And how did he get my number? Ah yes the joys of caller id.

"I fell asleep in the bath and had purple lips by the time I got out because the water had turned so cold. I burnt my dinner and stubbed my toe." He laughed. I think it was a full 2 minutes before he stopped.

"You find that funny do you?"

"I'm sorry but yes." And he started laughing again.

"You're getting closer and closer to being renamed Fucking Edward."

"Sorry." He said but I could still hear his muffled snickers.

"Uh- huh."

"No really, I'm sorry. I'm sure you have enough to deal with especially with Fucking Alice."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, but seriously is she really going to be trying to set you up with random men?"

"Yes." I said and I could hear him let out a heavy sigh.

"She does realize that could be dangerous right? I mean does she know these guys or are they all complete strangers."

"Both."

"I don't think you should be meeting with these guys Bella." he said suddenly very serious.

"Don't worry I won't." I said thinking that sometimes I have no choice as Alice sometimes ambushes me. He must have heard the hesitation in my voice.

"Promise me that you won't."

"I promise to do my best. I won't knowingly meet anyone alone."

"She doesn't set you up to meet these guys alone does she?" he said rather loudly and very alarmed.

"No, at least she's not that crazy. If I have to meet them in person it's _usually_ someone that she knows and she makes sure that she and Jasper are there too. Or she'll just give out my phone number like she did at the bar with Mike."

"I see."

"At least we don't go to bars much so that isn't a regular thing."

"Only when you have a bad day." He said it as a statement.

"Yes."

"Well today didn't seem to be a good one for you, does that mean you're going out again tonight?"

"No, I opted for going to bed early instead. Not to mention today's events aren't that far off from normal for me."

"You must lead an interesting life then Bella."

"Well it's never dull."

"I'm beginning to see that."

"How about you Edward? What's a day like in your life?"

"I'm afraid I would bore you with the details."

"That bad huh?"

"Pretty much but at least things have gotten considerably better recently."

"Oh? And what happened to change your normally boring life?"

"I got a strange call in the middle of the night from a drunk girl trying to call someone else…..twice."

"I'm glad I can be a source of entertainment for you then."

"Me too, well I'll let you get some sleep then Bella, since I interrupted your going to bed early."

"Okay, well goodnight Edward." I said suddenly unsure of what else to say.

"Goodnight Bella."

I tried to concentrate on reading but it didn't work. My mind kept returning to my conversation with Edward. It didn't escape my notice that he avoided my question. It was kind of weird. First he calls me but then he seemed a little nervous when I asked him to give something other than a vague answer.

If he was uncomfortable giving out that sort of information why did he bother to call me back in the first place? I wondered what he looks like or if his life really is as boring as he thinks it is. Maybe he is married or something or maybe he just didn't want to share any details about himself to a stranger. He was smarter than I was that's for sure.

If I had to guess I would say he is around my age at least that's how he sounded and if he were really married he wouldn't have called me back today right?

Or maybe I _am_ strictly a form of entertainment for him. Duh... what else would I be? We've never even met. I wonder if I'll ever hear from him again.

Sunday went by quickly. I didn't do a lot until the afternoon when Rosalie called and invited to go shopping with her. Of course Alice was there too but at least she was being good and didn't bring up the wedding or dating at all.

I think she knew I was extremely pissed off and was trying to make it up to me. We ended up eating dinner out and I got home around 7:00pm. I did some cleaning around the house and watched TV, staying up much later than I normally would have.

I realized with a sudden disappointment that I was waiting for a call that never came... Fucking Edward.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Work sucked this week. In fact I was just in a bad mood all around. Jessica was practically gloating every time she happened to come into my office, which suddenly she found every reason possible to.

I knew she was just trying to rub it in my face but even that couldn't account for the foul mood I've been in the last couple of days. Thursday was a long day. Alice called to remind me that we switched beer and pizza night to tonight since she and Jasper were leaving tomorrow for a long weekend.

I knew it was my week so I went out and got the beer and some movies to watch just in case. Usually we played cards or something but every so often we'd watch a movie afterward.

I had the beer in the fridge and the pizza ordered when everyone arrived. And surprise surprise there was an addition to the group for the evening.

"I hope you don't mind Bella but Jasper's new colleague started this week. He transferred out from Nebraska and doesn't really know anyone. I hope its okay that he came over."

"Of course I don't mind. Come on in. It's nice to meet you, I'm Bella." What else could I say with him standing right there? '_I'm on to you Alice and yes I do mind?_' No, I would be nice to the new guy and kick Alice's ass later.

"I'm Eric and thank you for allowing me to partake in your group gathering." Did he really just say that?

"No problem."

"I didn't want to show up empty handed so I brought some chicken wings. I made them myself." He said holding out a rather large tray. I took then and set them down on the dinning room table and soon afterwards the pizza was here.

We all ate, though I noticed his chicken wings were not getting eaten which was a surprise with Emmett here so instead of letting Eric feel bad I ate my fair share. They weren't really that good and tasted a little off but one thing Charlie and Renee drilled into my head was manners so I ate most of what I had taken on my plate and secretly dumped the rest.

I had a few more beers than normal as Alice began her not so discreet plans of pairing me up with Eric. Everyone left somewhat early since we all worked the next day so I was in bed by 11:00. That night I dreamt that I was being chased through town by a giant red chicken only to wake up at 4:00am puking my guts out.

I briefly wondered what I must have done in another life to get this karma. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be in today.

About noon I felt well enough to at least get out of bed and move to the couch. I thought about making myself some soup but quickly disregarded the idea when I saw that I only had chicken noodle.

I turned on what used to be my favorite soap opera. I hadn't watched it in years but I thought why not until I realized that the plot was almost identical to what was going on 5 years ago. I was bored so I decided to call Rosalie to see if anyone else had succumbed to the mysterious illness.

"Hey Rose, are you at work?" I asked since I called her cell phone.

"Yeah, aren't you?" she asked.

"No, I'm home. I spent all night throwing up tainted chicken." And she started laughing.

"I'm sorry Bell, I swear I don't mean to laugh but didn't you realize that it tasted off? I mean even Emmett knew."

"I was trying to be polite."

"Well there's a difference between trying to be polite and self sacrifice." She chuckled.

"I didn't realize it was _bad_, I just thought it didn't taste good."

"Do you want me to bring you anything? I can stop by after work."

"No I think I'll be fine but thanks anyway." We talked for a while longer before I took a nap. I heard someone knocking on my door and thought maybe Rose had come by anyway.

"Feeling any better?" Emmett asked.

"Somewhat, come on in." I said.

"I won't stay long, but Rose had to stay late and wanted me to bring this by." I took the bag and pulled out some soda crackers and 7up.

"Thanks."

"That was from Rose but this is from me." He pulled out a stuffed animal from another bag. It was a bright orange chicken with a collar around its neck. The collar obviously didn't belong and I could see that he bought that separately and added the name Eric to the nametag.

"Thanks Em." I said laughing. It actually was funny now that I wasn't so sick anymore. He stood up and kissed my forehead before leaving. I went back to bed after displaying Eric proudly on my dresser.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

Chapter 3

BPOV

By Saturday morning I felt better physically at least. Fucking Eric and his tainted meat. Alice and Jasper had left yesterday right after work. Apparently it was time for Jasper to meet the family and Rose and Emmett were celebrating some sort of anniversary.

So here I was feeling sorry for myself. It didn't happen often but sometimes when I was reminded how I was the fifth wheel to two perfectly matched couples I would get a little depressed. Especially as of late with Alice being on the 'find Bella a boyfriend' mission that was failing miserably.

It was grocery shopping day. I knew better but yet I found myself skipping my shower still wearing my too big t-shirt and holey sweatpants. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and didn't bother putting on any make up.

What was it about Murphy's Law again? I was quickly reminded when I saw my ex fiancée Tyler with his new and very pregnant wife Lauren.

I quickly turned my cart around when I realized it was them. They were walking in the opposite direction so they didn't spot me. I dashed down another aisle and tried to stay hidden. I peered around corners to make sure they weren't there.

Of course I got one of those carts with the squeaky wheel that veered to one side. When I looked over my shoulder to make sure they weren't coming and I accidently slammed my cart into the display knocking everything to the ground.

I thought about leaving it and making a run for it but as people walked by they knew I was the one to do it so I started picking everything up. Trying to hurry and just get out of there I heard my name being called.

"Bella?" I heard from behind me. I slowly turned around to see Tyler with his arm around his wife. The same woman I had caught him cheating on me with 1 month after he proposed.

"Tyler, Lauren." I forced myself to smile.

"You're looking…..How have you been?" I would have said something about that comment but I knew exactly how I looked.

"Great and you?"

"We're due in three weeks. We're both very excited."

"I'm sure you are."

"So how is….oh what was his name?" Lauren asked pausing to look at Tyler.

"Oh honey, you know that Bella isn't seeing anyone." he said.

"That's right Jessica did tell us that just the other day." Lauren said. Wasn't it me that was allowed to be the bitchy one? She got the guy so I deserved something right? I didn't say anything; I just wanted to go so I turned around to leave.

"Have a good day Bella, I'm sure we'll be seeing you at Angela's wedding." Fucking great.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I'm not one to drink alone but I figured this was a special occasion. I poured myself a drink but then I realized I it would probably be a good idea to do any cooking while sober.

I finished the tacos had my first drink. Even though I knew better I put on my 'love songs' CD. The one that Tyler made for me. Yeah I kept it just because I happen to really like all the songs on it.

After a couple of hours of feeling sorry for myself I started getting mad. This was the normal pattern for a night like this one. I remembered all the shitty things he did and reminded myself why I'm better off without a man.

I want to talk to someone but both Alice and Rosalie are busy tonight, not that I needed to give Alice any more ammunition than she already had but I wasn't exactly thinking clearly right now either. I called Angela but she's not home.

What I really wanted to do was call Tyler and tell him off for what he put me through. Fortunately for me I made sure I deleted his number so I wouldn't make the mistake of drunk dialing him _again_. But unfortunately for me I knew his number by heart because he never had changed it. So I did the only thing I could think of.

"Hello?"

"Hello."

"Bella?"

"You remembered."

"I don't think I could forget you."

"I would have to disagree." I slurred. Even I could tell that I had.

"You would?"

"Yes, clearly you have. I haven't heard from you all week." I laughed I was teasing him but then I realized how needy that sounded. I really should lock my phone up somewhere before I drink next time.

"You're right and I apologize but I've been really busy."

"Ahhh the old 'I've been busy' line."

"No really, I have been. I've had to." And I cut him off.

"It's okay, no need to explain. I was just kidding; you don't owe me any explanations."

"So I might not owe you anything but I would like to explain. Believe it or not I had every intention of calling you back."

"Sure sure."

"Why would I lie? How else am I supposed to be entertained while I have nothing else to do but work nonstop?"

"Nonstop? That doesn't sound like much fun."

"It's not trust me. But it's just another day in the life of Edward Cullen."

"Edward Cullen huh?"

"Yep Edward Cullen. So are you going to tell me your last name?"

"You're not some psycho are you?"

"No, but do you really think I would tell you if I were?"

"That's not really helping your case any."

"Probably not but I can assure you I'm definitely not a psycho and this is our fourth conversation after all."

"You've been keeping track?"

"I told you that I hadn't forgotten you."

"Hmmm, okay if you really want to know, I'll tell you."

"It's _one_ of the things I really want to know."

"Okay Edward Cullen, my name is Bella Swan. What else did you want to know?"

"Why you chose to drink again tonight? Was it another bad day or is that the only way I can get you to call me?"

"I needed a distraction from my life today and I thought of you."

"I serve as a distraction?"

"I know what you're thinking; it's more like the other way around. But to be honest I wanted someone to talk to and Alice, Rosalie and Angela are busy."

"I'm not sure if being in fourth place is a good thing or not."

"It's not bad; you did beat out quite a few other people."

"I'll take that as a compliment then."

"You should."

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Honestly it doesn't matter."

"Okay, so how is the hunt going?"

"It's in full swing. The latest victim was Eric…..Okay I was actually the latest victim but Eric was the one to cause my demise."

"Demise?"

"Yes, thanks to Eric and his tainted meat I was extremely sick yesterday."

"Tainted meat?"

"Yep, he made some rancid chicken for dinner."

"I thought you promised not to meet with any strange men Bella."

"Don't worry it wasn't like that. It was my turn to host beer and pizza night and unbeknownst to me, Eric was given a last minute invitation. He brought chicken wings to be nice."

"Serving rancid chicken doesn't seem very nice."

"I'm sure he didn't know it was rancid."

"I guess not, but still….. So how many of you ate the chicken?"

"Just me."

"Sounds like a conspiracy."

"Nope just my stupidity.

"I wouldn't call you stupid."

"But for all you know I _could_ be really stupid."

"No, I just don't see it."

"Really you know very little about me."

"I know enough that I can say you're not stupid, perhaps just unlucky."

"I think it has more to do with some bad karma."

"And what could you have done to deserve such bad karma?"

"I'm not sure maybe I killed someone in a previous life."

'No, I don't think even in another life you could do something like that."

"So you think you know me that well do you?"

"I think I do."

"Okay Edward Cullen…..tell me about myself."

"Well Bella Swan I think that you are a very caring person, and caring does not qualify as a murderous trait. You're also, thoughtful of other people's feelings, intelligent, brave and a lot of fun."

"I knew it was a good idea to call you…thank you Edward."

"You're welcome Bella. So tell me what happened today to prompt your drinking." He asked and I made a mental note to make sure I'm not drinking next time I talk to him.

"I had a run-in with my ex fiancée and his new pregnant wife…the same one he cheated on me with by the way…, at the store while I was looking my absolute worst. Only to have them remind me in a not so nice way that I was alone.

Not to mention that they are getting this information supplied to them by her best friend Jessica, the same Jessica who got to be in charge of the project I was suppose to have gotten but missed out on because I was late for work that day. Oh and that they would be seeing me at Angela's wedding."

"Hmmm, you might be right about the whole karma thing after all."

"I told you! You know I'm very rarely wrong so it would probably be in your best interest not to question me."

"Well I have to give you that one but as a rule I usually don't, being an attorney I tend to persuade people to see things my way."

"Wow, an attorney? That's pretty impressive, granted I don't know what it would be like in real life but Perry Mason made it look like it would be pretty fun. He never lost a case you know."

"As exciting as old reruns of Perry Mason are it's not quite the same.

"No?"

"No, unlike Perry not all of my clients are innocent."

"Okay so you're not Perry but if you like what you do that's really all that matters right?"

"To tell you the truth I don't like it all that much."

"What about it don't you like?"

"All of it. It was never something that I really wanted to do."

"So why did you do it then?"

"Long story short it's because of family obligations."

"Well I happen to have nothing but time so don't let that stop you but if you'd just rather not talk about it that's okay too. But I will say this….family should never make you feel obligated."

"Mine is pretty good at making me feel that way. My future was decided for me by my parents at an early age. They wanted me to become a lawyer and work for my father, they never left it open for discussion."

"Didn't they ever ask you what you wanted to do?"

"No, that wasn't going to make a difference. It was never about me or what I wanted; it's always been about them or him really. My father Edward Cullen Sr. is Chicago's most prominent lawyer. He's the type of man that no one crosses or says no to, you don't want to get on the wrong side of Senior, trust me."

"Sounds like you might be speaking from experience."

"You could say that. It's the reason why I left Chicago."

"What made you decide that Seattle was the place to move to?"

"My aunt and uncle, I used to spend my summers here with them when I was a kid. My father always expected me to work during all school breaks and my uncle convinced him that he would put me to work for him doing things around the house or volunteering at the hospital."

"Wow, I never did anything during my summer breaks except sleep in all day and be extremely lazy."

"Same here. Carlisle never made me do a thing. He insisted that I should have some time to just be a kid. He would make up stories to tell me father about how hard I was working when in reality Carlisle would take time off work and we would just spend time together doing fun things."

"Sounds like he's a really great guy."

"He is."

I woke up to the sun shinning brightly in my eyes and the phone still in my hand. I lifted my face off the couch to find I had been lying in a puddle of drool which left a pretty large outline of the wet spot right in the middle of the cushion.

Thinking it would be best to get rid of it before Emmett could make some inappropriate jokes I went in search of some….. couch cleaner? They make stuff like that right? Sure they do, I've seen it on TV but it must not be something I usually do because there was none to be found. I did however find some carpet cleaner so I figured that is pretty much the same thing.

Good Lord what was I thinking. Not a good idea. Maybe it would have been alright if it was some brand name or something but I suddenly realized why it was in the way back corner of the closet. I had bought it 2 years ago off of an infomercial.

So instead of removing the stain that was originally the size of my palm I now had a stain three times that size and in a darker color. After a while I gave up an just decided to flip the cushion only to find last years mustard stain was still there. At least Emmett wouldn't make fun of me for that especially since he was the one that made it.

I thought about calling Edward back to apologize for passing out on him hoping that the part of my dream that I remember wasn't actually part of our conversation. Especially the part about the best sex I've ever had.

Funny in my dream I knew it was Edward but he was faceless. Which is actually a fear of mine….facelessness. I wonder if that's a word. I mean he of course had a face but no features could be made out. Just as I was about to pick up the phone I got a call from Alice.

"Hey Bells."

"How was your weekend with Jasper?"

"It was great, everyone loved him of course."

"I knew they would."

"I uh, heard about the chicken."

"Yeah." I didn't know what else to say to that. I knew there was nothing that he could have done that would deter Alice.

"But he was nice right? And you two seemed to get a long pretty well."

"Yes Alice, he was very nice, and we got along fine."

"Great so I can give him your number?" she actually sounded hopeful.

"No Alice, I don't know how many times I have to tell you but if I want to date I am more than capable of finding my own."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"So dinner tomorrow night at 6:00 we're meeting at the Pagoda."

"I'll be there and you better not have an unexpected guest with you."


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own twilight.

BPOV

Chapter 4

Monday was the day from hell. We had a deadline, our monthly reports had to be completed by today and at 3:09 the piece of shit computer system crashed. Most everyone else had finished and only a few of us weren't quite done.

While I waited for the tech guys to fix it I decided I'd call Edward. I still needed to apologize for Saturday night. I wasn't surprised to get his answering machine because I knew he would be at work.

His message was so formal it almost sounded like I was calling a funeral parlor. I had the urge to give him that answering machine tape with all those goofy voices and sounds telling you to leave a message.

Finally the system is up and running again at 4:45 and I have at least two more hours of work left. I called Rosalie and told her I wasn't going to be able to make it to dinner and asked her to tell me whether or not Alice had listened to me about not inviting anyone else.

The office had emptied out except for the few procrastinators that waited until the last minute. You'd think I would have learned my lesson by now. Having had skipped lunch today thinking I would be eating dinner at one of my favorite restaurants I was pretty hungry. I remembered that I had a Lean Cuisine that I had brought from home and had put it in the break room freezer.

Taking out what is now my dinner I find that someone had taken _my_ Lean Cuisine and left me their crappy one. Now any other time I might have been tempted to try it out but seeing that it was Garlic Chicken I shut the freezer door and started digging through my purse for some change.

The only vending machine here was down one floor which was also near Jake's office. I tip toed down the hall so the sound of my heels wouldn't give me away. I saw that Jacob's office still had a light on and the door was open. Fuckity fuck. I would be caught for sure since the machine was on the other side of his door.

Deciding that getting stuck talking to Jake would be a worse fate than giving chicken another chance I head back to the break room. I take out the garlic chicken and put it in the microwave. As soon as it dings I think I hear foot steps coming down the hall. I grab the small plastic container and hurry back to my office burning my fingers along the way.

The smell of the chicken actually turns my stomach but I'm so damn hungry since I had also skipped breakfast. I decide to eat around it but that only left me with garlic flavored vegetables. It was gross and now my office smelled the same way.

Getting home I call Rosalie to see how dinner went. Instead Emmett answers saying Rose is taking a shower.

"So what did I miss at dinner?"

"Just the details of Alice and Jasper's trip." His tone sounded normal but I knew him well enough now that I could tell there was more to it.

"Is there something else?" I questioned wondering if he was going to actually tell me or not.

"Okay, I'll tell you but you didn't hear this from me." That sounded ominous.

"Don't tell me Alice invited someone else to dinner."

"Actually no it was just the four of us." That was a surprise. Damn I missed my favorite restaurant and wouldn't have had any interference from Alice.

"So what's the deal then?"

"Well ….they're planning something."

"Planning what?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I was coming back from that bathroom and I only caught on to part of the whispering."

"So what _do_ you know?"

"Only that it involves you and some guy that will apparently be the love of your life."

"Well, that's not exactly surprising. Though I didn't realize she had recruited the others."

"Well for the record Rose protested but she was also sworn to secrecy after a little blackmailing on Alice's part so I don't think you'll get any information out of her."

"Thanks Em, how did I get so lucky as to have you my side?"

"I want you to be happy, no matter what but I know Alice is going about this the wrong way, and to be honest I still feel bad about the whole truck incident so I figured I owed you one."

"Thank you, and don't worry about it. I was running late anyway so I probably would have missed the meeting regardless."

"Thanks Bell, you know I love you."

"You're welcome and I love you too. Thanks for the heads up."

I was still hungry and so I decided to heat up some leftovers. I hated my microwave. The turn table stopped turning for some reason so my food always ended up cold on one side and too hot on the other.

As I ate the phone rang. I hoped it would be Edward. I grabbed the phone and smiled at the caller id flashing at me.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella."

"Hi Edward."

"You sound like you're in a good mood."

"I am now."

"And is that due to my calling you?"

"It is actually."

"Then I guess I'll have to do it more often."

"Did you get my message?"

"Yes I did. You know, I was in the middle of telling you some of my deepest and darkest secrets when you started snoring."

"Hmmm deep and dark secrets huh? You'll ...Hey, I do _not_ snore!"

"I'm afraid you do and not only that, you were getting pretty loud."

"Please tell me you're making that up."

"Sorry, but it's true."

"_Great_."

"It's okay I'm pretty sure I snore too."

"Guys are supposed to snore."

"We are?"

"Yes. You all have it so easy. You get away with everything! Snoring, sweating, you get to pee while standing up, you can walk around without a shirt, make crude jokes, and fart at inappropriate times in public."

"And you wish you could do these things?"

"Not that I would do any of them but it would be nice to be able to get away with it if I wanted to."

"I'll tell you what, I promise to let you get away with any of those things around me and I won't judge you for it."

"You say that now but you might change your mind when we're walking down the street while I'm topless and farting loudly."

"If you're walking down the street topless I highly doubt anyone would be paying attention to your farting."

"They would if it is anything close to the way Emmett does it."

"I'm afraid to ask."

"You should be, it's quite disturbing."

"So you have obviously experienced this first hand."

"The first time I met him." Edward didn't say anything, he just started laughing.

"Edward I almost choked to death!"

"That bad huh?"

"Worse! Had I not been running late for my first day on a new job I would have taken the time to switch elevators."

"So it's just you and Emmett in this elevator or are there others too?"

"Just us, and I had to go to the thirty-fifth floor and when I went to push the button it was already lit up so I knew he was heading there too. We didn't say anything to each other at first he just smiled but by the time we reach the third floor he lets out this really loud fart. I mean really loud. I looked over to him automatically and he smiled apologetically but still didn't say anything.

I turned back to facing the front and by the seventh floor he does it again. I didn't look this time but mostly because I was trying not to laugh but it was hard because it sounded like someone stepped on a duck.

But then it started to smell and this time he muttered a quiet 'sorry'. I didn't know what to say so I just nodded. By the twenty-fifth floor he let go again and I heard him say something about left over Mexican food for breakfast but by this time I was gasping for air.

There wasn't any. I covered my mouth and nose with my hands. I thought about just breathing through my mouth but when he farted for the fourth time the thought of it actually had me gagging.

So here I am gagging while simultaneously trying not to breathe. Finally it was our floor and I practically fell out of the elevator. I think another minute and I would have passed out."

"I don't know who I feel sorrier for."

"Me, definitely me."

"And he was working in your office then?"

"Yeah, it turned out that he was the guy that was in charge of training me."

"That had to be a little embarrassing."

"Well I know that I was embarrassed so he had to have been. But that didn't stop him from hanging out with me at lunch everyday. He even talked me into going to Poncho's with him a couple of times."

"Poncho's is the Mexican restuarant where he got his left overs from?"

"Yeah, it really is pretty good."

"So did you two ever date then?"

"No, neither of us felt that way about each other. It has always been more on a brother/sister level."

"How long ago did you meet him?"

"About three years ago."

"So you introduced him and Rosalie?"

"Yeah, after about a month I invited him to come over for beer and pizza night and he's been with her ever since."

"Does she know about the elevator incident?"

"Yes, I told her about it the same day but Emmett doesn't know that she knows."

"And how long have you known everyone else?"

"I grew up with Alice in Forks. We met in second grade. I met Rosalie in college and Jasper about 8 months ago after he started dating Alice."

"So how old are you?"

"Twenty-five…You?"

"Twenty-six."

"Phew… I was hoping you were my age and not some seventy-five year old.

"You did not really think I was 75 did you? There is no way I sound that old…..Do I?"

"That's not what I meant, and no you don't….unless maybe you count your answering machine message."

"I hate that thing, I re-recorded it at least 10 times and that was the best one."

"Edward it's not _that_ bad."

"Yes it is, I told Esme that I sounded like a…..seventy-five year old."

"Oh, is Esme you're uh g-girlfriend?"

"No, she's my aunt."

"Uh, do you um have…"And someone starts ringing my doorbell. Perfect fucking timing.

"Is that your doorbell?"

"Yeah, hang on a sec." I got up to look out the window to see who it was. "Fucking Alice."

"Isn't it a little late for her to be stopping by?"

"Probably, but she didn't come empty handed."

"She didn't bring someone with her did she?"

"No, sorry I meant she has take out bags with her. I missed dinner tonight since I got stuck at work."

"Oh, well I guess that's okay then."

"I talked to Emmett earlier and he told me that she didn't bring anyone extra with her to dinner so now I'm sorry I missed out."

"Maybe you're off the hook?"

"Don't count on it, he also told me that she has tried to draft the others into this new plan of hers because apparently she has found the love of my life."

"_Great_." He said surprisingly sarcastic and even a little angry. The doorbell rang again.

"I guess I should go."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Goodnight Bella, and by the way the answer is no, I don't have a girlfriend."

"Oh...okay….um, goodnight Edward.

OoOoOoOoOo

"What took you so long?" she asked once I opened the door.

"Sorry Alice I was on the phone."

"That's okay, who were you talking to?" Not ready to share anything about Edward I changed the subject.

"You brought me leftovers?" I said eyeing the bag.

"Yep. What happened at work? Rose just said you had to work late."

"The fucking computer system went down for two hours and I had to get my month-end stuff done."

"That sucks."

"It did. So tell me more about this weekend."

"It went really well. My parents love him. Now it's time for me to meet his family."

"They live in Texas don't they?"

"Yeah, but his brother is going to school in Kentucky right now. He is actually thinking of transferring to U-Dub."

"Really? That would be nice for Jasper." I remember him mentioning his brother Peter once. He was going to be getting married to his girlfriend Charlotte the last time I heard.

"Yeah, he's planning to come out and check out the campus at some point."

"Do you know when he's coming?" I asked taking a bite of the mu shu pork.

"We don't have the dates yet but it will be sometime in the next couple weeks. He is also stopping by University of Oregon since he is going to be out this way."

"Well Eugene is still closer than Kentucky so either way Jasper must be excited."

"He is, um I better get home. Don't forget beer and pizza night is Thursday at Jasper's since he is going to be working late Friday and I have to work Saturday."

"Kay, see you later and thanks for the food."

As tired as I was I didn't fall asleep right away. I laid in bed thinking about stuff. I wonder if I should invite Edward to beer and pizza night. We're friends now right? So that _is_ an okay thing to do.

I wonder how Alice would react though. Not that she wouldn't welcome him but I don't want her scaring him off either. She would probably bombard him the minute she saw us together.

But I suppose since he knows all about Alice and her mission he would know what to expect. But she would be relentless with both of us. She would want to know how I felt about him and honestly I don't have an answer to that.

I mean I really like talking to him and I look forward to his calls and am disappointed when I don't hear from him. He's really smart and he makes me laugh, and he says nice things to me. Huh. Maybe I do have an answer. I think that I might have a little crush on Edward Cullen.

I wonder what he looks like. Is there a rule about asking that sort of question? I don't want to be rude but I really want to know. I'll have to think of a way to ask him without it being obvious.

And how does he feel about me? Would he even be willing to meet with me in person or would he like to keep things the way they are. I went round and round in my head trying to come up with an answer. I guess I have a couple days to decide.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own twilight

Chapter 5

BPOV

It shouldn't be this hard. I mean really what's the worst that can happen? Okay that is definitely not a question I should be asking myself right now. As I have found out many times before I know exactly what the worst that can happen is.

Like the time I decided that I should give high heels a try. I knew full well that I couldn't walk in them but I bought a pair of stilettos anyway. I was trying to impress Bret Hoffman. He was the student body president and I was trying to look sophisticated. Not only did I trip and fall in front of him, I managed to take down the quarterback of our high school football team while injuring his wrist two days before state playoffs. That incident was the first entry on my 'what's the worst that can happen' list.

Or there's the time when I thought it would be okay to ask out the new guy at work. He was really hot and I could have sworn he was always flirting with me. Apparently I'm pretty good as misreading signals because he turned me down. It wasn't until later on that day that I found out that he was Jessica's boyfriend. Yes the same Jessica that I work with now, the same one who is best friends with Lauren. And while I know better than to blame her for Tyler cheating on me with Lauren I'm pretty sure she encouraged it.

So back to the problem at hand. I decided that yes I want to ask Edward if he wants to get together outside of our phone conversations. I've made up my mind for the most part but there is still a part of me that wonders if I should give it a little more time before I do. You know, cement our friendship a little more before I run the risk of him saying no.

It's now Wednesday morning and I'm torn between just asking him to meet me privately for dinner or something or just come right out and ask him to beer and pizza night. I'm afraid meeting privately would seem more date like and I don't know how he would feel about that. But then meeting my friends could be construed as an even bigger deal. And considering what he knows about them he might not even want to.

Ultimately I decide to just go with whatever happens to come out of my mouth at the time. Though, that too has been known to be dangerous, even when I'm not drinking. Our conversation about Emmett farting is evidence of that.

I've picked up the phone numerous times and hung up before his machine turns on. Why am I so nervous? This is ridiculous, Edward's my friend right? I can't concentrate on my job because I'm too worried about this call. So I decide that I can wait until I get home. I really don't want to ask him on a message anyway. So my plan was set. I will call Edward when I get home.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alright I've been home for a little over an hour and I've started laundry, done the dishes and successfully removed the mustard stain out of the couch cushion. (I stopped off to buy some official couch cleaner on my way home.)

I look at the clock and realize I can't put it off any longer; I need to call before it gets too late so I take a deep breath and go to pickup my phone which I had been diligently avoiding. I didn't even notice that I had a message waiting for me.

"_Hey Bella it's me." _The sound of his voice had me smiling almost as much as the fact that he is comfortable enough to go with an **'it's me' **as opposed to saying his name_._

"_I was hoping to catch you before I had to leave but I'm on my way to the airport. I'm flying out to Chicago in two hours. My grandfather passed away last night, anyway I'll call you when I can and let you know how things are going."_

Fuck me.

I realize too late that we never have exchanged cell phone numbers so I have no way of getting in touch with him until he calls me. I want to wait up and see if he calls tonight but I realize that it is about 4 to 5 hours flying time to get there from here and that Chicago is 2 hours ahead of us due to the time change so I doubt I will hear from him.

Well this just sucks. I hope he's doing okay. I know he doesn't have the best relationship with his parents; however I know nothing about how he got along with his grandfather. If the tone of his voice was any indication I'd say they weren't close and he seems more upset about having to go to Chicago than anything.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

So now it's beer and pizza night at Jasper's and I'm not really wanting to go. I want to be home in case Edward calls but I know he's going to be busy with his family and I have no idea when I'll hear from him so I decide to just go ahead and go. I am more than surprised to find that it is just the five of us but I'm not stupid enough to think she's given up.

"Are you okay Bell?"

"Huh?" Apparently I've been spacing out more than usual.

"You seem a little out of it." Rosalie says.

"Yeah, just tired I guess." That seems to work for the time being as everyone goes back to their conversations. That is until Emmett corners me alone in the kitchen.

"When you're ready to talk let me know." He said. I wonder if I should tell him. I mean it's not like Edward is some big secret. Well okay so I may not have mentioned him to anyone but I just didn't want to have Alice on my back about meeting him until I was ready.

"I'm fine; I'm just worried about a friend." His eyebrows shoot up and he looks at me in surprise.

"Anyone I know?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

I can see he wants to continue but Alice walks in the room and he can tell by the look on my face that I don't want to talk about this in front of her so he shuts up. About an hour later Emmett and Rosalie leave and I'm about to do the same when Jasper stops me.

"Bella, I have a really big favor to ask."

"Sure, what is it?" I watch as he looks to Alice and she gives him the 'go ahead' look. He turns back to me and smiles.

"Well we just found out that Peter is flying in tomorrow evening and I can't pick him up because I got stuck covering the late shift at work." I don't have a chance to say anything before Alice jumps in.

"I would do it but I already promised Angela we could do the dress fittings." Alice is a fashion designer and is doing all the dresses for Angela's wedding. I didn't realize this made it mandatory for her to go to the fittings but apparently it does.

"Sure, no problem. What time does his flight get in?"

"It lands at 5:45 and then you can just drop him off here. I'll make a copy of the key and leave it under that mat." He smiles slightly.

"Okay, does he know I'm picking him up?" I really didn't want to be one of those people that has to wait in baggage claim holding a sign with someone's name on it. With my luck I would get some serial killer claiming that he was Peter Whitlock.

"We'll let him know. I'll send him your picture so he'll know to look for you. And you really won't be able to miss him. He looks exactly like Jasper." Alice says.

"Okay."

"Thanks Bella."

When I get home I see that in fact I did miss a call. Damn it.

"_Hi Bella, We made it and it looks like I will be stuck here for at least a week. It's about 8:00pm here. I should be up for a while. Anyway you can call me if you want; my cell number is 555-1874. Talk to you later."_

Well now it's just after 10:00 here so that makes it midnight there. I don't want to call him this late but I really want to talk to him so I decide I can send a text and see if he's still up.

"_Hi, I just got your message but it's pretty late and I didn't want to wake you. Give me a call whenever you can_."

_'Who's this_?" He texts back. Fucker.

_'Who do you think?_'

_'I'm hoping that it's Bella__.'_

_'You're not sure? How many girls are you waiting to get a call from?_**'**

_'Just the one, but you never know, sometimes people misdial_.'

_'I'm sticking my tongue out at you_.'

_'No need for the obscenities. As I've told you before I didn't mind. In fact I'm extremely glad you did_.'

_'Since when is sticking a tongue out considered obscene?'_

_'Since always.'_

_'Clearly you don't know what obscene means then_.'

I reached for my dictionary and I called him before he can text me again. I quickly found the page I was looking for and started speaking as soon as he answered.

"The definition of obscene: abhorrent to morality or virtue, specifically designed to incite lu…."

"What was that last part?"

"Nevermind."

"Oh come on, just tell me."

"I don't want to."

"Okay, I'll just look it up myself."

"Fine….designed to incite lust or depravity."

"So you weren't using your tongue to incite lust or depravity then?"

"You're making me blush."

"That's something I would like to see."

"It doesn't take much so I'm sure you will."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too."

"Good."

"So how long are you going to be in Chicago for?"

"I'm not sure exactly, a week or two. My grandfather made me executor to his estate which did not go over well with Senior by the way."

"I'm sorry about your grandfather, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I never knew him."

"At all?"

"No, apparently he and my father stopped speaking when I was a baby."

"Did he ever try to see you?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I was told that he cut Senior out of his life and so I guess that meant me and my mother too."

"So you're an only child then?"

"Yep, and the only grandchild, Carlisle and Esme never had children."

"That must have been hard for him never to see his only grandchild."

"You'd think so but he never made the effort. I tried to contact him about 6 months ago but the letter I had written him was returned. Stupidly I had used an envelope from the office and when it came back Senior got a hold of it first."

"Is that what caused the fight between you and your dad?"

"It was the last straw so to speak but yeah that fight was the reason why I moved to Seattle."

"So you haven't been living here for very long then."

"Just about four months."

"So I take it your not staying at your parent's house while you're there."

"We decided a hotel would be best, my dad said he didn't want me there and Carlisle and Esme weren't going to stay without me."

"Wow, sounds like you're in for one hell of a week then."

"At least." I heard him yawn and I looked to see what time it was.

"You must be tired and I don't want to keep you up, but will you call me later and let me know how you're doing."

"I will, sweet dreams Bella."

"You too Edward."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Friday after work I drive straight to the airport. Traffic was pretty heavy so I ended up being a little late. I hoped he wouldn't think I forgot him. I quickly made my way to baggage claim. I found which area he was suppose to be in when I got rammed in the ankles by someone's luggage cart.

"Shit, I'm so sorry. I'm such a klutz." I heard some guy say. That was usually my line.

I looked up to see Jasper. Okay so it was really Peter but if I didn't know any better I'd say they were twins.

"You do look exactly like Jasper."

"Bella? I'm so sorry, really. I should have been watching where I was going, not that that would have stopped me. Unfortunately things like this happen to me all the time."

"It's fine really. I'm pretty klutzy myself. Do you have all your stuff?"

"Yeah, thanks for doing this."

"No problem." We walked out to my truck and I helped Peter unload his stuff. He had to of had 3 suitcases.

"So how long are you in town for?" I ask him once we start driving. It looked like he was planning to stay for awhile.

"Well, I'm going to go check out the U-Dub campus Monday and then I'm renting a car to drive down to U of O, then I'll come back up here to spend a week or two with Jasper."

"That's nice. Do you have a preference to which school yet?"

"I haven't really decided but I need to get out of Kentucky. Jasper really wants me to go to U-Dub of course but both of the Universities have good programs that I can transfer into."

"So is Charlotte moving out here too then?" I watched as his face drained of color.

"Um actually Charlotte is staying in Kentucky."

"Oh, I'm uh sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, it's fine. It's not your fault. Um Charlotte called off the engagement a few months ago."

"Peter I really am sorry."

"Don't feel bad, I'm getting over it. I think I'm more upset that I didn't see all the red flags. Hind sight and all I realize how different we really are. It never would have worked out and its better that it happened now instead of after we got married.

"I know the feeling." He gave me a look that told me he wants to know but doesn't want to ask.

"Yeah, I was actually engaged too but um as it turned out we weren't right of each other at all."

"Looks like we have a few things in common then." He said smiling. We had pulled into Jasper's driveway and Peter got his bags out of the back of the truck. I checked under that mat but there wasn't a key there. I looked around in any other hiding space it could be but there wasn't anything.

"Is something wrong?" Peter asked.

"Jasper must have forgotten to leave the key out."

"I can call him and see what time he'll be back." Peter offers. While he just gets Jasper's voice mail I try Alice.

"Alice there isn't a key under the mat and Jasper's not answering his phone. Do you know when he gets off work?"

"I don't think he gets off until 11:30 tonight. He's covering the late shift. Why don't you just take Peter back to your house. I'm sure Jasper will come by to pick him up after he gets off work."

"Um."

"Peter's really nice Bella, I'm sure you'll have fun tonight. I think you guys will get along great."

Fucking Alice set me up.


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own twilight.

Chapter 6

BPOV

I hung up the phone. There was no point in continuing the conversation. I turned to Peter; he was looking at me with his eyebrows furrowed, clearly confused.

"Jasper doesn't get off work until 11:30 tonight so how about we go to my house. I can make us some dinner or something if you're hungry."

"Oh um, sure but only if it's not too much trouble, I don't want to intrude." I could tell he felt a little bad and as furious as I was this was not his fault.

"Honestly it's fine. I didn't have any plans tonight outside of giving my neighbor's cat her nightly shot."

"Okay, only if you're sure because I don't mind waiting here."

"Don't be ridiculous Peter; do you really want to wait on your brother's porch for the next 6 hours?"

"Not really." I helped him carry his bags back out to the truck.

"Do you live around here?" he asked.

"Not too far, about 10 minutes or so." I took the long way around and drove by Alice's to see if her car was parked there. I realized this she probably isn't even at Angela's at all. I wonder if Jasper even had to work late, not that it mattered. They would have made up some excuse regardless.

"Make yourself at home, the bathroom is down the hall second door on the right." I told him as we walked in the door.

"Thanks Bella, I really appreciate this."

"No problem, what do you want for dinner?" My mind quickly flashed back to rancid chicken and while I wouldn't poison us I did contemplate sending some as leftovers for Alice and Jasper.

"Whatever you want is fine." he said before disappearing down the hall. I looked through my cupboards and I didn't have a whole lot since tomorrow was grocery shopping day. I decided on spaghetti since that was the easiest and the only thing that I had enough of for two people.

He was in the bathroom for quite a while. I could hear the water running in the sink and I wondered if I should offer him use of my shower but I didn't because it kind of weirded me out a little.

We talked all throughout dinner. He told me about the classes he was taking and he asked me about my job. It turned out that we were in the same field. He told me about growing up with Jasper and I now had some stories I could tease him with. Then I was brought back to the reality of the situation. I had been set up, and my bad mood was back instantly.

"That was really good."

"Thanks but its just spaghetti, it's pretty hard to mess it up."

"Well I have been known to burn water."

"If you're anything like Jasper I can believe it."

"Once I get settled I might have to sign up for a cooking class or something." Please let that be a completely innocent remark.

"Yeah, maybe they will have one available on campus."

"Do you want some help with the dishes?"

"Oh no, um I'll do them later. I have to head next door to give the cat a shot so um I'll be right back."

"I thought you were kidding about that."

"No, Piffles is a diabetic and I'm watching her while my neighbor is out of town."

"Seriously? A diabetic cat?"

"Yep."

"I'll come with you, maybe I can help."

"Sure."

We walked next door and as soon as Piffles saw us she ran away. We spent the next 30 minutes trying to get her out from behind the dresser. I think she must know what time of day it is because she never does this at any other time.

I got the syringe ready and coaxed Piffles out with some tuna. I had my system down. I'd become very practiced at this. I don't know why Peter was determined to get involved. Oh wait yes I do…..bad karma.

I had the cat between by legs and was holding her with one hand while I was just about to give her the shot. Peter stepped forward offering to hold her for me and in the same moment he fucking stepped on her tail.

The cat screeched in the most heinous manner while scratching the shit out of me before escaping back into the bedroom.

"I'm so so sorry Bella." Peter started.

"It's fine, not your fault." Yeah, it's totally your fault.

"I can try and get the cat to come back out." he offered.

"No I think maybe we should let her calm down, I'll just come back later and try again."

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't be, really no big deal." We walked back across the yard and inside. I went to the bathroom to check out my wounds.

Most of the scratches weren't too bad; I had several on my thighs. I can't believe she could cause so much damage through denim. My arms and hands had them too. Those were worse since I had short sleeves on but I had two that I was pretty sure were going to scar.

They weren't bad enough to warrant stitches or anything but they were deep enough that it took several minutes before they stopped bleeding. One of which was on the inside of my wrist and the other ran right down the middle of my boob.

_Perfect_.

It was a little after nine and I still had another three hours to go before Jasper was supposedly going to show up. I suggested a movie. It seemed like a good way to waste some time.

I didn't have a very big collection. I had a few of my favorites obviously but none of which could be considered anything but girly movies. We decided on The Holiday but we both fell asleep.

When I heard the doorbell ringing I woke Peter up and told him Jasper was here. He got up off the couch and opened the front door.

"Hey bro." I watched as the two Jasper's hugged.

"Good to see you."

"You too."

"Hey Bella, thanks for picking up Peter and I'm sorry I…" I cut him off before he could finish.

"Like I told Peter it was no problem." I said looking in Jasper's direction but not making eye contact.

"It was great meeting you Peter."

"You too Bella, and thanks for letting me hang out here."

"Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jasper asked.

"Actually I'm really exhausted and I'm just going to head to bed but I'm sure I'll talk to you later."

"Oh um yeah of course." He smiled politely and asked his brother if he was ready to go.

"Yeah." Peter said as he picked up his stuff.

"Don't forget beer and pizza night is this Tuesday at Emmett and Rosalie's."

"I won't forget." I also had no intention on going. As soon as they left I went next door and spent the next hour and a half trying to give Piffles her shot.

I was so glad it was the weekend. I slept in until noon, and when I woke up I saw that I had seven new messages. The three from Alice I deleted without bothering to listen to them. One from Jasper, one from Rosalie, and two from Emmett.

I texted Rose and Emmett and told them I wasn't feeling well but I would call them later on. I didn't bother to reply to Jasper but I knew he knew I wouldn't.

I went grocery shopping and that was the high light of my day so far. No word from Edward yet but I wasn't too worried I knew he would be calling when he could.

Finally just as I finished my dinner my phone buzzed with a text.

"_Are you busy?"_

"_Never too busy for you, I'm at home_." And he called me a second later.

"I think I can finally rival one of your bad days."

"Oh come on Edward you should know better than that. I've had years of experience."

"No really, I think I've got you beat this time."

"Does this cover all my bad days or just my latest one?"

"Let's start with the latest one and go from there."

"Okay, whatcha got?"

"My father is trying to replace me as executor of my grandfather's estate."

"That's not nearly enough Cullen."

"Cullen? You're sassy tonight."

"Yes, I'm sassy because _my_ bad day started with Alice launching a sneak attack and she completely set me up."

"Fucking Alice."

"I know! See? You're not off to a very good start there."

"Ah but you didn't let me finish."

"Go ahead, not that it will do you any good."

"Oh you'll see. He's insinuating that I'm an incompetent lawyer and is trying to get me investigated in hopes that I will give up and give into his demand that he should be the one to handle the estate."

"What an asshole."

"Told ya."

"Will that work?"

"No, I haven't done anything wrong and I'm not going to let him intimidate me."

"Okay… then I'm still in this."

"Yeah but not for long."

"Alice managed to pull Jasper over to the dark side and their ganging up on me."

"Jasper, as in he's too laid back and easy going to ever get mad at Jasper?"

"Now being referred to as Fucking Jasper, yes."

"My dad started arguing with me at the church in the middle of the funeral service about the money from my grandfather's estate."

"Did anyone hear?"

"Oh, everyone heard."

"Holy shit."

"Ready to give up?"

"I'm not going down without a fight."

"This is your last chance."

"Peter stepped on Piffles' tail which caused her to scratch the hell out of me, while leaving me with two giant scars."

"Piffles? And who the hell is Peter?"

"My next door neighbor's diabetic cat Piffles that I am currently taking care of while she's out of town. Peter is Jasper's brother who I got tricked into spending the night with."

"Spend the night with!"

"Sorry, I meant evening before Jasper picked him up."

"My father punched me in the face at the gravesite."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I told him that the estate was divided into three equal parts. Carlisle and I each got a third but the share that was supposed to be for my father was given to charity instead. He told me that I should be willing to split my inheritance with him or just hand it over. He blames me because my grandfather made the change to his will about the same time he received the letter that I sent him."

"Shit Edward are you okay?"

"I'll be fine; I just can't wait to get the hell out of here. And I believe that I just won."

"Yeah, I'd say that you did. You're handling this a lot better than I would have. I'd be down at the bar already."

"Carlisle did offer to take me out once we get back home. You'll have to tell me where the best places to go are. I haven't really been out since I moved to Seattle."

"Hmmm. Let's see. The Thirsty Lion is the bar I went to the night I ran into Mike. They have live bands playing there or if you're looking for dinner too, Poncho's _is_ really good and they make _the best_ margaritas."

"Well if we go to Poncho's I'll make sure to steer clear of any elevators with unsuspecting women in them."

"I don't think you have to worry, it doesn't seem to have the same effect on anyone else but Emmett. We eat there a lot and I have never had a similar experience with anybody besides him."

"That's good to know."

"How did we get back in this topic, its bad enough that we actually discussed it the first time."

"You brought it up."

"Don't remind me."

"Okay then change of subject. What are you planning to do about Alice? I really think something needs to be done."

"I'm starting with a boycott. I just don't have the energy to deal with her."

"That's a good start but you _are_ going to need to deal with this."

"I know, it's just hard. We've been friends for 19 years and 18 of those were good. Not to mention that if I gave up Alice I would have to give up everyone else."

"Why? They're your friends too."

"I could keep Emmett and Rosalie but it would make it really hard for them. Maybe I should just put up with it."

"No way! Why should you be miserable just to make everyone else happy?"

"I'm really good at it, and it just seems easier that way."

"I'd rather that _you_ were happy."

"That's nice in theory but I just don't know if it's possible."

"Yes it is, don't do something that you don't want to do just to make them happy. You need to put yourself first sometimes because if you don't nobody else will."

"That sounds very cliché."

"It's the best I could come up with."

"Thank you; it really is good advice Edward."

"I know."

"Does that mean your going to quit your job and go in search of something that _you_ actually want to do?"

"I thought we were talking about you."

"It works both ways."

"I don't even know what I'd want to do."

"Leave it to me. I'll pick something for you."

"You think you know me well enough to do that?"

"I have a good idea already but how about you tell me more about yourself and by the end of the month I will have your new career picked out for you."

"The end of the month isn't that far away."

"Are you doubting me?"

"No, I trust you Bella, but I get the power of a veto."

"So much for trusting me, but fine you can have the veto but I know you won't need it."

"So what do you want to know about me?"

"Everything."

Edward and I talked for hours I didn't get to bed until Sunday morning at 7:30. That meant that I slept most of the day away. I talked to Rosalie for a while but she didn't bring up the subject of Alice, Jasper or Peter.

I was wondering if she knew everything already or was just avoiding the subject. Monday was pretty uneventful outside of a call from Angela who reminded me that her bachelorette party was this Saturday.

I kept avoiding calls from Alice and Jasper. Tuesday was beer and pizza night and I waited until the last minute before I called Emmett to cancel. He said he understood but wasn't happy about it.

Wednesday I was bombarded with calls from Alice. I knew it was coming when I didn't go last night. She didn't say much in her messages other than to please call her. Later on I got another call from Angela. She was getting a little frantic now that the wedding was so close.

"Hey Bella, I heard you were sick."

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Oh, I guess I misunderstood. Anyway I was calling because we decided to put name cards on the tables. It will be a lot easier if everyone knows where they're supposed to sit."

"That's a good idea."

"So I need the name of your date."

"What?"

"The name of your date…to the wedding."

"Right, my date."

"You do have a date don't you? Alice told me a few weeks ago that you did."

"Yeah, I um do."

"So, what's his name?"

"Um."

"Is it Jasper's brother?"

"Jasper's brother?"

"Peter right?"

"What makes you think he's my date?"

"I don't know, I guess I just assumed. I met him last night when I stopped by to pick up some things from Alice. Jasper said he was in town for a few weeks."

"He's not my date."

"Okay, who is it then?"

"Uh."

"Bella, you're not going to make me guess are you?"

"No, of course not. Um his name is Edward."

"Edward who?"

"Edward Cullen, he's a friend of mine."

"Oh good, I can't wait to meet him."

"Yeah, me too."

"See you Saturday for the bachelorette party."

"See ya."

Damn it.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Hey you."

"Hey Edward, can you talk?"

"Yeah, I could use a break."

"How are things going, are you almost finished?"

"Yes. In fact I should be getting out of here in the next couple of days."

"That's great."

"It is, I don't think I'd last much longer."

"Do you have a flight booked yet?"

"No but we're flying out the minute I get this done."

"Isn't that a little expensive, last minute flights and all?"

"I'll just take it out of my inheritance. It will be worth it just to get the hell out of here."

"So….. um….. uh…"

"Yeah?"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Your voice just cracked."

"It did not."

"Did too."

"So Angela's wedding is a week from Saturday."

"D-day."

"Yeah."

"So what's the plan then? Has Alice secretly invited Jasper's brother?"

"She might have but I told Angela I wasn't going with him."

"And what did Angela say to that?"

"She asked me if I had a date."

"And what did you tell her?"

"That I did."

"I see, did Alice have a back up ready in case Peter failed?"

"No, I uh found this one all on my own."

"And where did you find him exactly?"

"You're supposed to be making this a little easier for me Edward."

"Making what a little easier?"

"Asking you to, you know um maybe go with me?"

"Are you asking me to be your date to Angela's wedding?"

"Uh, y-yeah, um only if you want to of course….. and you know it doesn't have to be a _date_ date if you don't want it to be. I mean we could just go as friends. Since we are friends, right? Fuck unless you'd rather just keep this all on the phone. I'm sorry I didn't mean to make this awkward. Shit, can we just forget I asked?"

"No."

"No as in we can't forget it or no as in you don't want to go?"

"No as in we can't forget it. I would love to go with you."


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own twilight

Chapter 7

Edward was working hard to wrap things up so we didn't talk a whole lot. He did text me giving me periodic updates. He was flying in late Friday night. I told him I was going to be going out with Angela Saturday and so I wouldn't be available.

His plan was to take his uncle up on his offer of going out for a drink that night. If I knew where Angela was planning on going I would have tried to make sure that I 'happened' to run into Edward. But the more I thought about that plan the more I realized that it might not be a good idea. We were all going to be drinking pretty heavily and that might not be the best way for me to meet Edward for the first time so I kept my mouth shut. But I was really really tempted.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Emmett asked eyeing me while he took a bite of his sandwich.

"I….. don't know." It was hard to keep the smile off my face. Ever since Edward said he wanted to go to Angela's wedding with me I haven't been able to stop.

"You don't know?" He asked arching an eyebrow at me.

"Can't I just be in a good mood?"

"No."

"What? Yes I can."

"I might buy that if I didn't know you've been pretty miserable lately. Tell me what changed. I know you haven't talked to Alice so this has to be about something else."

"How do you know I haven't talked to Alice?"

"Because she's been calling me and Rose twice a day trying to get us to talk to you for her since you're not calling her back."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Since you missed beer and pizza night…so 4 days."

"Oh. Well I have to see her tonight for the bachelorette party so you won't have to play messenger anymore." And there went my good mood.

"Are you going to talk to her?"

"I'm not sure yet." He didn't say anything for a minute as he took a big drink of his Pepsi. I felt kind of bad that he and Rose were getting stuck in the middle of this whole thing but that was Alice's doing not mine.

"So how's your friend?" He asked changing the subject. I was glad for that but not ready to divulge everything yet.

"Friend?" I bit my cheeks to try to keep from smiling again.

"Yes your friend, the one you mentioned the other day."

"He's doing much better now, thanks."

"So what's his name?"

"Edward."

"And how long have you known this Edward guy?"

"A few weeks."

"Does he work with you?"

"No."

"Are you more than just friends?"

"What gives you that idea?"

"Doy, you're face lit up at the mention of him."

"Did you just say doy?"

"What's wrong with doy?"

"You just don't hear a lot of that word anymore."

"Quit changing the subject." He said as he leaned closer across the table scrutinizing me.

"I'm not changing the subject, I believe that was you."

"Nice try. Now tell me who this guy is."

"Edward is my friend, and no we're not dating but he is going with me to Angela's wedding." This time his face lit up.

"You're not dating but he is your _date_ to Angela's wedding?"

"Yes."

"But you _want_ to be dating him." He said this very sure of himself as he put his sandwich down.

"What?" I could feel the heat on my cheeks. I tried to discreetly cover them up with my hands but it didn't work, Emmett sat back in his chair with a satisfied look on his face.

"How did you two meet?" This was going to be embarrassing.

"That night that we went to the Thirsty Lion a few weeks back."

"I thought his name was Mark and I thought you weren't interested."

"His name was Mike and I wasn't interested in him."

"So why did Alice set you up with Mike if you were interested in Edward?"

"Alice doesn't know about Edward and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Obviously I'm missing something and I have the feeling that you're leaving it out on purpose."

"Alright fine, I'll tell you but I want you to promise me that you won't make fun of me and you won't tell anyone else about him."

"You do realize they'll see him at the wedding right?"

"Doy, but I'd like to keep it quiet until then, I'm nervous enough without everyone on my case asking about us."

"Us huh? Alright, out with it."

"Fine, that night Mike had left his business card on the table and Alice called him pretending to be me and made a date with him." Emmett kept quiet but he was shaking his head and had a scowl on his face.

"When I got back home there was a message waiting for me from him about our date. As I'm sure you remember I was a little tipsy that night."

"A little?" He started laughing and I rolled my eyes at him.

"So anyway I called him back to cancel and I accidentally dialed the wrong number."

"And the number you dialed was Edward's?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so how did that turn into an ongoing thing then?"

"Well I may have called him more than once that night." He closed his eyes and smashed his lips together trying not to laugh.

"I told you I was tipsy, and his number was virtually the same as Mike's, anyone could have made the same mistake."

"Somehow I don't think so."

"Anyway, I ended up telling him about my day and I explained about Mike and he called me the next day to find out how it all went down."

"He called you back the next day?"

"Yep."

"Hmmm. How long before you met face to face?"

"Um." I said biting my lip and looking away.

"You haven't met face to face yet." He smirked.

"No."

"And you already like this guy."

"He's my friend, of course I do."

"I mean you _like him_ like him."

"I may have a slight little smallish crush on him."

"Please tell me that you at least have seen his picture."

"Not yet."

"What if he's, you know, ugly?"

"Emmett!"

"What? He could be."

"So you're criteria for a friend is that they have to be attractive?" I asked.

"Of course not Bells you know that. But I'm not talking about criteria for just a friend. I'm talking about criteria for people that you have a slight little smallish crush on."

"It doesn't matter what he looks like. He is so nice and funny and super sweet."

"_Super_ sweet?" He asked laughing again.

"He always says sweet things to me so yes, he's _super_ sweet."

"Okay, all I'm saying is that physical attraction is important too if it's regarding someone you may want to date."

"Oh shit, you're right."

"When am I not? You may see him next week and he might be shifted right into the friend zone permanently."

"No, I mean what if he thinks that _I'm_ ugly!"

"He's not going to think that you're ugly."

"How can you know that?"

"Because I have eyes, you're a beautiful woman." I rolled mine at him.

"You are Bella." He said seriously.

"Thank you, but what if Edward doesn't think so?"

"Then he would have to be blind."

"I'm back." Rosalie called from the front door.

"Hey Bella, sorry I took so long."

"It's fine. Did you get the stuff?"

"Yep, and I talked to Angela too, we're going to meet at her place before going downtown."

"That'll be fun, where does she want to go tonight?"

"A few different places but there all within walking distance." And the she turned to Emmett.

"Keep you're phone on please and I'll call you when it's time to pick us up."

"I still don't see why I can't go too."

"I didn't go to Ben's bachelor party last night."

"You could have."

"Yeah right and besides we're going to need someone to drive."

"Fine." He grumbled. Rosalie and I went into the bathroom to change and get ready. As soon as we were done Emmett drove us to Angela's. As we were walking into the building I saw Jasper pulled up with Alice. I pretended like I didn't see her and kept walking. Once inside I noticed that there were probably about 20 people all together. That would make it a little easier.

Angela was dressed in the standard bachelorette apparel. The 'I'm the bride' shirt with a fake veil. The rest of us got away with wearing just a necklace.

"Hi Bella." I heard Alice say quietly. I turned around to face her.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry, I never should have..."

"Not now, I just want to have a good time and not ruin the night for Angela."

"Okay, but can we please talk later? I swear Bella, I will never interfere again, I don't want to lose you." She pleaded. I nodded and walked straight into the kitchen where some people were making drinks. I started drinking immediately, which was both a good and bad thing. Good because it got me away from my bad mood pertaining to Alice but also bad because it made me speak way too freely.

About an hour later I was somewhat aware of what was going on. I mean I knew where I was and what I was doing for the most part but it also gave me no filter and zero inhibition. In my drunken state I laid into Alice. Not that I wouldn't have done so when I was sober but I would have done it much better and less emotional then I would have in my current state. She begged and pleaded for forgiveness and I made her promise on her death bed to stay out of my love life.

At least I think that's what went down. I do have a few holes in my memory and apparently I even promised to have dinner with everyone at Poncho's the next night. I'm not even sure how I got home. Well I know that it was Emmett who brought me. I do vaguely remember him carrying me to my room and leaving a garbage can next to my bed. I was at least smart enough to lock up my phone before I even went out so I didn't embarrass myself with anymore drunk calling. But I was really in the mood to talk to Edward.

The next day when I woke up I was lucky enough not to feel too bad. I didn't throw up or need more than 2 Advil this time. I did however sleep the day away and woke up to Rosalie pounding on my door. I actually didn't remember the details of this part of the plan but apparently it was all settled last night. I wanted to back out but she told me that it was time to talk this all out while sober and I knew she was right.

I got up and brushed my teeth. I washed all of last nights makeup off and started again. When we got there Alice and Jasper where waiting with many apologies and promises. I still wasn't one hundred percent sold but I was starting to cave a little. I told them I didn't promise anything and while I was still extremely mad I would consider forgiving them one day. Apparently that was all that they needed and the subject was dropped. I got up to go to the bathroom and Alice came too. I was nice but it still wasn't quite back to normal.

"Um Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"You do realize you're still wearing your penis necklace from last night right?"

Oh great. I looked down and part of the balls were sticking out from my shirt. How could I not notice? That was pretty embarrassing; I wondered how many other people saw it. It didn't matter last night when it was clear we were all part of a bachelorette party but now….. As we walked out of the bathroom I took the necklace off but it was stuck in my hair.

I slowed down a little but didn't stop completely while I focused on unwinding my hair, it was really tangled up. The next thing I know I crash right into someone. I stepped back ready to apologize but my words aren't forming as I looked up to see an insanely gorgeous man. Neither of us said a word at first, we just stared.

"I'm so sorry." He said after several moments.

"No it was my fault, I wasn't paying attention. I was trying to unwind my hair from my penis."

"Necklace! My penis necklace." I shouted at this poor guy as I held it up for him so he could see what I was talking about. That didn't really help my case since I was actually wearing a penis necklace. Of course he didn't know the reason for it and I felt the need to get away from there as soon as possible.

I tried to escape but when I moved to the side to go around him he moved the same way. We did that a few times before Alice had to step in and help me walk by him. I blushed and he smiled before I sat back down at our table.

"He's really hot." Rosalie said not even trying to keep her voice down.

"Try insanely gorgeous." I didn't mean for that to slip out, I hope he didn't hear me. I snuck a peek at him as he walked back to his table and sat down with his friends.

"Go talk to him. He keeps looking over here." Rosalie tried again. As good looking as this guy was, I was much more interested in having a shot with Edward. Maybe I _should_ have told Rosalie about him. I noticed that Alice didn't say a word. She kept her head down and was staring at the table intently.

"Of course he's looking over here. I'm sure he's pointing me out to his friends 'there's the girl with a penis." As I said this they all looked over in my direction. Luckily dinner was over and Jasper and Alice insisted on paying. I decided to wait outside so I wouldn't have to prolong my embarrassment. As I was waiting for everyone to come outside I looked back in the window just to see what was taking so long.

I saw insanely gorgeous guy up at the register along with Alice and Jasper. Rose was in the bathroom and Emmett was on his way out to join me. I kept my eyes on them and I watched them talking for a minute.

I was immediately suspicious. I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt but I wasn't quite able to. I started to head back inside to interrupt any sort of conversation they were having about me when Emmett stopped me.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I don't trust Alice." I said pointing to insanely gorgeous guy. As soon as Emmett turned around Jasper and Alice started walking this way and insanely gorgeous guy was waiting with his friend to pay the bill. They better not have screwed me over.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Are we still on for next Saturday?"

"Yeah, if you still want to go."

"Of course I do. I'm really looking forward to it."

"Me too, thanks for agreeing to go with me."

"Thanks for asking me. So how should we do this? Can I pick you up?"

"Sure, that would probably be the easiest."

"Will you text me your address later?"

"Are you too lazy to get a pen or something?"

"No, I'm in bed and I don't want to get up."

"That sounds kind of lazy to me."

"I'm not lazy... I'm comfortable."

"I'm in bed too so I'll text you tomorrow."

"So what are you wearing?"

"I'm wearing a t-shirt and shorts you perv. What are you wearing?"

"I meant to the wedding, Esme told me I had to be color coordinated with you or something. But obviously your mind is in the gutter."

"That was _so_ your fault, we were just talking about being in bed and then you ask me what I'm wearing. It was the only logical assumption."

"Nope, I just think you have a dirty mind."

"I do not, besides since when do guys question wardrobe choices for a wedding."

"Like I told you that was Esme's idea and you did ask what I was wearing too so that would make _you_ the pervert not me."

"Puh-lease."

"Please what? Tell you what I'm wearing right now?"

"Oh shut up. I'm wearing a dark blue dress….. To the wedding."

"What time should I be there?"

"It's at five so do you want to come by around 3:30 or 4:00?"

"Sounds good, I'm going to be working a lot this week to get caught up but I'll make sure to call you again before then."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight Bella, sweet dreams." Just as I hung up the phone and turned over to go to sleep my cell phone rang. I knew it had to be Edward so I got up out of bed and went to get it out of my purse. I climbed back into bed and checked the message.

"_The answer is nothing, I knew you'd be dying to know. _;p_"_ The jerk, now I had images of faceless naked Edward in bed.

The weekend couldn't have come soon enough but at the same time it was here too soon. I was freaking out. Emmett was right, I should have asked for a picture or something. I should have given him mine, maybe then I wouldn't be as anxious as I am right now.

I feel sick. I think I might actually throw up. I woke up at 7:00am Saturday morning. I had about 8 and a half hours before Edward got here. Yep, definitely going to be sick. I tried to relax in the bath this but it didn't do much to calm my nerves. I shaved and tweezed. I spent 30 minutes deciding which perfume to wear. I spent the entire day getting ready.

I sat in my bathrobe with my dress hanging on a hanger and everything else was ready. My phone rang at 3:00 and it was Edward telling me he was going to be leaving soon and he wanted to double check the directions. This was it. I was going to meet him in under an hour. I sat there wringing my hands in between my pacing. I had just gotten dressed when at 3:15 the door bell rings.

I look through the peep hole but can only see the back of his head. What the hell is he looking at anyway? I slowly open the door and I come face to face with insanely gorgeous guy, the one from last Sunday. What the fuck? He looked shocked for a second before his face lit up.

"Bella?"

"Fucking Alice!"

"Um, what?"

"I can't believe her."

"No, wait."

"You're the guy that was at Poncho's last Sunday."

"Yeah, but."

"Look I know that you probably over heard what I said about you being insanely gorgeous and all and I know how convincing Alice can be but there's been a mistake, you need to go."

"Alice?"

"She put you up to this didn't she?"

"No Bella, you…."

"She had to have, why else would you be here?"

"I"

"I'm sorry but you have to go. I don't know what Alice told you but I already have a date."

"Alice didn't tell me….."

"Of course she did, she cornered you and somehow convinced you to go to this wedding with me. How else would you have gotten here? I can't believe she actually gave you my address. She has gone too far this time."

"But."

"No look I'm sorry but my date is going to be here any minute and he can't find you here."

"Your date?"

"Yes, now you need to go."

"Wait."

"There's no time, I can't let Edward find another guy here. That would ruin everything."

"Ruin everything?"

"Yes."

"And how would that ruin everything?"

"Look, it's really none of your business but I really like him okay? And if I want any sort of chance I can't have him thinking that there is someone else."

"You really like him?" He asked with a huge smile.

"Yes, now seriously you need to go."

"But do you even know what this guy looks like?"

"Why would you even ask a question like that? You sound just like Em….Fucking Emmett! He must have told Alice...Did Alice tell you I've never seen him?"

"No, I…."

"Look it really doesn't matter to me what he looks like okay?"

"Bella, listen to me. I've never even spoken to either Alice or Emmett. I'm here because you invited me."

"I think I would have remembered that."

"Bella, it's me. I'm Edward."

Fuck me.


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own twilight

Chapter 8

"Bella?"

"Bella?"

"Are you okay?"

"Shit….I….. Fuck…. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean… I…. It's…. it's just that..…Alice…..and last week…the restaurant…..and you were there….. and talking …. and I didn't….know...I mean…. what are the_… odds_?"

"Bella, it's okay."

"But it's not." Suddenly Edward's eye twitched, he raised his hand to it as he closed it partially. It was like something flew in it or something. He kind of wiped his eye discreetly and I realized what I did.

"Did I just…did I just spit in your eye?"

"Um, maybe just a little, but its fine, really."

"Fuck me… Edward, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine I swear."

"Edward I spit in your eye after yelling at you and telling you to leave. You shouldn't be okay with that."

"Okay so maybe I could do without the spitting part but I have to say the rest of it was pretty good."

"_Uh-huh_."

"I'm serious. It's not everyday that I have the opportunity to know that someone is interested in me solely based on who I am and not even care what I look like. And then to also find out that you do find me 'insanely gorgeous' but you were willing to turn that down for a chance to be with me. It really couldn't have worked out much better."

"Oh sure, for you maybe. All it did for me was serve as extreme humiliation..… You know I've imagined how it was going to be the first time we met over and over again in my mind. A hundred different times and a hundred different ways but I never could have predicted that it would've turned out like this."

"Technically the first time we met was last weekend when you crashed into me holding your um….. nevermind."

"Oh lord. Your friends must have thought I was such an idiot."

"They didn't and neither did I. Though I can't wait to tell Carlisle and Esme that _you'r_e penis girl."

"That was your aunt and uncle!"

"Yes, but don't worry Esme was sure that you didn't have a real penis."

"Just Esme?" I asked completely mortified right before Edward lifted his hand to caress my now very warm cheek.

"I was hoping that I'd get to see that blush of yours." I thought my heart was going to come through my chest when he touched me. I wanted to say some thing but I was afraid that if I opened my mouth that I'd probably just vomit on him. So I kept my mouth shut and we just stared at each other, his hand still on my face.

"You look stunning." He whispered finally breaking the silence.

"Thank you."

"And just for the record when I first saw you I thought that you were insanely gorgeous too."

"Until I thrust my penis at you."

"Even then. Believe it or not, had I not been holding out for someone else I would have asked you for your number."

"Someone else?"

"You see I've been talking to this amazing woman on the phone for several weeks and she is more important to me than a shot with some insanely gorgeous girl."

"She's pretty lucky."

"I think I'm the lucky one, even if she did spit in my eye."

"Way to ruin the moment…Would you like to come in?"

"I would." I opened the door wider so Edward could pass.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Sure, whatever you have is fine." I went into the kitchen and Edward started to follow me but stopped when he reached the collage of pictures I had on the walls. I watched as he studied them with a smile on his face.

After getting us both a drink I walked over to where he was standing. His eyes where focused on a picture of Emmett throwing me into a lake from the dock.

"When was that picture taken?"

"About a year ago at Priest Lake."

"Let me guess….this is Emmett?"

"Very good."

"So that would make this Rosalie, and those two Jasper and Alice?"

"Yep."

"I feel like I know them all already with all the stories you've told me about them though Alice does not look at all like I expected her to."

"And what did you expect?"

"I don't know, I had pictured her much… taller?"

"I don't know anyone shorter than Alice, except maybe James."

"James?"

"Bachelor number 3."

"You know, I'm kind of offended that Alice didn't try to set me up with you. She did have the perfect opportunity last week."

"I thought she did obviously, but maybe she meant it when she said she would stop."

"Do you think it will last?"

"At least for the moment but you never know with her."

"I guess that means that I will just have to make sure I'm around more often….You know, just to keep any unwanted men away."

"That may be a full time job, Alice talks to a lot of people."

"I'm definitely up for it."

All too soon it was time to leave if we didn't want to be late for the wedding. Edward led me out to his car that was parked behind mine in the driveway. I noticed that he eyed my truck for a minute before opening the passenger door for me.

"The Thing?" He asked nodding his head in the direction of my truck.

"Yep." I watched as he smiled while walking around to the driver's side. He climbed in and turned to look at me as he started the engine.

"Which way?" I gave him the directions and we pulled up to the church at 4:30. Edward tried to open the door for me but I was too fast and was already getting out before he could.

"Are we meeting your friends before we go in?"

"No, I'm sure they'll find us later." As we made it inside I realized the ushers were seating people. I let a couple cut in front of us so we didn't have to get seated by Tyler.

"Bride or groom?" An usher who was obviously related to Ben asked.

"Bride." I stated and the sound of my voice caused Tyler's head to turn towards me suddenly. He made eye contact with me for a second before I turned my attention back to the man that was gesturing for us to follow him.

We were seated in the middle of the church next to Angela's aunt Fanny. I'd only met her one time at the bridal shower but it was hard to forget her. She was wearing a hat unlike anything I've ever seen. It could only be described as a hideous monstrosity made out of long gray feathers that wrapped around her head.

I hoped she planned on taking it off or the people several rows behind her were not going to be able to see a thing. I was about to say hello when I felt Edward lean towards me and whisper in my ear.

"Should I be worried about that guy back there?"

"What guy?"

"The guy who looked like he wanted to rip my head off right before we were being seated."

"Absolutely not."

"Good, because he's on his way over now." Sure enough when I looked up I saw Tyler approaching us.

"Bella."

"Tyler." I didn't offer anything more since that last thing I wanted was for him to stay and talk. He got the hint after standing there in awkward silence for a minute before heading to the back of the church.

"Tyler as in the ex-boyfriend?" He asked and I nodded. He didn't say anything more but he looked back towards where Tyler was standing. I looked around to see that the church was filling up and most everyone was seated. It was nearly five and the wedding was going to be starting any minute.

Out of nowhere a balled up tissue lands in my lap. I looked down at it as did Edward. He was just about to say something when another one went sailing by me and beaned him in the forehead.

"I'd say someone is trying to get your attention." He nodded in the direction where another tissue was being thrown from. In the pew two rows back sat Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett. Both Rose and Alice were giving me that 'What The Fuck?' look and I just shrugged. Emmett was trying to say something but I couldn't understand him. I whisper-yelled 'What?' to him but that just grabbed Fanny's attention.

"Oh hello dear." I don't think she was trying to yell but she must have been hard of hearing because everyone in a five foot radius turned to look in our direction.

"Hi Aunt Fanny."

"It's so nice to see you again." She grabbed my hands between hers sort of shaking them. I watched as she eyed Edward.

"And who is this young man?" She was still yelling.

"This is Edward." I glanced around to see a few people still staring though most of them turned back to their own conversations.

"Edward, aren't you a handsome one." I looked over to see Edward's cheeks turn a slight pink.

"Thank you." He said. Fanny engaged me in some stimulating conversation about her arthritis acting up again before she turned her attention to the woman on her other side. I heard Edward chuckle a little and I looked up to see what he was laughing at when I saw that he was looking behind us at my friends. A red faced Emmett looked down quickly and I raised my eyebrow in question to Edward.

He was about to answer me but the music started and all conversations stopped. The bridesmaids were all wearing the same style of dress but in different colors. Not really thinking it through I leaned over to Edward and whispered how I like the idea and would do something like that for my wedding.

Of course Angela was beautiful. Her dress was elegant yet simple. I noticed that Edward peered at me from the corner of his eye when she walked by. Luckily the ceremony was short and we seemed to be dismissed by rows. The crowd was pretty large and people were filing out so we just went with the flow. The hotel that the reception was at wasn't very far so we decided to walk. Edward reached for my hand and held it on the way over.

We walked into the reception hall and it was beautifully decorated. There were at least 25 maybe 30 tables. I glanced at the name cards until I found ours. Of course we were seated with the rest of the gang. I thought about switching our names with those at the table next to us but my thoughts were interrupted when I looked up to see them walking in the door.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked Edward motioning to the bar off to the side of the dance floor.

"Sure." As soon as I placed my order with the bartender Edward leaned in close to me again. I was really beginning to like the close proximity.

"Going for the hard stuff already?"

"Don't forget I'm going to have to face the Spanish inquisition once we get back to the table."

"Will it really be that bad?"

"They'll probably be just as bad with you so you might want to have something a little stronger than that."

"Not a chance, I need to be in complete control of my actions tonight."

"And why's that?"

"Emmett's a big guy." Was all he offered. With my 7 & 7 in one hand and Edward in the other we made our way back to the table which was now full.

"Hello Bella."

"Hey Rose."

"I'm Rosalie; it's nice to meet you….."

"Edward. And it's nice to meet you too."

"Edward this is Emmett, Alice, and Jasper." It was clear that they recognized him from last weekend. At least Rose and Alice did. I think Emmett was still trying to figure it out and Jasper was completely oblivious.

I was surprised that the conversation was void of any interrogation. They did ask Edward questions about himself but didn't ask any regarding our relationship. They asked about his job, his interests, and things like that but never anything pertaining to how we met or what was going on between us.

Edward seemed relaxed around them. They guys talked sports and things while Alice and Rosalie kept somewhat quiet while they observed the two of us. They paid attention to they way we held hands. They watched as we sometimes got caught up in our own world, but I think it was dinner that had tipped the scales. The waiter's came out and started pouring champagne and started serving dinner.

I'd never been to a wedding before that wasn't a buffet so this was different. I looked at my plate and grimaced at the smoked salmon. Even the _smell_ of fish makes me gag. Without a word I looked up just as Edward exchanged my salmon for his asparagus along with half of his rice. That earned raised eyebrows from everyone. Edward and I had recently had a long discussion on food preferences. He was surprised that I had lived in the Pacific NW all of my life and couldn't stand fish. Shortly after we finished eating both Alice and Rosalie excused themselves to go to the bathroom.

"Bella?" I sighed. I stood up.

"If I'm not back in 10 minutes come look for me." Edward chuckled. As soon as we were in the bathroom both Alice and Rose turned on me.

"Insanely gorgeous guy Bella?"

"Yes he is insanely gorgeous."

"You know what I mean; he's the same guy from last weekend?"

"Yes."

"You two seem incredibly familiar with each other to have just met last weekend."

"Um well, we uh."

"You've met before?" Rosalie shrieked.

"Not technically."

"Just spit it out Bella, when did you meet Edward and why is this the first time we've heard about this." I told them the whole story. They listened without interrupting and waited until I was finished before they broke out into laughter.

"Shit Bella, he must really like you."

"I hope so."

"If today didn't scare him off I really don't think anything will."

"Thanks." I said sarcastically.

"Really Bella, I can see how much he likes you and I can see how much you like him. I'm happy for you. I just wish you would have told us about him before."

"I know and I'm sorry but under the circumstances I just didn't think it was a good idea." Alice looked down.

"I'm sorry."

"I know, let's get back before they send out the search party." As we walked back to the table I could see the three guys talking and laughing before a little girl who couldn't be more that seven or eight years old asked Edward to dance.

"He's a good guy Bella." Emmett said as we sat down.

"Yeah, he is." I said but kept my eye on the dance floor where Edward was now spinning the little girl.


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own twilight.

Chapter 9

Edward made his way back to our table after he escorted the little girl back to hers.

"Would you like to dance?"

"I'd love to."

"That was really sweet of you, to dance with that little girl."

"Yes, Katie was quite the dance partner but, as it turns out she was just using me."

"Using you how?"

"It seems she was just trying to make some other guy jealous."

"Are you serious?"

"I am, she told me all about it. Apparently Garrett, the kid in the blue shirt, whom she is totally in to by the way, turned her down when she asked him dance stating that he was way too old to dance with a 9 year old."

"I see."

"I mean he is 11 after all so she decided to prove a point."

"And that's when she asked you to dance?"

"Apparently I'm the best looking old but not _too_ old guy here. Her words not mine."

"I have to agree with her. You are pretty adorable."

"Adorable? Bella guys don't like to be told they're adorable."

"No?"

"No, adorable is reserved for….kittens, and…you know, babies... obviously I am neither."

"So I really shouldn't say that you thinking kittens and babies are adorable makes you even that much more adorable?"

"No, you shouldn't."

"Okay so what would you prefer?"

"Something much more manly."

"Alright then how about macho or beefcake - ish."

"Perhaps something from this decade."

"Hmmmm…..handsome?"

"That's a good start."

"Sexy?"

"Even better."

"Tyler."

"Tyler? I think I would prefer adorable."

"May I cut in?" Tyler asked and Edward turned quickly in his direction.

"No thanks."

"Come on Bella, just one dance."

"She said no."

"Tyler, go dance with your wife."

"I just need to talk with you for a minute."

"I really don't have anything to say to you and honestly I don't care what you have to say to me so if you'll excuse us." We turned our backs to him and continued our dance.

"Sorry about that."

"It's not your fault beautiful." Just then the song ended and the DJ started to say something about the bouquet toss and I hastily made my way out of sight, hiding behind a pillar to avoid being drug out there by Alice and Rose.

"Hiding out?" Edward had whispered to me as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Yes." I said as I covered his hands with mine. I looked up behind me to see Edward smiling down at me. He looked at me as though he might want to kiss me. As my heart pounded in my chest I willed him to lean in closer. I swear he started to but then he thought better of it. He nodded in the direction of the ladies ready to pounce as soon as the flowers were released into the air behind Angela.

"I take it your not in any hurry to be the next bride then?" I turned my head back reluctantly to see all the single ladies dive for the bouquet hoping to be the one to catch it.

"Not if it means going head to head with that group. I'm sure the only thing I would end up with is a concussion anyway." I said as I watched two ladies playing tug of war while falling to the ground. Later on we said goodbye to everyone and walked back to Edward's car.

"Would you like to come in?" I blurted out without thinking of how Edward might interpret what I had said. He smiled before quickly exiting the car. He nearly tripped as he tried to race around to open my door for me again, so I let him.

"M'lady." He offered me his hand.

"Thank you kind sir." Again he didn't let go of my hand as we walked towards the house. I unlocked the door and turned on the lights immediately kicking off my shoes. My feet were killing me. I watched as Edward took his jacket off and loosened his tie. He unbuttoned the top bottom and I internally chanted for him to keep going but unfortunately, he didn't.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure." He followed me into the kitchen.

"Pepsi, beer, or lemonade?" I asked while looking through the fridge.

"Pepsi." I took out two sodas along with the artichoke dip I had made yesterday. I stuck it in the microwave for a minute. I handed Edward a bag of chips and we made our way back to the living room. I was pretty hungry since I didn't eat a whole lot at the wedding. We took a seat on the couch sitting fairly close together. Our legs were nearly touching and I was getting a little worked up.

"This is really good Bella." Edward said taking a bite of the chips and dip.

"Thanks, I got the recipe from Rose. We don't have it often since Emmett is allergic to artichokes and he always complains that the garlic makes our breath stink." I laughed a little before realizing that thanks to my own stupidity I had just eliminated any chance of kissing Edward tonight. I noticed how he also stopped eating. Maybe I could just sneak away to brush my teeth.

"Thanks for coming with me tonight."

"I'm glad you invited me, I had a really great time Bella."

"Even with meeting my crazy friends and putting up with Tyler's evil eye all night?"

"Tyler doesn't bother me and I really like your friends."

"Really?"

"Yeah, in fact Emmett and Jasper invited me to the game with them next weekend." That shocked me; I mean they said they liked Edward. I just didn't expect them to start their own friendship with him especially since our relationship was so new. Hmmm. Relationship? I felt like awkward asking Edward to define us at this point but I mean we have been talking for, what feels like a lifetime, only if it has been a month or so. But he certainly didn't seem opposed to the idea since I practically declared that I wanted a chance with him.

I'm definitely going to see Rosalie tomorrow; I need an unbiased opinion. Not that she would let me get out of it even if I wanted to. I snapped out of my musings to see Edward's face start to morph into a nervous worry.

"Unless you'd rather I didn't?" Shit.

"Of course not! I think that's a great idea."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." I bit my lip as I stared at him getting lost in his eyes again. He started leaning in. Our lips touched. It was even better than I imagined. He pulled away and we stared at each other smiling like fools before we both leaned forward at the same time. _This_ kiss was a little awkward since we knocked our teeth together.

The embarrassment faded away as we continued to make out. Well not _make out_, make out but there was a lot of kissing and maybe a little over the clothes groping. Before I knew it I found myself leaning over him while he was practically lying down on the couch.

"I'm sor….." I started to say but he just pulled me to him as he sat us upright before he started kissing me again. Good Lord he tasted good. After what seemed like only minutes, I had to shift because my leg had fallen asleep and it was starting to become painful.

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"As much as I hate to go, I'm afraid I have to." I wasn' t not ready for him to leave quite yet. I hesitantly looked at the clock shocked to see that it was nearly three in the morning.

"Big plans for tomorrow?"

"Just work, I have to be in court first thing Monday morning and I have some work left to do unfortunately."

"You weren't kidding when you told me you work pretty much non-stop were you?"

"I'm afraid not, but since you are picking out my new career for me I shouldn't have that problem much longer." He smirked.

"That's true and all will be revealed soon."

"I'll call you tomorrow." He said kissing me once again before putting on his jacket and walking out the door. I stood there and watched as he got in his car and drove away. The next morning I was awoken to the sound of knocking at my front door. Ridiculously I had hoped that it was Edward. Instead I was greeted by a rather large bouquet of flowers being held by a rather small delivery guy. Seriously the kid looked like he was about to topple over. I took the flowers from him setting them on the table and finding the card.

'_I miss you already'_

I immediately called Edward.

"Hello?"

"The flowers are beautiful Edward, thank you."

"Not as beautiful as you."

"You wouldn't say that if you could see me now." My hair looked like a haystack, I had makeup smeared all over my face, and I had yet to brush my teeth.

"I wish I could."

"Me too."

"I'd sneak away but I'll be lucky to get everything done as it is."

"So you're in court all day tomorrow?"

"Yep and Tuesday as well."

"We're having beer and pizza night Wednesday. Do you think, um would you like to come?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

Both Rosalie and Alice came over shortly after I got off the phone with Edward and we spent the day analyzing and re-analyzing everything. According to them he is my perfect match. I particularly enjoyed it when Rose made a comment about how well I did finding him on my own. I didn't get a chance to talk with Edward very much over the next two days but Wednesday night he met me at my house and we drove to Alice's together. It was by far the best beer and pizza night I've ever had.

For the next week and a half, we talked everyday and saw each other when we could. Edward said something about not taking on any more new clients; I hoped he was seriously going to consider changing careers. He already seemed to be more relaxed just with that admission.

Thursday evening I hadn't heard from him yet but I knew it was a long day for him. Not wanting to disturb him if he was with a client I decided to call his home phone and let him know I was going to go have dinner with the gang. Not that I needed to necessarily but it was a last minute thing and I guess I just liked him to know where I was.

"Hello?" I was not expecting anyone to answer, especially not a woman. I pulled the phone away from my ear looking at the numbers as if they would tell me if I misdialed, it wouldn't be the first time after all.

"Hello?" She said again.

"Um, uh is Edward home?"

"No, he's not home from work yet. Can I take a message?"

"Oh um, yeah can you uh tell him that Bella called?" Not that I didn't trust Edward but my stomach was turning and I was sweating profusely trying to reason out why a woman was in his home answering his phone.

"Bella?"

"Yes."

"Oh Bella, how are you?"

"Um, fine? I guess?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry; I'm Esme, Edward's aunt." My relief was immediate and so was the guilt for what I was just thinking moments ago.

"Oh! Hello Esme. How are you?" She chuckled at my obvious change in demeanor.

"I'm fine; it's so nice to be able to talk with you. I've wanted to meet you for awhile now. I've heard so much about you from Edward that I feel like I know you already... In fact why don't you join Edward at our house for dinner next Saturday?"

"Um." I wasn't really sure what to say to that especially since Edward hadn't mentioned it.

"Be quiet Carlisle." I heard her say away from the phone.

"Bella?"

"I um I'm not sure, Edward hasn't invited me."

"I'm inviting you. Besides I'm sure Edward just hasn't gotten around to it yet. Please say you'll come.

"I don't…..um, al-alright."

"Good, we'll see you Saturday at 6:00."

"Uh, can I bring anything?"

"No need to bring a thing, just yourself." She chuckled and I heard some faint mumbling. Apparently Carlisle had a different opinion.

"Are you sure? I don't mind really. It's the least I can do."

"If you insist….. how about you bring the dessert?"

"I'd love to."

"It was nice talking with you but I'd better run, I have dinner on the stove, I swear if it wasn't for me Edward would never eat a home cooked meal."

"It was nice talking to you too, um see you next weekend."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Hello?"

"Hi beautiful, are you home?"

"I just walked in the door."

"Did you have a nice dinner?"

"It was good, how about you? I heard you got your Aunt cooking for you."

"Yeah she told me that you two had talked. I'm really sorry about that. You don't have to come next weekend if you don't want to. I can make up some excuse to tell Esme."

"Do you not want me to go?"

"Not in the way you're thinking Bella. Trust me I would love for you to meet Carlisle and Esme but I was just hoping to do it in a way that didn't involve Esme cooking."

"Clearly I'm missing something."

"I love Esme, really I do. She and Carlisle are two of the best people I know but the woman can not cook to save her life. She tries, but honestly I was just trying to save you from a bad case of indigestion."

"It can't be that bad."

"It is, if only you knew how grateful Carlisle is that you're bringing dessert. I've never seen a man look so happy in my life."

"What did she make for you tonight?"

"It looked like chicken but tasted like burnt pancakes." We talked for an hour or so before I started dozing off. Edward wished me a goodnight saying he'd talk to me tomorrow. I was really looking foward to Saturday. I was meeting Edward at his house at 5:30 then dinner at 6:00 and then back to Edward's place afterwards.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Fancy bra and matching panties? Check

Super sexy but not slutty dress? Check

Directions to Edward's place? Check

Gas in the truck? Check, Check. (I filled up this morning.)

Dessert that I made to bring with me to Carlisle and Esme's house tonight? In the fridge.

"You look great Bella." Rosalie said. I told her about my dinner with Edward's family. She and Alice both came over with a handful of outfits for me to borrow if necessary. I wanted to look especially good tonight. We spent the a couple hours trying on different options and different ways to style my hair. I know it was a bit over the top but I really wanted to make a good impression.

Walking out of my bedroom and into the living room I was assaulted with a horrible smell. It was like I was just hit in the face with a sock from the men's locker room at the gym. Then I realized Emmett must be here. I knew he and Rose were heading out to dinner right after this so he was just going to meet her here instead of backtracking to their place.

"No!" I heard Alice gasp loudly from the kitchen.

"What?" Emmett mumbled.

"Emmett what the hell?"

No no no no no no. I ran into the kitchen. My eyes frozen on Emmett.

"My dessert." I squeaked out.

"This is really good Bells." He said with his mouth full.

I _was_ running right on time, but thanks to fucking Emmett and his stupid fucking stomach I now had to pick up something at the grocery store hoping it could be considered a decent dessert.

It was a hard choice between the overly flavorless yet fancily frosted and kinda squished white cake, (not my favorite and I just couldn't do that to Carlisle if in fact Esme's cooking was as bad as Edward make it out to be), a too small pumpkin pie or the German chocolate cake with the words 'Congratulations Jimmy' written on it along with a huge football and some goal posts.

Fucking hell. I was just about to reach for Jimmy's cake with the plan to scrap off as much of the design I could when a woman walked by with a pretty nice looking pie.

"Excuse me." She stopped and looked over to me.

"Where did you get that?" I pointed to the dessert in her cart.

"Right over there." She pointed to another dessert case that I seemed to have missed.

"Thank you." I said nearly running to the other case. Thank you thank you thank you.

There were cheesecakes and chocolate cream pies galore. Grabbing one of each I made my way up to the check out counter. The line couldn't have been longer. The cashier was a teenage boy who was doing nothing more than staring at the teenage girl in the next isle over. The woman who was trying to get her last few items rung up cleared her throat then mentioned she was in a hurry. Yeah me too lady.

Finally, FINALLY I'm next in line. The woman in front of me has only one thing to buy. But it was taking twice as long for her to purchase the tube of denture cream than the woman with a cart full of things that was before her. She has the money in her hand and is ready to hand it to the kid.

"That will be 2.59." He tells her. In slow motion she starts reaching her hand out to him. I look at my watch. I have seven minutes left or I would be late. And meeting the aunt and uncle of my probable boyfriend would not look good.

Hurry the fuck up.

"Oh wait a minute, I have a coupon." The old bat pulls her money back and reaches into the purse that was large enough to hide a body in. I tap my fingers loudly as she searches and searches.

"I could have sworn I had it in here." She mutters. I'm about ready to just pay for the damn cream it myself just to get out of here when she suddenly declares that she found it. The kid scans the coupon only it doesn't work. He tries again two more times before examining it closer.

"I'm sorry ma'am but this coupon expired."

"Well young man I cut it out of today's paper." The kid takes another look. He looks as if he's unsure of what to do.

"Uh, just let me call my manager." He pages the manager and 2 minutes and 8 seconds later another kid who doesn't look to be any older than check out boy asks what was needed. Even though the coupon is clearly expired, gramma keeps pushing it until the manager finally gives in.

"That makes your total $2.49." Check out boy says. 10 fucking cents? All of that for 10 fucking cents. I had to snap my fingers to regain his attention as he was watching check out girl smile at him. I paid for my desserts and ran to the truck. I drive too fast to Edwards and arrive at 5:45.

"I'm sorry I'm late but you won't believe what happened. Fucking Emmett ate my dessert. The fucker had the nerve to sit there with his mouth full and tell me how good it was. So I had to stop by the store on my way here."

"Don't worry honey; I'm sure anything you have will be appreciated." He kissed me briefly on the lips. We got in this car and luckily the drive was short. We even got there a few minutes early.

"I want to apologize in advance." Edward turned in his seat to face me. He actually looked a little worried.

"For what?"

"Carlisle called and said the original menu was chicken and baked potatoes but it seemed to have gotten morphed into a loaf of some sort."

"Oh well, I'm sure it will be fine."

"I don't think it will be but in any case he stashed an extra bottle of Pepto Bismol in the guest bathroom behind some alka seltzer. He said to make sure you knew it was okay to use."

I didn't answer but nodded. He took the bag with the desserts and led me to the front door.

"Ready?"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

My phone beeped again most likely another message from Emmett apologizing again for ruining my dessert. I know he felt terrible when Rosalie told him what it was supposed to have been for. Knowing that they were going straight to dinner I didn't think I needed to explain that this was off limits, but I should have known better. Emmett raiding my fridge is a normal occurrence. I reached into my purse and finally just turned it off.

"As I'll ever be." I responded to Edward's question.

He opened the door and walked in like he owned the place. Maybe it's a family thing, remembering both his aunt and uncle were at his home, cooking dinner and answering his phone without him even being there like it was perfectly normal. No one seemed to notice us at first. Carlisle was opening some windows as Esme stood underneath the smoke detector with a broom trying to silence the ear shattering beeping. I looked to Edward as he looked to me giving me the 'I'm sorry but this is not anything new' sort of look.

"Piece of shit smoke detector." Esme yelled ramming the handle into the middle of the device over and over again. Carlisle turned in our direction as if he was going to open the door next. A huge smile appeared on his face. He looked back at his wife but her focus was elsewhere and he walked over to us.

"Edward, Bella. I'm so glad you could make it." He semi-yelled to us. I was about to return the greeting when he held his finger up and walked back to Esme.

"I swear Carlisle; this thing is so sensitive." With one final whack the beeping stopped.

"Esme, Edward and Bella are here." She whipped around rather quickly then handed the broom to her husband.

"Edward." She gave him a quick hug. As she pulled away I noticed flour in the shape of Esme's hand was left on Edward's shirt.

"Bella." She gave me a hug too. "I'm so glad you came!" She pulled back and gave me a huge smile.

"Thank you for inviting me." I couldn't help but smile back. She made it seem like we were old friends, I liked her immediately.

"I've wanted to meet you from the minute Edward told us about you." Before I had a chance to respond Edward held the bag with our desserts out.

"Where would you like these Esme?" Carlisle stepped a little closer to inspect the contents of the bag, a smile lighting his face.

"Oh put them in the fridge dear." Carlisle followed Edward into the kitchen practically drooling after him.

"You have a lovely home." I said looking around the room.

"Would you like a tour?"

"I'd love one." We started on the main floor; the house seemed much bigger on the inside. It had the basics: kitchen, living room, dining room as well as the guest bathroom, I noticed that the medicine cabinet was slightly ajar and wondered if Carlisle did that on purpose so I would be able to find the things he stashed there in case Esme's cooking didn't agree with my stomach.

Next were two rooms that had a connecting inner door. I wondered what the rooms where originally used for but Esme informed me that they use them for their 'at home' offices. Esme quickly slipped into 'stealthy' mode, she looked back into the hall quickly as if checking to make sure the coast was clear before closing the door and turning back to me.

"Would you like to see some pictures?" Her voice was much quieter than it was a few moments ago.

"Yes, please." I sat in the chair she indicated to and watched as she pulled another one around next to mine before taking some photo albums from the shelf. She sat down and opened the album and shifted it so we both had a good view. The first few pictures were actually of her and Carlisle and they looked to be very young.

"I met Carlisle my freshman year in college and this picture was actually taken on our first date, he took me to a carnival and we found one of those photo booths."

"You both look so happy." I could read the emotions in their eyes quite easily.

"I swear it was love at first sight." She smiled. The cool thing was that they still held the same look for each other in all of the pictures, even the ones that were obviously pretty recent.

"I can believe it." She turned the page and there was a picture of Edward. He had a graduation cap and gown on, Esme stood next to him looking extremely proud.

"Edward is different." The statement was a little confusing and she must have been able to tell by the expression on my face that I had no idea what she was talking about.

"He's happy." She continued.

"Being happy is different?"

"I'm afraid so. He had a tough time growing up. Honestly I don't know how he turned out as well as he did. His parents….. I swear I could just kill them, both of them. Senior has always been incredibly hard on him. No matter what Edward did it was never good enough for that man." She was scowling clearly lost in thought.

"What about his mother?"

"She might as well not even have been there. She never stood up to her husband for the way he treated their son. I know he can be intimidating but." Esme seems to talk with her hands. Her arms were flailing about and her was voice was becoming louder but she stopped herself from finishing her sentence.

"I'm sorry, anyway I couldn't have been happier when Edward called us and said he wanted to move to Seattle. Carlisle was literally jumping up and down complete with a fist pump." She smiled again and I giggled while the image she just described flashed in my mind.

"It's too bad he didn't make the move sooner."

"I think it has a lot to do with you." Huh?

"That he didn't move sooner?" I questioned, she wasn't making any sense.

"Sorry, no. I meant that he's happy now and I think that has a lot to do with you. You've been a very good influence on him Bella."

"I don't think I can take the credit for that. I mean we only started talking a couple of months ago." She started laughing.

"Yes, that will be quite the story to tell the grandkids about." I wonder if Esme's been drinking. She looked at me and patted my knee when I didn't respond and put her focus back on the pictures. There were quite a few of a very young and completely adorable Edward and thanks to Esme mentioning grandkids I couldn't help but wonder what Edward's kids would look like. I….I think she did that on purpose.

"How long have you been living in Seattle?" I asked forcing the image out of my head.

"We moved out here when Edward was about 10. It broke our hearts to leave him but Carlisle had recently graduated Medical School and had received an incredible offer and my family is from Tacoma and my father had been very ill so we couldn't pass it up." She turned the page one last time before smiling.

"He was about three here. This one was during his naked phase; no matter how hard we tried we just couldn't keep clothes on that boy." The only incriminating picture might have been one where you could see his naked back side as he ran away from someone holding out clothes for him.

"Esme, I thought we agreed." Edward's voice went up an octave or two as he rushed in and swiftly took the album and shoved it back into its place on the bookshelf. He quickly ushered us out of the room stating that dinner was ready.

"I hope you like chicken; Edward said you were okay with anything besides fish." Esme said as she placed 'the loaf' down in the middle of the table. Now normally here is when I would make a comment about how good the food looks or smells but I hesitated thinking she would be able to see right through my lies since it was obviously burnt and the room still smelled slightly of smoke.

"I love chicken thank you, I'm sure it will be delicious." Charlie and Renee would be proud. The salad looked and actually tasted good as well as the French bread. I was beginning to think that perhaps Edward and Carlisle were just exaggerating.

"I've been dying to try out this new recipe." I helped myself to the chicken loaf. At least I wouldn't have to worry about it not being cooked all the way through. Trying not to cringe at the memory of Eric's tainted meat I took my first bite.

I had no words. This was….oh lord I reached for the glass of water in front of me. I took a big drink suddenly wishing that I would have taken Carlisle up on his offer of something else to drink. Something that might mask the awful taste in my mouth. I looked up to see Edward mouth the word 'sorry' while his hand covertly covered it from Esme's view.

Conversation flowed easily. In fact we all talked so much it was hard to eat at the same time and I realized this may be one of Carlisle's tactics. They both asked me about myself but as it turns out there was little that they didn't already know since Edward seemed to have already filled them in. I continued to eat what was on my plate. Too spicy burnt chicken interspersed with undercooked potato chunks. I knew there was more in there than that, but it was unidentifiable. Some array of spices and something else with the consistency of cottage cheese perhaps.

"Would anyone care for seconds?" Esme asked and I briefly considered taking some more, simply because she was so kind and went to so much trouble. Luckily Carlisle interjected.

"Why don't we save room for dessert? I'm sure you can send the leftovers home with Edward, it could be a nice lunch for him tomorrow." I could tell he must be practiced at this and often pawned off his dinner leftovers to Edward who probably dumped them as soon as he got home. How can she not know that this isn't any good, I wondered to myself. She didn't seem to be effected by it as everyone else had been. There has to be something wrong, I wonder if maybe she doesn't have any taste buds. That will be something to google later on.

"I'd like to apologize for the desserts." Carlisle looked at me like I was nuts. "I had actually made something for tonight but my friend Emmett got to it before I did so I picked these up on the way over."

"These are more than fine Bella; you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."

"It was no trouble really; maybe I can try it again and have you both over for dinner." Esme smiled and Carlisle choked on his drink while answering right away.

"We'd love to." After we finished eating I started to clear the table.

"Bella, sweetie don't worry about the dishes, we'll take care of them. You and Edward can go relax for a while." She smiled again.

"Good idea, maybe I can finish giving you the tour." Edward said grabbing my hand and pulled me towards the stairs. As we were on our way up we passed by a collage similar to ones that I have of my friends and I, only these were all of Edward doing varies actives at various ages.

"I think you've probably seen enough pictures of me." He kept pulling and I wondered what his rush was.

"Come on Edward you were so adorable."

"Were? As in past tense?"

"Yes were, and still are." I winked at him. He turned back and headed up the rest of the stairs in front of me giving me a very nice view. We reached the top and Edward pulled me into the room directly ahead, it was like I stepped back in time.

A poster of baseball star Sammy Sosa and Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky were located on the wall directly in front of me. As I continue to look around I catch a glimpse of what appears to be as Sports Illustrated Swim Suit model on the inside door of his closet. I think he notices that I notice and he discreetly steps in front of the door and pushes it closed so the busty brunette can no longer be seen.

Turning to the left I spotted a Nirvana and an autographed Pearl Jam poster. Edward informed me that Carlisle had taken him to see them in concert along with backstage passes when he was here one summer and was able to get them to sign it. The bed was a single and pushed up against the wall. A TV and many game consoles including an original Nintendo were on the opposite side. I looked over to see Edward kick his bedroom door closed, and then look at me with a wicked glint in his eye.

"Come here." For some reason his voice seemed even more sexy than usual. I quickly obeyed and he kissed me while slyly backing us up until my legs hit the edge of the bed. I'm not sure if it was me and I just lost my balance or if it was Edward's intention but I fell backwards onto his bed pulling him with me. I got a little lost in what we were doing until I suddenly remembered where we were.

"Edward, we can't do this here, this is your childhood bedroom and Carlisle and Esme are right down….." I said but he stopped my rant with his mouth kissing me one more time before pulling back.

"It was only my bedroom during the summertime." He said as if that would somehow negate the fact that his family is one floor below.

"Edward." He chuckles at my tone.

"Sorry, I actually didn't mean to attack you like that. I really only wanted a kiss, I just couldn't wait any longer."

"I know how you feel." And I did, I could barely stand it myself.

"Ready?" He asked standing up and offering me his hand. We started for the door but stopped when we heard voices coming for the other side.

"Hot damn, his door is closed." I could practically hear the smirk Carlisle was most likely sporting.

"Shhhh. They're going to hear you."

"Don't worry, they're probably too busy to notice." I can hear them both laughing trying to keep it quiet.

"Let's leave them be." I couldn't believe that they think we are actually...doing something... in their home. I'm beginning to question if that is the type of persona I am putting off. No, it can't be. I mean, they must be just teasing us...right? We haven't been up here _that_ long and I know we kissed a little but they wouldn't think _that_...would they? And seemed to be okay with it? No, they're just teasing us, that's got to be it. I look to Edward to get his take but he is not looking at me he's looking down at the ground and his eyes are wide. I follow his line of sight and see that someone has just slide some condoms under the door. Fuck my life.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"They're just teasing us." I said with conviction willing it to be so but the look on Edward's face was making me doubtful.

"Edward, please tell me they're just teasing us."

"I, um…..yeah, um… yeah." He wasn't sure. Fuck. He looked at me, his face still slightly red; his eyes darted between me and the condoms on the floor. He took my hand and reached for the door knob.

"Just pretend we didn't see anything." This was his plan and I was going to go along with it because, let's face it 'Ignore it and it goes away' has been my motto on more than one occasion.

"Wait." I halted him as he was just about to step over them, the bright orange package with the words 'Rough Rider' caught my eye.

"The fuck?" I examined the package more closely. Under the 'Rough Rider' were the words 'Hot Passion' and 'warming lubricant.' I had no idea they made condoms like this. I guess I've been out of the loop for too long or maybe it was just because the local grocery store didn't carry much in the way of variety.

"Put these in your pocket." I handed both the Rough Rider and Tropical Banana flavored one to Edward. His eyes got wide as he got a better look at them.

"We can't just leave them on the floor." I explained. If we were just going to pretend the last few minutes didn't happen we couldn't leave them there.

"You're right, leave no evidence." He said, probably the lawyer in him talking, but I was more than pleased to know that we have similar ways of thinking. Edward pulled me reluctantly down the stairs and into the living room where Esme and Carlisle were sitting much too close.

A half nervous half awkward sort of sound came from the embarrassed man next to me gaining the attention of the two other people in the room.

"Finished already?" Esme's face was the picture of innocence but Carlisle couldn't hold it in and tried to disguise his laughter with coughing. He sounded more like a dying cow. Edward groaned.

"With the tour? Did you show Bella the master bath?" She turned to me then.

"Carlisle did the work himself. The tub has eight jets." She said sharing a not so discreet smile with her husband.

"That's pretty impressive." It sounded as awkward as I felt. I'm not sure if it was due to my embarrassment or if perhaps Esme's dinner was finally starting to digest but I was suddenly excusing myself to use the bathroom.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and my face was bright red and I was sweating ever so slightly. I splashed some water on my face cooling me down a bit. Knowing that I was more than likely going to be staying with Edward tonight I certainly didn't want to chance an upset stomach, so I did, in fact open the bright pink bottle, silently thanking Carlisle.

Luckily there was also some mouthwash in the cabinet. Unfortunately there was barely any left in the bottle but I didn't want Edward to be able to smell and or taste any remnants of Pepto Bismol if he were to kiss me anytime soon. That would definitely squash any romance. I put the now empty bottle of Listerine back in the cabinet and opened the bathroom door.

As I made my way down the hall I paused to hear a semi-hushed conversation. I felt much more confident re-entering the room after hearing the extraordinarily nice things both Carlisle and Esme were saying about me. We didn't stay long after that. I exchanged numbers with Esme as we were going to plan a night for them to come to dinner. Edward opened my door for me and reached for my hand as soon as he got in the car.

"I'm sorry." I think he was serious.

"Sorry? For what?"

"The whole, you know…that didn't….. scare you off?"

"Was it supposed to?"

"What? No! Of course not. I just can't believe that…. happened."

"You do realize that I've done way worse things to you, right?"

"Are you sure? Because having your pseudo parents slip fruit flavored condoms under your childhood bedroom door, giving the green light to have sex with your girlfriend in their home on the first meeting is not what I'd consider better than a case of drunken calling and mistaken identity."

"Well, when you put it that way." I'm glad he seemed to have forgotten about the whole eye spitting incident.

"Lord."

"I'm kidding Edward. Honestly you were right; they are two of the best people I've ever met."

"You're not just saying that?"

"No, I'm not."

"Thank you, and as you heard they really like you too."

"As I…., what?"

"Your hiding spot wasn't all that hidden."

"Ohhhh no."

"It's okay; they said they liked you before we spotted you in the mirror."

"Just fucking kill me now."

"Nah, I happen to like having you around."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I'm sorry, really I'm sorry. I'm good now, I promise." Rosalie closed her eyes while blowing air out of her mouth and waving her hands in front of her face. She was desperately trying to compose herself. As soon as she calmed down enough to start speaking, she tried again.

"Sorry, tell me again. They just slid it under the door?" She was losing it. Her lips were pressed tightly together.

"Yes."

"What did you do then?" Alice wasn't in much better shape.

"What could we do? We pretended like it didn't happen." Tears were coming out of her eyes as she was sputtering.

"What did you do with the condoms?"

"We took them." I noted the surprised look on Rose's face. "Well we couldn't very well leave them there….you know, get rid of the evidence and all that."

"So you did you use them?"

"What? No, of course not."

"I'm not talking about at his parent's house I meant later. You did spend the night at Edward's didn't you?"

"They're his aunt and uncle not his parents."

"Semantics. What about the condoms?"

"What condoms?" Emmett bounded into the room.

"Bella and Edward had sex last night."

"I didn't say that." I said but not before Emmett dropped the loaf of bread he had just taken from the counter.

"La la la la la la." I looked up to see him cringing while he covered his ears walking back out of the room.

"Stop it Rose, look what you're doing to Em."

"He'll live, the big baby…..So?" I don't say anything but I do blush. Not because I'm embarrassed this time but because the memory of last night is suddenly making me a little hot.

"You did!" Alice shouts a little too loudly as I can hear Emmett trying to block us out again before the front door opens and closes.

"Yes."

"And?"

"And, it was incredible."

"And?" Rose asked this time.

"And that is about as detailed as I'm going to get."

"Oh come, I need more than that."

"I don't ask for the fine details of your sex life."

"I'd offer them to you if you want."

"No thanks, I'll pass."

"At least tell us if he's bigger than." Alice started but luckily my phone rang. Charlie's name flashed on the screen. Nope I'd rather listen to Alice and Rosalie. I hit ignore.

"Charlie again?"

"How'd you know?"

"I'm your best friend." She said tapping her forehead. That was just weird. They started drilling me on my night with Edward again. I did share some details like he was slow and loving. I told them how I did have an orgasm, four times in all. There were no 'I love you's' spoken, even though I really had to restrain myself. I'm still not sure what to do about that.

I left out the more personal as well as the somewhat awkward moments. Like when I dropped my purse on the ground and the extra pair of underwear and some condoms fell out at his feet.

I had decided that I may need a few….personal items. I transferred everything to my big purse so I could put in some necessities, my toothbrush, some make up for the morning, as well as the aforementioned clean pair of underwear, and condoms.

I knew that Edward probably had some as well. During one of our many talks we discussed birth control. Don't ask me how we got on that conversation, though I think it was right after he told me about his high school girlfriend's pregnancy scare.

It turned out she wasn't pregnant after all but he's been extremely cautious ever since. We talked about number of partners and the things that go along with that. Long story short, I'm not on any sort of birth control at the moment, and I wasn't going to take any chances. He did have some by the way, none as fancy as the 'Rough Rider' that his aunt and uncle apparently stock.

I also left out the details of our first attempt. And while I didn't lie about the four orgasms, I didn't think they needed to know our first try didn't go as planned.

How it might have been the combination of Edward being slightly larger than normal, coupled with the fact that it's been a while for me (So long in fact that my friends had dubbed me the born again virgin) it took a few tries before he was able to get it in all the way.

Also that was Edward's first time in quite a while. Needless to say it was much quicker than the other times we shared later on that night. So much so that I wasn't able to fake one convincingly. I felt bad that he was embarrassed and I tired desperately to reassure him that it didn't matter.

It was definitely a side of Edward I hadn't seen before. This was more than the normal embarrassment. I think he was even a little ashamed. The look on his face actually broke my heart. Arms suddenly wrapping around my waist startled me.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I was expecting him meet me at my house later on.

"I heard you were here."

"Couldn't stay away huh?"

"Nope, I can't. I'm afraid you're stuck with me now." A loud Emmett sized throat was cleared before we pulled apart.

"We're not staying. I just forgot my wallet in my rush to get out of here this morning." Emmett said as Edward brushed my cheek with his hand.

"Come on Romeo, we have things to do and we still need to pick up Jasper." With one more kiss goodbye they were gone. They didn't say where they were going but we knew.

"What do you think Edward is going to get you?"

"I have no idea but I'm just glad that our first gift giving day fell on him." My birthday was coming up.

"It's easier to buy presents for girls than guys; he shouldn't have too much trouble."

"I know! There are only so many things that you can really get for a guy. I mean how many ties and bottles of cologne does one man need?" That seems to be all I ever get for Charlie. Well I gave up on the ties when I was about 14 and switched to baseball caps. He never wore the ties.

"Speaking of things you buy for Charlie, how long are you going to avoid his call?" Alice asked, she always helped me pick out presents for him. Actually our dads could be twins since we always bought two of everything.

"I thought I might try a new approach this year."

"Oh?"

"I figured if I don't answer his call until my actual birthday, that it might help him remember for next year." For the last seven years Charlie hasn't been able to remember my birthday date. He knows approximately when it is, so he's usually never more than five days off, but still.

It was obvious that my mother was the one that had reminded him but she gave that up the year they got divorced. My mom moved to Florida and my dad got re-married. I felt abandoned by both of them. I realize that I was going off to college that year anyway so it should have been easier but it wasn't.

I see my mom maybe once a year and that is if I fly out to see her. And my dad, well let's just say that he's a little pre-occupied with Sue and her kids. I do hear from him a lot more than my mom but when my old bedroom was given to Leah, who does not like me by the way, I just don't really feel all that comfortable going home anymore. I'm sure that might be a little petty but it wouldn't hurt him to drive out to see me once in a while either.

"You'd think just by the laws of chance he'd get it right one of these times."

"Well this is obviously not my year." I sighed.

"So what did you decide to do?"

"I'm not sure yet. I was thinking about dinner out and then maybe the Thirsty Lion." It was the rule that whose ever birthday it was got to pick whatever it is we do. Literally anything. Some years are more subdued, and others have been pretty adventurous especially when Emmett joined our group.

"Ah yes, where the magic all started." I scoffed a little, sure if you call a few shots and twice as many 7 & 7's magic. I guess in a way, they were.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Usually I enjoy my birthday week. Cards start rolling in from distant relatives. Some I know and others I know I've never met. My facebook page starts notifying me of all the birthday greetings from my friends. Granted some of which I can't figure out why they would have even requested me in the first place but it's nice all the same.

I even look forward to the present Renee sends me each year. Sometimes they are useful and other times just amusing. Charlie sends me a check for fifty dollars. It's the same every year with him but I'm certainly not going to turn it down.

Fucking Charlie. My planned had failed. It turns out that my passive aggressive behavior towards him regarding my birthday backfired on me. I don't know why these things couldn't just be easy for once. When I walked into work Wednesday morning, everything seemed fine.

That is until I reached my office. Two giant happy birthday balloons were tied to the chair. Streamers hanging from the corners and a Happy Birthday banner hanging across the back wall. There were also two cards and a small gift wrapped box that sat on my keyboard.

I recognized Charlie's handwriting immediately. I opened the card; it was a simple happy birthday message. I think he figured the less he wrote the less he could get wrong. Sometimes I wonder if he even knew how old I was.

'Happy Birthday Bella' love, Charlie, Sue, Leah, and Seth. PS. I've been trying to call you. You're phone must not be working or something; anyway I saw Jake over at Billy's last weekend and figured he could drop this stuff off for me.

So Jake was the culprit. Not that it was his fault but I really wish he would have skipped the decorations; instead my office looks like a clown threw up. It's just a little embarrassing especially since half the people here know that my birthday is not for another two days, my boss included who just walked by looking at me with narrowed eyes.

My check was there like always but the present was unexpected. I opened the small box. Earrings….huh. They were pretty, not something that I thought Sue would pick out but then again I didn't know her all that well. I opened the next card and discovered it was from Jake. 'Happy Birthday Bella, I hope you let me take you out later for a birthday drink to celebrate – Jake'. I avoided him for the rest of the day.

When I got home from work there was a box from UPS. I didn't need to check to know it was from Renee. After opening it I was very glad that I was alone. There were many self help books. 'How to boost your self esteem.' 'Career advancement for dummies' _thanks mom_. 'He's gone, now what?' 'How to find your g-spot' and the follow up to that one 'How to get the most out of self pleasure.'

'Hey, I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of.' I heard David Cassidy's song coming from my purse. I think Emmett is starting to rub off on Rosalie. I knew she was messing with my phone last night even though she denied it. I didn't even have to look, though I did anyway. 'Lover boy' flashed across the screen.

"Hey." I sounded like a dreamy teenager.

"Hey beautiful, what are you up to?"

"Not much, I just opened my present from Renee."

"Whatcha get?"

"A bunch of self help books."

"What does she think you need help with?"

"I don't think you'd want to know."

"No, I do want to know."

"I don't want to tell you."

"Keeping secrets from me already?"

"You're the secret keeper."

"Birthday presents don't count."

"They should."

"No way, I was sworn not to tell you anything before we even got started. You know, Emmett takes his gift giving very seriously."

"Oh I know, I've been shopping with him before. You should see him at Christmas time, it's kind of scary."

"I can only imagine."

"You won't have to this year, I'm sure he'll draft you again."

"So you plan on keeping me around that long?"

"If you're good."

"I'll be good."

"I'm counting on it."

"Would it be okay if I spent the night tonight?"

"You didn't ask for permission last night."

"I didn't think I needed to, you did drag me to your bedroom. I thought it was a given."

"You don't need to ask, your welcome here anytime."

"You might regret saying that, what if I decide to never leave?"

"That's a chance I'll have to take."

"Good, open the door, I'm outside."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I thought I had taken more than enough precautions in avoiding Jake. I sent him a 'thank you for the card' email last night before I left work. I kept my door closed. I made sure not to drink too much so I wouldn't have to risk getting caught on my way to the bathroom.

It wasn't until my phone buzzed with a message that Edward was on his way up did I open my office door. The minute I did I saw Jake. Had he been waiting for me? I couldn't imagine so, I mean my door had been closed all day; surely it was just a coincidence. I started to close it again quickly but not quickly enough.

"Hi Bella, I was hoping I'd get a chance to see you."

"Oh, hey Jake." I wondered if he could detect my defeated tone, I didn't think so judging by the size of his smile.

"I'm glad you like the earrings." He pointed to the ones I was wearing, the ones I got yester...day.

"Earrings?"

"Yeah." He said without moving his lips before taking a huge step towards me as he reached up to touch them. Oh fuck.

"But…..but I thought that they were from Sue."

"Oh, uh nope, they're from me." His face fell. He dropped his hand but didn't move away so I took a step backwards banging my head against an open file cabinet drawer while doing so.

"Jake, that was very thoughtful of you but." He stopped me as I started to take them out of my ears. I couldn't accept them, nor could I give them back after I'd worn them, damn it.

I wish I knew what the protocol for something like this was. But now more than ever I was sure there _was_ no protocol for something like this because it could only happen to me. Maybe it was the price I had to pay for meeting Edward. A lifetime of uncomfortable situations to offset my good fortune at being with him.

"Please, Bella, I want you to have them. I wouldn't have bought them for you otherwise, besides they look beautiful on you." A knock on my open office door grabbed our attention.

There was Edward, staring, eyebrows furrowed...in a suit. I don't know what it is but I love men in suits. Or maybe just this man but he looked even better than he had at the wedding. It was his tie I think. Emerald green against black, and with his eyes, I may have been drooling, where was that rough rider when you needed it.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting?"

"That's not what you were wearing this morning." I blurted out, rather loudly even gaining the attention of passersby out in the hall. I closed my eyes and dropped my head in shame.

"I uh, got dressed after you'd left." He was smug. I think he kind of enjoyed that. He walked further into my office coming to stand by me. He shut the drawer to the file cabinet that was still open and kissed my head where I had hit it.

"Um, Edward this is Jacob Black, Jake this is Edward Cullen." I didn't think it was necessary to add on the boyfriend part after my obvious faux pax.

"Oh, right. Charlie's friends' kid, nice to meet you." Edward said with a false sense of familiarity, but I wasn't going to say anything. From now on I should just keep my mouth shut since it has become apparent that my brain shuts down at random intervals. He reached around my back and placed his hand on my hip. Jake on the other hand looked a little sick.

"You too, I'll see you later Bella." He said. His voice cracked. _Cracked!_

"Fucking hell, I think I made him cry." I started to walk after him but Edward stopped me.

"He's not crying, I think he's just embarrassed."

"His voice cracked Edward, that's a sure sign."

"Maybe for girls…or prepubescent boys." He laughed; I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"The earrings weren't from Sue." I continued on.

"I know. I heard." He kissed my head again.

"I think he thought it meant something that I wore them."

"He probably did. But it wasn't your fault."

"I wouldn't have had I'd known."

"I know sweetheart."

"I feel bad."

"That's because you're a good person."

"A good person doesn't go around making other people cry! I should have asked, I should have known Sue wouldn't give me anything. She never has before."

"You couldn't have known. And he wasn't crying." I rolled my eyes as Edward chuckled. _He was sooo crying_.

"I can't give them back after I've worn them."

"We'll figure out what to do, it'll be okay." _MmmmHmm_.

"Then I had to go and imply that we were _together_ this morning."

"We were."

"I shouldn't have said it in front of him."

"That was more my doing, than yours."

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

"You didn't."

"He likes me, that had to have hurt."

"I know, but he'll be okay."

"Maybe I should go talk to him."

"He probably wants to be alone."

"I guess so."

"Come on, let's go have lunch." I sighed.

I didn't eat much but after deciding that I would just pay Jake for the earrings I felt a little bit better. I took down the decorations in my office. I had decided to take tomorrow off as a personal day. I figured why not. My company has a 'use it or lose' it policy so it was my birthday present to myself.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Edward was acting…strange. I couldn't quite pin point it but there was definitely something going on. He seemed…I don't know, slightly on edge which was weird because he was fine this afternoon. The Jake incident didn't seem to faze him at all and it wasn't until we climbed into bed that he got unusually quiet.

"Are you okay?" I asked when he was deep in thought, he didn't hear me.

"Edward?"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?

"Yeah, I'm fine…..I'm good, really good." Obviously he wasn't. I didn't think there was anything wrong per say but there was something up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing, just ya know, um stuff." I figured he would be nervous about his job if that is what he meant by 'stuff'. He was about to become an unemployed lawyer fairly soon. I think this change, even though it was what he wanted, was a little nerve wracking for him.

We had talked long and hard…..I giggled to myself at the image that flashed into my head…sorry yes we had a long discussion over his change in career. I think Edward was a little surprised at how much he liked the idea I had come up with.

I have to say I think I did a pretty damn good job determining that he would be the perfect teacher. It also didn't hurt that this would mean a lot more time off than he was used to. Maybe he could even spend some of the summer break with Carlisle and Esme like he had done as a kid.

As we discussed things he made his fear known that all he knew was law. It had been drilled into his head since the time he was born and didn't leave much room for anything else, not to mention it was the area in which he felt the most comfortable because he knew it so well. In the end becoming a professor and teaching law to college level students was an idea that he ended up loving. In fact he had a meeting next week so he could find out exactly what becoming a law professor would entail.

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, you know, stuff, things um going on."

"Things?"

"Yeah, you know…..things."

"Okay honey, you let me know when you're ready to talk." Obviously it wasn't now. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. He was silent for a long time and I was nearly asleep when he rubbed his hand up and down my back.

"Bella?" He asked quietly as if he didn't want to wake me.

"Hmmm?"

"I" I waited but he didn't say anything more. I tilted my head up and opened one eye giving me a nice view of his jaw. Another minute passed so I propped my head up on my hand and watched as he was biting his lip.

"Yeah?" He looked over to me quickly as if I had startled him.

"I just wanted to tell you that um…...Bella, I…..I….." And without another word Edward was kissing me. He was very successful in distracting me from whatever it was he was trying say.

"Bella?" He tried again several minutes later.

"Yeah?" I watched as his eyes darted over to the clock.

"Happy Birthday." I looked over and in fact it was officially my birthday. The clock read 12:07am. Was this what was troubling him?

"Thank you." I cuddled closer.

"Do you want to open your presents?"

"I can have them now?" I sat up quickly.

"If you want, um it is technically your birthday and all or you can wait."

"No, now is good." He got out of bed and came back with a medium sized box and set it on my lap.

"Go ahead." He said making a similar noise to the one that he had made at Carlisle and Esme's. It must mean he's nervous. As I slowly unwrapped the gift I saw that it was a jewelry box. It was beautiful. He had put some thought into this. Right now I was using a shoebox I kept in a drawer.

"Oh Edward, it's beautiful." He smiled.

"Open it." As I did the sound of Clair de Lune started playing. I can't believe he remembered. It was one of our very first real conversations. I told him how much that song meant to me. It held some of the best memories I have of my childhood with my mother.

"You remembered." He brushed the hair away from my face and kissed away me tears.

"I remember everything you tell me." I think he actually meant that too. I reached over to kiss him.

"There's more." I looked more closely and there was a smaller box inside. It was small like a ring box but I knew it wasn't. It was much flatter but clearly jewelry. I opened it slowly much to Edward's dismay. He looked slightly pale as I pulled out the necklace. The chain was silver with a small platinum and diamond incrusted key. I'd never seen anything like it before. I was speechless.

"Would it be incredibly cheesy of me to say that you hold the key to my heart?" I smiled and shook my head no.

"Good, because it's true." He took the necklace out of my hands and moved it along with the jewelry box to the nightstand before reaching for me.

"Bella, I can't even put to words the feelings I have for you. I've never felt this way about anyone or anything before and I can't tell you how thankful I am for that night when you dialed my number instead of Mike's." He stared at me for another minute before taking a deep breath.

"You know me better than anyone, and you are exactly right for me. I hope you know how much you mean to me."

"I feel the same way about you Edward." He smiled and if I'm not mistaken I spotted a tear that he had quickly wiped away. Yes my man is sensitive and it's my favorite thing about him.

"Bella, I love you." My heart took off like it was on fire.

"I love you too." _Best birthday ever_.

xoxo

"What'll it be ladies?" The bartender asked us.

"I'll get the first round." Rose said placing our orders.

"Seven and seven, tequila sunrise, bourbon sour, and what do you want Esme?"

"Oh whatever you girls are having is fine; they all taste the same to me." She smiled.

I knew it! This bit of information was definitely going in the mental file for my damaged taste buds theory. I didn't hear what Rose ended up getting Esme or exactly what the kind of shots she got for us but we found a table for four up front.

We were having a great time, the guys were going to be meeting us here later on something about Carlisle and Emmett having to work later than the rest of us. I am so glad that I thought to invite both Carlisle and Esme. The smile on Edward's face as he heard me on the phone would have been worth it in itself but I also really wanted the girls to meet Esme, and she was fitting in perfectly.

"Nine." Alice announced.

"Really? That guy?"

"Oooooh, nine and a half."

"But that's the same guy as last time." I tried to explain. They weren't listening. Don't ask me how but somewhere between the third and forth rounds we started rating the guys in this place.

"It's totally a different one, the other guy had on white jeans."

"Exactly! So does that guy and last time he only got a five between the two of you."

"That's white jeans guy." Rose pointed to a guy at the table to our left. "And that's beige slacks guy." Indicating to the man in question. They looked the same to me. In fact they could be twins. Really I'm not sure they aren't the same person. I explained my theory but when I was accused of having drunken too much I deflected.

"Who the hell where's white jeans anyway?"

"Hey! I have some."

"You do?"

"Yeah, though they're more Capri like but white jeans just the same."

"Those _are_ really cute, but what I meant was, what kind of _guy_ wears white jeans?"

"Carlisle used to have a pair." Esme is snickering. "He only had them for a few weeks before he fell in a mud puddle trying to show off. Apparently they never looked the same after that."

"Jasper tried wearing padded bike shorts underneath his baseball uniform in high school so he'd look bigger." Alice blurted out suddenly then covered her mouth with her hand.

"T.M.I."

"Shit, don't tell him I told you that."

"I can't believe that _he_ told you that. That's not the kind of information one should be proud of, and or sharing." _Padded bike shorts? I can't imagine that even working, shouldn't it have been a sock or something like that?_

"It wasn't him, it was Peter. He shared quite a bit about Jasper when he was visiting."

"Oooh, what else?"

"Um, he used to shave his legs."

"That's not so bad; don't swimmers and whatnot shave their legs?"

"Emmett tried waxing once."

"Emmett waxed his legs?"

"Not his legs." She said and I quirked an eyebrow as did Esme. Hers is much more impressive than mine.

"It was right after I'd accidently gotten that Brazilian wax."

"Accidently?" Esme asked.

"I had made myself an appointment for a standard bikini wax at the salon down the street from my house. When I got there the receptionist was talking on the phone and it was clearly a personal call but I stood there waiting thinking she would wrap it up once she saw me.

I was already having a bad day and after waiting for 10 minutes I may have told her to get off her phone and help the customers or something to that affect. Anyway as I was filling out the form saying what I wanted done and the entire time the bitch kept giving me dirty looks.

I think she tampered with it because I came out of there with a brazilin. Anyway Em really liked it and thought he'd, you know, return the favor."

"By getting a brazilian wax?"

"Do they even do that for guys?"

"This place did, though I can't imagine they get that many guys wanting that done."

"When did this happen?"

"About a year and a half ago. Remember? He couldn't sit down for days."

"Oh I remember but I thought it was because he had... hemorrhoids or something." Alice said.

"And on that note I'm going to the bathroom."

"Don't go yet, or you'll be in and out of there all night." Another weird drinking rule that makes absolutely no sense yet is somehow true.

"I've been holding it since before we got here." I stood up and made my way to the bathrooms in the back corner of the bar. I hate going in any public restrooms to be honest and with the exception of gas stations, bars always seemed to have the worst. Once I was at a place were the bathroom line was so long that some girls actually started peeing in the sink. True story! I couldn't believe it and needless to say I never went back there.

Walking in the door I noticed a faint but rather disgusting smell. Not all that uncommon I guess. Luckily the line wasn't too long but there where only two stalls. One big one and one much much smaller. Child size really by the looks of it. I decided that I would hold out for the bigger one especially when I saw that the door to the small one opened inwardly.

When I was the next person in line and no one had come out of the big bathroom I decided to peak under the door to see if anyone was in there. I remembered to gather my hair up so it didn't drag on the floor while I was bent over.

I did that once and 'Ew' having your hair drag along a dirty bathroom floor was pretty disgusting in my book. As soon as I realized there were no feet in this stall I opened the door only to be assaulted by the sight of a plugged up toilet. Completely plugged up. I turned around quickly and exited the stall only to see someone else had come in.

"Don't go in there." I warned the women who thought I was finished using it. "It's plugged up pretty badly." I explained. She looked disgusted for a moment and I realized that she probably thought it was me that did it. She walked into the other one and I had to wait even longer. Finally! I stepped towards the bathroom. See lady? I still haven't gone yet.

There was no way I was going to be getting out of here unharmed. In order to get in here and then get the door closed you had to either be the size of Alice or come in awfully close contact with the toilet. Oh Lord, I think my pant leg brushed up against it. And they were my favorite pair of jeans too. Shit!

I go to lock the door only to find it broken. I close it the best I can, it seems to be staying put. I curse myself for not leaving my purse at the table. That's basic rule number 1. Well actually someone from my group should have come in with me for purse and/or door holding emergencies like this.

There's no hook and like I said I am not going to be putting anything on the ground in a public bathroom. Especially one were drunk people have a tendency to miss. Alright, what to do what to do? I contemplate going back out there to leave my purse but realize that I don't think I can hold it that long, especially if another line starts forming.

I tuck my purse under my arm and reach for the seat protectors. It's empty of course. I go for the toilet paper and make my own make-shift protector because you just don't know what kind of diseases you can catch from naked toilet seats. My mother's voice is ringing loudly in my head. Once I have every surface on the toilet covered I start to sit down.

Just as I'm about there I see that somehow part of my toilet paper fortress has blown onto the floor. Fucking hell! Alright squatting it is. I guess I've had more to drink than I thought; either that or I am in way worse shape than I had realized. My thighs are burning….badly. How long have I been in this position?

I reach for the toilet paper again and end up taking the last of it. I wonder if I should warn the next person as I'm leaving. I straighten up and the automatic flusher comes on. I lurch forward slightly not wanting to get caught in the spray and start to lose my balance. In order to catch myself before I hit my head on the door I reach up with my hands forgetting about my purse which is now falling to the ground.

I stare at it in disgust and disbelief forgetting all about the 17 second rule. I'm not sure how we came up with 17 seconds when we were kids but somehow that seemed to be the magic number. In the minds of under 10 year olds it takes at least 17 seconds before whatever it is that hits the ground becomes infected. Not that it matters because it has been at least that long.

I pick my purse up touching as little of it as possible. It takes another few minutes to get any soap to come out of the dispensers because they too have an automatic sensor, I only get one partial squirt but it enough to get the job done. Vacating the bathroom I decide not to drink anymore tonight because I sure as hell don't want to go through that again.

"I'm going to have to burn my jeans." I say.

"That bad?" Rose asks and cringes at the same time. She's a germophobe like me. I tell the whole story and get mostly sympathetic looks in between a few snorts of laughter. Esme hands me some antibacterial wipes she carries around with her.

"What are you doing?" I hear Edward's voice. I didn't see them come in.

"Disinfecting my purse." I say after kissing him hello. I work diligently to make sure I clean every exposed part of it. The guys watch in earnest as Esme explains that I dropped my purse on the bathroom floor leaving out the rest of the story. I smile at her in thanks.

We stay a while longer but I decide it's time to go somewhere else and get some food. I can do that –you know, call all the shots- since it's my birthday and I'm going to take advantage. Lord knows everyone else does, especially Emmett.

Speaking of which he hasn't announced the location for his party yet. His birthday is exactly 5 weeks after mine and I know this year he has planned a big one. We try and make sure that if there are any trips involved that we don't do them the same year.

"Hey Em, where's you're party going to be this year." I ask and he smiles. A big smile, a creepy smile.

"Vegas."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"What the hell is that?" I asked pointing to the extra large white van that had just pulled up in front of my house. We were supposed to be getting a mini van for the trip. Emmett thought it would be more fun if we drove to Vegas and it was definitely cheaper than the six of us flying.

Carlisle and Esme couldn't make the trip. He had a medical conference in Hawaii and Esme decided to go with him instead. Of course I couldn't blame her but with the size of the vehicle in front of me we could have fit them and several last minutes drop ins, seriously it could be a small bus.

"I could ask you the same question." Emmett said as he pointed at me.

"You know very well what this is." I said while adjusting my hat self consciously. When we were teenagers Alice and I had bought matching hats that we wore on our first big road trip together. We had driven from Forks to Seattle for the weekend.

We were 17 and it was the first time that we had been allowed to go without our parents. From that point on I'd always worn my traveling hat on every vacation. I had to admit its seen better days but I was not going to give it up, wearing it ensures we will have a great time.

"Of course I know what it is." He said pulling out his own traveling hat. We may or may not have infuenced the others to get one as well.

"I meant that I thought you were going to retire it after, you know." He lowered his voice and looked around as if to make sure we were alone even though everyone with the exception of Edward had been witness to the debacle.

"The Spring 2011 incident." He whispered.

"I decided against retiring it after all. It's amazing what a little bleach can do." Edward then came walking out of the house and I could see he wasn't even trying to hide his smile at the scene before him. The five of us all had on our hats, some more attractive than others, looking at him expectantly.

"Welcome to the club, man." Emmett held out a brand new hat in Edward's direction.

"Alright the trip is 1165.95 miles and 17 hours and 59 minutes. I figured that if we each take a three hour shift we'll be there in no time." Emmett is announcing as I struggle with my seatbelt. He's in the driver's seat and Rose is sitting shot gun while the rest of us are finding places to sit on the long bench like seats. Really there's enough room that we could each have an entire bench to ourselves which Jasper takes full advantage of and sprawls out wrapping his seatbelt loosely around his waist.

"Need some help?" Edward asks while taking the belt from my hand and instead of clicking into place he stretches it across both our laps and clicks it on the other side of him. Alice gives us the sideways glance while letting out a giggle.

We napped, stopped for food, and took numerous bathroom breaks before it was our turn up front. I watched the lights of the other cars pass us by as I took a sip of my drink. I glanced in the back to see the others all spread out asleep. Jasper and Alice had just finished their turns and Edward and I where the last to go. We'd been in the car for roughly thirteen hours but I'd been able to sleep through a lot of it.

"So, do I get to hear about the origin of the hat?" Edward whispered. And I tell him about how it all got started but didn't go into detail about why my hat looked the way it did.

"There are far too many stories to tell all of them in the short amount of time we have."

"Not enough time? We still have a few hours left."

"I know, but keep in mind this hat as seen nearly a decade of fun times."

"I've never seen you wear it before."

"It only makes an appearance for vacations. The wearer of the traveling hat will have a great time with great friends."

"Sounds like a fortune cookie."

"Yeah, yeah, but it's a tradition not to be messed with. Every single time I've worn it we've had an incredible time. And the one time I didn't sucked ass."

"So there was some sort of an oversight concerning the hat then or was it a conscious decision not to wear it?"

"Oh it was no oversight, but I'm 99.9% sure it was hidden from me on purpose. Tyler hated it and was embarrassed to be seen with me when I wore it. Anyways room reservations were lost, we missed our connecting flight and I discovered he had been cheating on me."

"Ahhhh, and you were engaged at the time?"

"Ugh, yeah."

"How far along were the wedding plans?"

"We had the date picked out, the church and reception hall were booked, and the 250 invitations ordered. I'm sure there were other things done as well but Mrs. Crowley had taken over the arrangements.

"Taken over?"

"I'm not really big on wedding planning so when she offered to help I was happy to let her but she took that to mean she got to choose whatever she wanted without even asking me what it was I wanted."

"So it's safe to say you wouldn't want a huge church wedding?"

"I'm not the huge church wedding type."

"I see…..well...what about the small wedding in Vegas type?"

"The what?"

"Hey guys." _Fucking_ Emmett.

"You have shit timing Em." I had turned in my seat to give him the evil eye. He had just interrupted what was sure to be a very interesting conversation.

"What was that Bells?" He seemed amused with my death glare.

"Nevermind."

"How far out are we?" Even though he was trying to whisper Emmett's loud voice woke the others up.

"Not far, we should be inside the city limits within the next couple hours." Was the last thing I heard before I became lost in my thoughts. The small wedding in Vegas type? Was he really asking me if that's what I wanted? As in..._ well, we're already here_ sort of a thing or was it more of a general question.

I'm sure it was the latter. He couldn't be thinking about us like that, I mean he barely was able to choke out that he loved me and that was only a few weeks ago. Surely he's not thinking about getting married, though I have been careful to hide some of my more neurotic qualities from him, so…...you never know.

Hmmm. Marrying Edward. Yes, definitely something I would like to do, of that I'm sure. I may have picked a dud to marry before i.e.: Tyler, but at least I learned something. And not only about what not to pick in a man but I learned a lot about myself in the process.

"You okay?" Edward squeezes my hand apparently hearing my sigh.

"I'm fine; I just didn't realize it was so damn hot here."

"It is hot, but at least the hotel will be air conditioned." Yeah unlike the van we were currently traveling in. Even so, I was kind of excited, it was my first time in Vegas and I wasn't really sure what to expect, outside of gambling that is.

"So what's the plan birthday boy?" Jasper asked as we found a place to park our oversized vehicle taking up more than one spot.

"How about we check in and meet back down in the lobby in a couple of hours." We agreed and started to our rooms. Jasper and Alice were about five doors down from me and Edward. But Rosalie and Emmett were on an entirely different floor.

Edward set the bags down on the bed and I inwardly cringed. Don't get me wrong, I used to do the same thing until I read somewhere that doing so would be the best way to transport any bed bugs back home. Not that this place necessary had bed bugs. It was a really nice hotel but you never know these days. So when Edward said he had to go talk to Jasper about something I didn't even ask what he could _possibly_ have to say to him that he didn't get around to over the last 18 hours.

I moved the suitcases off the bed and onto those little suitcase holders that are usually folded up in the closet. I did a check for bed bugs which luckily there weren't any. I went to look for my antibacterial wipes but realized I had only packed my mini Lysol can.

Damn, but what choice did I have. The same article about bed bugs had also made mention of the dirtiest things in hotel rooms. The one item that had more fecal matter then even a gas station bathroom floor was the remote control. Everyone that ever stays in any hotel room touches it, hundreds of non hand washing, after they go to the bathroom people apparently. Ew I shudder but it's seemingly not high on the cleaning list.

I mean the poor house cleaning staff should get some sort of an award for being able to clean the bathrooms of complete strangers on a regular basis. After a trauma like that I would just want to get out of there as soon as possible, not even considering something like a remote. And had I not read that article it never would have crossed my mind.

Trying to block out any thought I had of the years I didn't clean it, I make quick work of sanitizing the remote, the phone, and the door knobs before opening the window hoping to mask the smell of my Fresh Linen Lysol spray. Edward's still not back yet so I decide to take a quick shower.

I was hoping that he would have joined me when he got back to the room but when I realized this wasn't going to happen I turned the water off and wrapped myself in a towel before stepping out of the bathroom. I heard the key in the lock as Edward opened the door.

"Damn, I'm sorry I missed the shower."

"So am I."

"Well how about I make it up to you?"

"I was hoping you would." I drop the towel without even having the chance to completely dry off.

"You are so incredibly sexy." Edward is simultaneously trying to kiss me and take off his clothes.

"I'll be right back. Don't get dressed." He disappears into the bathroom and I hear the shower start. I walk to the other side of the room and…

"Oh lord." I had just pulled the covers back on our bed. The bed I had wanted nothing more than to crawl into only moments ago but was now the very last thing on my mind. Right there in the middle of the sheets was a hair.

And it wasn't mine. I think I'm going to be sick. Now I know that most people would be sensible about such a matter and just…remove it. It's only hair right? And it's not like it was in my food or anything.

No, only my bed. The bed I'm supposed to by lying in naked waiting for my incredibly sexy naked boyfriend. The germophobe in me wants to call for the maid to change the sheets to ones not tainted by random hair. But the person who is trying to be a lot less neurotic so this boyfriend doesn't run for the hills and into the arms of someone without such issues says to just man up.

I gathered several Kleenex making sure that there would be no chance of touching it with my bare hands. I stretch out my arm. My face is skewed up in disgust and I'm leaning away from the bed. I successfully remove the foreign hair and throw it away in the garbage. See? My sane side says. Problem solved.

"Hi." Edward walks out in a towel that looks like it's about to fall off any second.

"Hey." I'm still naked myself though since my hands were wet some of the Kleenex stuck to them and I'm subtlely trying to remove the tiny bits. Edward eyes the bed. What would he think of a stray hair? Should I warn him? Would he care? Would he think I'm crazy for freaking out about this? We're going to be naked though. Not in pajamas. Naked on a bed that had held an unknown hair moments ago.

"You're so beautiful." He's kissing my neck. His hands wrapping around my body. Mmmmm. He's pulling me towards the bed. I'm sure the sheets are clean. I mean the bed was made. That has to mean something. They're professionals. They wouldn't not change something as important as sheets.

"You okay?" He asks looking somewhat concerned.

"I'm fine." Maybe if we just use the part of the bed that was untainted. It's a big bed. I try and walk him around to the other side.

"You're sure?"

"Mmmhmm." I will not freak out over this. I will not freak out over this. He's pulling me with him as he's walking backwards ignoring my silent plea and it's near the bad side. Just get over it; it's not that big of a deal.

"Bella?" I look up in question to meet his confused face.

"Are you gagging?"

"What is the matter with me?"

"Oh sweetie, it's not that bad. He said he understood." Alice is trying to comfort me. She knew right away something was up when she saw my face. I can still feel the heat on my cheeks from when Edward hung the maid service sign on the door as Jasper and Alice joined us in the hall.

"I know, but how understanding can one man be? The things I put him through….my lord. This isn't normal."

"Nothing about your relationship is normal. Really, you don't have to worry, he's not going anywhere." Rosalie added.

"I guess not, on the drive up he asked me what I thought of a Vegas wedding." I'm trying really hard to focus on the positive side but the fact that he mentioned that before my episode is a little daunting.

Alice's eyes bug out slightly and Rosalie gets a strange and unreadable expression on her face. I was about to ask her about it when I see the guys heading over to the table which obviously eliminates that line of questioning.

We had found one of those all you can eat buffets. They had all sorts of food for pretty cheap, some things that I wouldn't even consider buffet food. I'm glad they have a huge variety because I can't see us being able to eat anywhere else since Emmett seems to be in heaven.

We eat and decide to walk the strip and see what it's like. The hotels are really impressive and they each have some sort of theme. We walk by countless wedding chapels and I watch as Rosalie's gaze lingers longer that what would seem necessary.

We went water skiing the next day in Lake Mead. Somehow I end up with a slight black eye. Of course my friends feel the need for extra pictures of that. It looks like I took an elbow to the face but honestly I'm not even really sure how it happened.

Later that night we hit the casino. Did you know that they give out free alcohol in these places? Free alcohol! How could I have not known this? The guys head over to play craps or something and the girls and I stay near the slot machines.

It's been a few hours and I've lost count of how many drinks I've had. There is a server that seems to cover this particular corner. I can't be sure but it seems he may be paying a little extra attention to me. I'm trying to ignore him and focus on my machine. I've moved on to the ones with the electronic poker. It seems I have a gift for 'Jacks or better'. I've just one 15 dollars before he comes around again.

"Can I get you another one?" I can't quite tell if he's just doing his job or if he's coming on a little strong. I look around and see Alice a few machines over but I don't see Rosalie anywhere.

"Sure, thanks." He's only gone for a minute and returns with my order.

"Looks like you're doing pretty well." He stands a little too close.

"Yeah."

"I'm James."

"Nice to meet you James." I say not offering my name. This isn't a normal practice I would assume. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable so I turn to look in the other direction.

"Hey Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna head over to see what the guys are up to. Wanna come?" She looks up and I throw my eyes in James' direction knowing she'll get the point.

"Just let me cash out." I walk over to her while James looks a little ticked off but sets his sights on a beautiful red head down another aisle and walks away. We make our way through the casino not really sure where we're going.

I text Rosalie but she doesn't respond as we wander. Everything looks the same and the exits are no where to be found and neither is anyone else we came with. Finally after circling for a good 20 minutes Alice spots Jasper. He and Edward are at the black jack table. The one that I know we've already passed by two or three times.

"Are you winning?" I look over Edward shoulder and lean over to kiss his cheek getting a strange look from the dealer so I back up a bit.

"Nope." He sets his cards down in front of him while the others keep playing.

"I just lost my last chip." He stands up next to me. "How'd you do?"

"I won fifteen dollars. You are looking at the electronic poker champion."

"I'm impressed."

"And not only that, did you know they give out free drinks here?"

"I did." I can tell he has been taking advantage because a now very bold Edward picks me up by the butt and shoves his tongue down my throat. I'm kinda liking it.

"We lost track of Rose, have you guys seen her?" Alice asks and I feel a little bad that I had temporarily forgotten the world around me.

"Emmett said something about a little 'special' time with her and left about an hour ago." Jasper says and I can't help but be a little grossed out by his choice of words.

"Are you guys hungry?"

"I could eat." I have no idea where I'm going so I just hold Edward's hand and let him be the navigator. He seems to find the exit without too much trouble and suddenly we're out in the lobby. We eat dinner at a regular restaurant which is kind of a nice change. We say goodnight to Alice and Jasper who decide to take a walk after dinner. And we decide to head back to our room.

Before we get to the elevators we walk by the wedding chapel just as two obviously drunk people walk in. We pause and watch them for a minute. It seems there's another wedding going on and they're going to have to wait. I wonder if one of them will re-think things in the mean time. It's kind of entertaining actually. I can imagine what the employees here must think watching this time and time again.

"You know, you never did answer my question." Edward whispers in my ear. Feeling slightly less intoxicated after eating I know exactly what question he's referring to.

"Well as long as I'd be marrying you I wouldn't really care where it was." And somehow his magical powers of getting me to tell him whatever is on my mind work in his favor.

"I'm sure you have some sort of preference."

"My only preference is in my choice of groom." I feel my heart rate pick up. I can't tell if he's serious because I know he'd been drinking too and let's face it, alcohol tends to make people say and do things they might not, under normal circumstances. And even though I'm sobering up I'm not 100 percent positive of his state of mind. He pulls back slightly lowering his head so we're eye to eye. He's stares very intently before speaking.

"And you're ready? Right now?" I'm about to answer when suddenly the doors to the chapel open up and out walk Emmett and Rosalie hand in hand and my eyes zero in on their wedding rings.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"So let me get this straight." Alice is pacing back and forth in the small space between the bed and wall before she stops abruptly pointing one of her stubby fingers right at Rose.

"_You_ are married." She said before turning her accusing finger on me.

"_You _were about to get married."

"And _I_ got bupkis." She's now pointing to herself and I notice that she must have gotten her nails done. I took a quick glance at my own and consider asking her where she went because mine aren't looking all that good at the moment. But now was probably not the best time to inquire so I kept my mouth shut. Alice sighed heavily and plopped down on the bed laying back staring up at the ceiling. Her hands were covering her face and I could barely make out her words.

"Both of your boyfriends ask you to marry them during our trip to the wedding capitol of the world?" Was that a rhetorical question I wondered as she sat up to face us again. Rose and I just look at each other. We're silent; deciding that maybe pleading the fifth would work in our favor.

Except that Rosalie just couldn't keep the smile off her face. She swiftly tries to cover it with her hand before looking down, as not to antagonize poor Alice. Though it was her left hand and her ring is so damn big that I think the smile would have been a lot less noticeable. I, on the other hand, managed to keep a somewhat blank look on my face but I'm afraid I might be biting my lower lip off.

"Jasper didn't say a word about marriage." She huffed and threw her hands up in the air. "Not one word!" We're both still silent but I think about informing her that she has always wanted a big fancy non-Vegas type of wedding, though I'm sure she's fully aware but perhaps just feeling a little left out. Then she stands up abruptly and moves in front of Rose.

"I can't believe I missed your wedding. How could you get married without us?" I think she's slightly hurt by it and I would have, at one point, maybe been on board with that line of thinking except for the fact Edward and I were about to do the same thing.

"I'm sorry; we didn't plan on it happening this way. It just sort of did."

"So, there was a plan then?" I wanted to hear this too. We hadn't gotten much of a chance to find out before. We'd been standing in front of the wedding chapel and as soon as the four of us made eye contact, we all kind of froze. Jasper and Alice walked onto the scene soon afterwards.

"Sort of. We've been throwing the subject around a bit ever since Angela's wedding."

"You have?"

"Not _seriously_ seriously but ya know…..yeah. So when we were walking by the jewelers Em pulled me in. He said it would be fun just to look, and then before I knew it he had me trying some on. And you know Em, he could tell just by looking at me that this was the one." She held out her hand to us so we could see it better. He was right, it was perfect for her.

"I barely had time to blink before he pulled out his credit card. He got down on one knee right there in the store and proposed."

"Ahhhh."

"I know, right? And then of course the chapel is just across the way…..and um, well…we just sort of….went…..in." She looked so incredibly happy that I threw my arms around her hugging her tightly.

"Congratulations Mrs. McCarty." I nearly cried and Alice joined in. We hadn't completely pulled apart when the door opened and the guys walked in with champagne in hand. We toasted the happy couple and managed to finish off a few of bottles but by the way Jasper was acting you would have thought he drank most of it by himself. I've never heard the phrase 'I love you guys' more than I did tonight. But then he went off on some tangent about how when he get's married it was going to be in some old civil war uniform or something.

Alice cringed and Edward had to hide his laughter in my neck. We decided it was time to leave and give the newlyweds time alone. Edward had to keep Jasper propped up along the lengthy walk back to our rooms. It took a while to get there but we made it and left a nearly passed out Jasper in the care of a thoroughly upset Alice. Me on the other hand, as soon as we got back to our own room, got undressed and followed my absolutely amazing boyfriend into the shower.

"Would you have gone through with it?" We're in bed now and Edward's arms are wrapped around me from behind. Knowing exactly what he was referring to I smiled to myself I'd been wondering how long it would take him to bring it up again. I turned around in his arms kissing his naked chest.

"Without a doubt."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah….you?"

"Without a doubt."

"That's good because I have to admit that I was a little worried it was the alcohol talking."

"Not at all. In fact, we still have another day and a half before we go home so there's still time."

"That's a very _very_ tempting offer Mr. Cullen."

"_You_ are very very tempting." He says and I roll my eyes.

"You're sure you don't want to wait? There are still quite a few things that you don't know about me." I feel a little better having said my fear aloud. Full disclosure and all.

"No, I don't want to wait. I already know everything about you, and I _love_ everything about you."

"I don't know, I've been told I can be too quirky and difficult to live with."

"Oh honey, that guy was an idiot."

"I won't disagree with that, but."

"There are no buts, and, I can prove it."

"How?"

"I made a list."

"You did not."

"I did."

"Let me see it then."

'It's right up here." He points to his head. "And in here." He then covers his heart before clearing his throat.

"I love how your expression gives away exactly what you're thinking. I love how kind, and completely generous you are. I love how you are fiercely loyal to the people you care about. I love your sense of humor. I love your passion and I love your sense of adventure.

I also love how you separate your M&M's by color before eating them. I love how you have to put socks on in order to sleep at night. I love how instead of just telling me you prefer the right side of the bed you let me have it only to end up sleeping on top of me.

I love how you talk to your plants when you water them. I love that you cry during sad movies, I love that you skip to the last chapter of a book just to make sure there's a happy ending before you read it. I love you how keep that rusted out old truck of yours because it holds one of the last happy memories of your parents together. I love how you know me better than I know myself.

I love how you effortlessly included Carlisle and Esme into your already tight knit group of friends. I love how you secretly add your share of the extra pizza into Carlisle's to-go bag. I love how you willingly sacrifice yourself on a regular and completely voluntary basis by eating Esme's cooking. And I love how you do that not only because you care about me but you care about her too. I love."

"Esme!"

"Yeah, but I wasn't done talking about you yet."

"Edward, we cant' get married without Esme being here. She'd be heartbroken."

"Shit."

"We can't do that to her." I said and Edward let out a growly sort of resigned moan.

"You're right."

"I know." I said feeling disappointed suddenly.

"I'm telling you right now I don't think I can wait very long."

"Me neither." We're both quiet for a while. Me? Well I was thinking about how incredible it will be to be Mrs. Edward Cullen. I'm hoping Edward is thinking the same thing.

"We could do it, you know."

"Do what?"

"We could get married….now….and then have another wedding later on."

"What?"

"It could just be us; no one would have to know."

"I'm not sure I can trust myself to keep something like that a secret. All it would take would be for someone to liquor me up and I'd start blabbing."

"I'll keep you in check, I promise." He says looking at me like his eyes have some sort of hypnotic powers. I'm pretty sure they do because I'm seriously considering saying yes.

"Hey Bells, its dad call me back when you get this."

"Bells, give me a call."

"Bella, call me."

"Isabella, its dad…. again, call me." These were the messages waiting for me when we got home. The first three were, but the last one was left yesterday. I admit it; I'm avoiding calling him back. I had told my mom about Edward a couple weeks ago when she called to ask me how I was enjoying the books she bought me for my birthday. She was surprised but happy I was seeing someone.

Charlie on the other hand, wasn't equally informed. Not that I was hiding it from him but every time I get involved with someone new he makes a point to try and have 'the talk'. _Are you being careful Bella? Use protection every time! Oral sex can transmit STD's just as easily as vaginal or anal. __Make sure he gets tested Bella. Ask to see the results for yourself. If you're not comfortable enough to talk about sex, you shouldn't be having it._

So you can see why I didn't have any desire for that to happen again anytime soon. I thought that maybe Renee had filled him in and he was going to embarrass us both again. So yeah I haven't called him back. Though it was going to be necessary very soon. Edward wasn't kidding about not wanting to wait. He practically went straight over to Carlisle and Esme's the minute we got back into town.

Esme had saved her great grandmother's engagement ring with every intention of passing it on to Edward. They were beyond thrilled of course and the ring, well, I almost passed out. I've never seen anything so unique and beautiful in my life. Esme managed to convince me that she couldn't be happier for me to have it. I felt a little weird about taking her family heirloom but she reminded me that we're family now and it would mean a lot to her.

Charlie called again and I made myself a promise to call him this weekend. Maybe I would conference call with Renee. That would be a good way to avoid any unnecessary topics of conversation. So it was Saturday morning and we were sleeping in. That's what most people do isn't it? At least everyone I know of. But it seems most people didn't include whoever was banging on my front door at…..8:47 in the morning.

"Who the hell is at the door at this hour?" Edward rubs his eyes before sitting up.

"I'll go find out." He says and I watch him climb out of bed. He pulled on his boxers though they didn't do much to hide his morning wood and he grabbed a t-shirt from off of the floor as he walked out of the bedroom.

"Who are you and where is my daughter?" I heard yelling. As quickly as I can, I find something to put on as I rush to throw myself between Edward and Charlie.

"Dad what are you doing here?" I literally squeeze myself in the small space Charlie has created between them. His nostrils are flaring and his face is nearly purple. He takes in my appearance and sucks in a deep breath.

"Shit Bella, what the fuck is going on?"

"Calm down dad." He doesn't say anything but turns behind him and tells Sue and her kids to wait here. Her eyes are as big as saucers. Seth is looking down at the ground and Leah has a nasty smirk on her face. Why the hell didn't I call him back sooner?

"Would you excuse us for a minute?" Charlie led me by the elbow away from Edward who was looking a little unsure. I tell him I'm fine and watch as he retreats to the bedroom before I turn to face my father.

"Who the hell is that guy?" He asks. I could have just called him and suffered through the awkward sex talk again. I could have made mention of Edward in an email.

"His name is Edward and he's my."

"What about Jake?" He interrupted and looked thoroughly confused. Maybe even more so than I'm feeling right now.

"Jake? What the fuck does he have to do with anything?"

"Alright look Bella, I wasn't going to get involved but I don't think I have a choice anymore…..Jake told me about you're little tiff."

"Tiff?" I ask, and he nods.

"Jake, as in Jake Black told you that we had a tiff?"

"Technically he told Billy and Billy told me."

"Shit, dad. Please tell me you're kidding."

"Well now, it's not as bad as all that. We were all there when Jake said he wanted to buy you a birthday present. He even asked Sue for some suggestions. He said you two were getting closer. I just assumed. So last week when Billy and I were out fishing I asked if he'd heard how you liked what Jake had given you. Billy said he wasn't sure but there was some sort of issue." I was going to have to murder Jake now. He left me no other option.

"So you came all this way to…not get involved?"

"Hells Bells, had you called me back I would have told you that we were planning a trip to Seattle and wanted to stop by and see you."

"Oh."

"Leah's going to some fancy school affair with Sam Uley." I hoped she got the talk too.

"And they didn't find any dresses in Port Angeles that she liked so I suggested Seattle. I thought it might be nice if we all came up and spent some time with you."

"Oh."

"So what's really going on?"

"For one, I'm not with Jake and never have been."

"Does he know that?"

"He should." I'm already dreading Monday.

"So….Edward?" He asks and I call for Edward to come and join us. He's wearing pants now and it looks like he brushed his hair.

"Dad, I'd like for you to meet my hus…uh fiancée Edward Cullen. Edward this is my father Charlie Swan."


	15. author's note

Sorry for the author's note but there seems to be quite a bit of confusion regarding whether or not Edward and Bella are married. The answer is yes. They decided to go ahead and do it then because it was something they both wanted.

They also decided to keep it a secret between the two of them and then share the special occasion with their friends and family later on. Bella slipped up with Charlie but quickly corrected herself in the last line of the chapter. Sorry if I didn't come across very clear.

On another note, I've received several pm's about strong dislike for certain characters and I wanted to explain why I have written them that way. Each of the characters in this story are based on people in my real life.

I've tried to keep as close as I can to the real life counterparts but of course this story is fiction so it does vary slightly, but I have lived through several of the things that have been written about. I hope that helps in understanding as to why they are the way they are.

Thanks for reading :)


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Jake. I can see him standing there, chatting it up with Montgomery. I can tell he's not really into their conversation. His smile is too forced as well as the laugh he just let out, most likely at one of Montgomery's inappropriate jokes.

I can also see new girl, standing off to the side looking a little unsure of what she should be doing. She doesn't like me. I'm not entirely sure why but I suspect it has something to do with Jessica or Jake. Either way she does not return my smiles when I see her and I have just about given up on any and all attempts to be nice.

"Good morning Bella."

"Morning Montgomery." And Montgomery is his first name. It seems he was named after his mother's maiden name which is kind of a cool idea really, but it sure is a mouthful to say. He won't let us give him a nickname either, believe me I've tried.

I wish _I_ had a cooler maiden name so that we could do that with our kid. Because there is no way that any baby of mine is going to be named Swan Cullen. And no, I'm not pregnant but at some point I plan to be, I mean who wouldn't want to have babies with Edward?

"Hi Jake." New girl calls out, bounces over and stands extremely close to him. He looks over to her and smiles but turns his attention back to me as I have now reached my office which is only a few feet from where they are all standing.

"Bella." He says with a nod and pushes off the wall he was leaning against as if he is going to follow me through my door. New girl gives me a once over and a slight glare that intensifies when I suddenly giggle. I didn't mean for it to slip out but the name Higginbotham Cullen had just popped into my head.

"Jake." I make sure to narrow my eyes remembering this past weekend with Charlie as well as try to appease new girl a little bit since her problem with me is now clear, but it appears that Jake doesn't know about my ire yet as he stumbles slightly at my tone and accompanying gaze. He looks a little mystified. He follows me into my office and closes the door behind him but not before telling new girl, who I overhear him call Nessie, that he'll talk to her later.

"How was your weekend? And what happened to your..." He points indicating to the still visible bump on my forehead.

"Eventful…Charlie, Sue and the kids were up." I answer but leave out the details of my minor injury. His eyes widen just slightly and I think I see a hint of moisture on his forehead, a clear indication that he knows where this is going.

"Oh?" He queries before taking a large drink from his styrofoam cup. I can see the teeth marks he has indented the entire rim with. I didn't realize they even made Styrofoam anymore.

"Uh-huh. It seems that Charlie is under the impression that we're dating." He chokes on his coffee and some spills onto his white dress shirt.

"Damn it, old man." He says under his breath and I'm not sure if he is referring to himself, Charlie, or Billy so I don't comment on it.

"So what's going on Jake, I know there was a misunderstanding with the earrings and I'm really sorry about that but." I pause feeling my cheeks warm. And I remember that I had made him cry before and suddenly I feel like I should be apologizing for that too. Lucky for me Jake speaks up before I have to say anything else.

"No Bella, I'm sorry…. Gah, this is so embarrassing, but um I may have mentioned to dad that I was interested in dating you. I didn't realize it at the time but I came to find out that it was sort of a life long dream of his or something. You know, his son and his best friends' daughter." His face is red and I'm officially done with feeling guilty and have moved on to being completely creeped out by the whole Black family now.

"He knows about the birthday present and I think he thought it was a given that we were together. He was practically picking out china patterns. When he asked me how it went I just told him that it didn't go as planned. I didn't say anything else so whatever he said to Charlie was just a figment of his imagination." He sounds sincere so I nod my head and tell him I understand and that it's all in the past and everything is fine. And it is, until….

"And with that being said, I can't help but think you should give me a chance."

"Jake." I say in a warning tone.

"I've already embarrassed myself thoroughly so, I might as well go all out."

"Please don't." _And I really mean that, for both our sakes, just shut the fuck up_.

"Pick me."

"Jake." My tone is now exasperated.

"Bella, I've liked you for a long time. Long before you started dating whats-his-name."

"Edward." I supply and he rolls his eyes.

"I'm just asking for one chance, just one date." I open my mouth to say no but he speaks again.

"Just think about it, I mean _really_ think about it."

"I'm not." He senses my answer and cuts me off with what I'm guessing is a lame reverse psychology move.

"Unless you're afraid."

"Afraid of what exactly?" The guy has lost it.

"You're afraid that you might have feelings for me." And now I'm about to laugh because really, that statement is completely laughable.

"That isn't it."

"Then give me one good reason why. Why won't you give me a chance?" His voice is loud now and so I react in kind.

"Because I'm happily married." I practically shout. I couldn't help it. He just made me so mad and I don't think anything less would get him to back off.

"Edward and I are married and I'm not going to be happy with anyone else. I'm sorry if you thought there was a chance for us but there's not." I have lowered my voice, thankful that the door is closed but still wondered if someone could have heard me. I do get pretty loud sometimes, or so I've been told.

"Oh, and if you could not mention that to Charlie just yet, I'd appreciate it." I say as I usher him out of my office.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"We need to have the wedding as soon as possible." I announce as I walk through the door. Edward is sitting at the dining room table with books spread about. He looks up at me and smiles before coming to greet me.

"I won't disagree."

"I didn't think you would."

"What's with the sudden urgency?"

"It's not at all sudden, but if you must know, I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. And it's all you're fault."

"How is your big mouth my fault?"

"You were supposed to be doing a better job of keeping me in line, remember."

"Oh no, I only promised to keep you in line if you started over sharing due to excessive drinking, I can not be held responsible for time spent away from me."

"Well then maybe we shouldn't spend anymore time apart."

"That sounds like a brilliant idea Mrs. Cullen."

"Well I am pretty brilliant."

"And don't forget modest. So who'd you spill the beans to?"

"Jake."

"Good."

"Not good."

"Definitely good."

"That's two now."

"Two's not so bad."

"Two in a week is bad Edward, considering they both know my father." I say reminding him of the incident that took place only a few days ago when Charlie and his family showed up unexpectedly.

"Dad, this is Edward Cullen, my fiancé."

"Fuckin..… Ow." Sue appeared out of no where and literally smacked Charlie on the back of the head.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Charles Theodore Swan, not in front of company." Her eyes are narrowed and she has one hand on her hip and the other one is reaching for his arm_. Company?_

"Excuse us." She smiles tightly and practically dragged him out the door closing it behind them. Edward just stares at me wide eyed before blinking a few times.

"You never told them _anything_ about me?" His eyebrows are near his hairline. I'm not sure why he is acting so surprised, he knows I've been avoiding Charlie's calls.

"I told you why I haven't. You don't know what he's like when he gets started."

"Somehow I have a feeling I'm gonna find out." Edward says and he's right. I wish there was someway to just fast forward the next few hours because I know they are going to fucking suck.

I sigh and nod my head in the direction that they just went. Edward stares at me for a moment, his eyes flicker to the door before he takes my hand. We move quietly and quickly not wanting to draw attention to ourselves but I didn't want to miss their conversation. We had just about gotten into place when the door comes flying open hitting me square in the forehead. Fucking hell. Edward cringes as I rub the spot that I'm fairly sure will be the size of an egg soon enough.

"Shit mom." Leah grumbled as she and Seth were being pushed through the door.

"Watch your mouth young lady." Sue scolds before shutting the door again. I watched as Leah rolled her eyes and went to sit on the couch. Seth's cheeks were red and he didn't make eye contact with either of us but he did follow suit when Edward and I put our ears up against the door.

"…..Your language in front of other people. No wonder why the kids have such dirty mouths."

"I'm not that bad."

"Not that bad? Bella swears like a sailor and Leah isn't far behind and it sure as heck isn't my influence."

"Well in this situation I."

"No Charlie, I will not have you embarrass me in front of Bella and…..um….crap what's this kids name?"

"Shit Sue, I don't know… Edwin or something and how can she possibly be engaged to a guy we've never even heard of before? And what the hell happened with Jake?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm telling you right now that you will be on your best behavior. He is important to Bella and therefore he is important to us."

"We don't even know him!"

"Well we're about to get to know him and you will not under any circumstances ask any inappropriate questions, do you hear me?"

"My questions are necessary."

"Necessary?" She screeched, and started speaking so fast all I could make out was Jake…physical…testing…mortified.

Seth chuckled under his breath and both Edward and I looked to him wondering if he had been witness to the event, it really wouldn't surprise me if he had. I saw the door knob move and the three of us step back quickly. I felt me forehead again and sure enough there was a bump forming.

"Sorry about that."

"No problem." I wasn't sure what to say and the room suddenly went quiet.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you guys back." I offer and both Sue and Charlie are looking at me as if they are trying to determine if the mark on my face had been there before or not.

"Its fine Bella, I'm sure you've been busy." She said looking to Edward.

"I have but I really should have called you back sooner. How long are you in Seattle for?"

"We're just spending the night tonight and heading back tomorrow." Charlie informs me before looking at Seth.

"Seth, get the bags from the car." Seth jumps up and takes the keys from Charlie. It happened so fast that I didn't have time to question them before he walks back into the house with a couple of sleeping bags and a small suitcase. I guess they're spending the night. I would have offered anyway… I think, but they should have waited for me to do so. I look over to see Leah on her phone texting and I see Sue has introduced herself to Edward since I have fallen down on the job.

"So tell us about yourself Edward." Sue asks. I hear Charlie mutter something about someone should since I seemed to have dropped the ball. I ignore him while Sue shoots off questions not letting Charlie get in on it. I'm not sure if she is truly interested in getting to know him or if it's just to stop Charlie from interrogating him to death. Either way I realize now that I should have given her a little more credit.

After an hour or so I decide that maybe making something to eat might be a good idea especially after I heard Seth's stomach growl for the third time. It doesn't take long before Charlie joins me in the kitchen.

"He seems like an okay guy." His voice is low and somewhat melancholy.

"He's more than okay dad."

"A lot of sudden changes in his life recently."

"I'm aware."

"Moving across the country, changing careers, estranged from his family and became in engaged. Those are some pretty big things to take place within a short period of time."

"The thing with his parents has been a long time coming, he moved out here to be close to the part of his family that supports him, he's changing careers because he was unhappy with his other one and yes we met and fell in love and are going to be getting married. What are you getting at?"

"I just want you both to be sure; you haven't known him very long Bell."

"I've known him long enough." I turn to face him and look him straight in the eyes.

"He's the one; I've never been more sure about anything."

"The one?" I can see he is somewhat skeptical.

"Yes, the one. The one who I will choose above everything and everyone else." I give him a pointed look. I watch as his cheeks fill up with air before he lets it out in one big gust.

"Okay, I just…I just want you to be happy."

"Edward makes me happy." He nods and is quiet for a while….too quiet and I know. I just know he wants to say something else.

"You're being safe though, right?"

Embarrassing sex talk…check.

Spending the afternoon with an overly talkative Sue and a grumpy Leah while she tries on prom dresses…check. I hope she gets 'the talk' too.

Text Edward every thirty minutes while I'm gone to make sure he's still alive…check.

We pulled up to the house and I practically ran in and was more than surprised to find that the three guys are laughing and seemingly having a great time. I observed quietly for awhile. Charlie was relaxed and friendly and Seth and Edward had somehow become bff's throughout the course of the day.

Huh.

It wasn't long before Sue and Dad where turning in for the night. Leah was going to sleep on the couch and Seth was getting the floor, poor kid.

"Good night Edward." Charlie gives him a pointed look.

"Oh, yeah, I better get going." Edward says as Charlie smiles. I wait until he and Sue disappear before pulling Edward into the kitchen.

"You aren't going anywhere."

"I don't feel right about spending the night with you when you're dad made it pretty clear how he feels about pre-marital sex." I made a mental note to delve more into Charlie's inquisition later on.

"He's so full of shit."

"His views are different then ours but he's your father and I'm going to respect that."

"Mom was four months pregnant with me before they got married, and trust me, he and Sue certainly didn't wait." I shudder remembering a time when I went home for a surprise visit.

"Regardless, he's"

"He's giving you a bad time, and quite frankly I don't fucking care what he says. You're my husband and I'm not spending the night without you."

"I may be your husband but he doesn't know that." Just then the floor creaked. Of course, of fucking course, I thought as I closed my eyes tightly. I released my breath when I heard the voice of our eavesdropper.

"Congratulations bro." Seth says holding out his fist. _Bro?_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"You'll never guess what I found." Alice exclaimed. All of us are currently sitting in my living room drinking beer and waiting for the pizza to arrive. From behind her back she pulls out two scrapbooks. I haven't seen them in years but I recognize them immediately. Mine is rather thin and covered in silver contact type paper which is peeling back at the corners while Alice's is still looking like it's in pretty good shape covered in hundreds of pictures of flowers that had been cut out of wedding magazines.

"Where did you find those?" I leaned forward to take them from Alice's outstretched hands.

"Actually my mom found them and brought them up last weekend." We had made them when we were about thirteen, our very own makeshift wedding planners. I scooted over so that Rose, Esme, and Alice could fit on the couch so they could see better.

"Where was that picture taken?" Rose asked.

"It's a meadow in Forks that Alice and I discovered when we were teenagers." I'll never forget that day. We were completely lost and stumbled across it, though we never told our parents that. Charlie would have had a heart attack.

"It's beautiful, is that where you wanted your wedding to be?"

"Let me see." Edward came around the back of the couch and looked over my shoulder.

"Is that a possible venue?" Esme was getting excited.

"Probably not, it's about a five mile hike and with the snow it would be really difficult to get to."

"Snow?"

"Yeah, it'll start snowing up that way soon and last until the spring."

"So you're thinking a winter wedding?" Yeah she's very excited and I'm glad we made the decision we did.

"We would actually like it to be as soon as possible." Edward weighed in.

"That's not a lot of time Bella; it's the end of October. You're going to need more time to find a place to have it and the reception. Most places are booked pretty far in advance."

"True, but it isn't going to be a big affair. The only people outside the ones in this room would be my parents, Angela and Ben and whoever Edward wanted." I was going to say Edward's parents but realized he probably wouldn't invite them.

"What about our house!" We all looked over to Esme. She started going on and on about ideas to convert their back yard with tents and heaters and a dance floor and really it sounded perfect. We talked about the wedding, drank beer, ate pizza and watched a scary movie. Well, two actually. It was the weekend and the vote was tied between Halloween and The Others, so we decided on both.

After the second movie was over I went to the kitchen to pack up the leftovers when I heard someone come into the kitchen. I turned to see Jasper looking all secretive and wondered what he was up to.

"Hey Bella, can I talk to you?" He motioned with his head towards the back door. He looked nervous.

"Sure." I said following him outside. "What's up?"


	17. Chapter 16

**The story of Jasper actually happened with a friend of a friend's cousin. It might seem a little strange but, I think he got the idea off of some story he heard on the news, so anyway…**

Chapter 16

"I don't know…."

"Oh come on! It's a great idea." Jasper is smiling enthusiastically. Practically jumping and down. Well, he is sort of; he's rolling up onto the balls of his feet addding a couple of bounces before rolling back again hoping to get my approval.

"I'm not saying that it's not…..but."

"No, no buts Bella. This is going to be great but I can't pull it off without your help. I need your help; you have to do this…please."

"Jasper, I think it's sweet that you want to do this and some woman would appreciate the effort you're obviously putting into it, but this is Alice we're talking about. I'm pretty sure she has very exact specifications. Exact Jasper! You saw the scrapbook teenage Alice made, imagine what today's Alice would be like."

"And you saw how hurt and disappointed she was in Vegas. She was crushed and I felt horrible. I want to do something really special for her and this is the way I want to do it." He said and I let out a deep breath.

"I understand that but I just don't see how it's possible." I say not trying to burst his bubble but really it would be a pretty big feat.

"It's possible. Look I've already put a lot of thought into this, and I've paid attention, she let a few things slip here and there. There's a lot that I already know. I just need some help with the few things that I don't."

"Oh, Jasper." I started to say but I stopped talking when I saw the sheer look of desperation on his face. He meant business.

"Okay, I was really hoping that it wouldn't come to this but I need to make it happen. And I will do whatever it takes Bella…..Whatever it takes!" His eyes were crazed. I thought he was going to break out into some sort of madman cackle any moment.

"You help me, and I won't tell anyone about your secret." The fuck?

"I don't have any secrets." I bluffed. Besides it's not like he could really know. I mean not really. He's never even met Seth or Jacob and I know I haven't said anything else that could be misconstrued, I've been extra careful since those other blunders.

"Oh that's where you're wrong, I know all about you and Edward." He said quietly slinking back slightly which I found extremely strange given his aggressive behavior seconds before. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Could Edward have told him? No, I just don't see it. Even if he had said something accidently he would have owned up to it later, so that means Jasper must be talking about something else. There's just no way he could know, I mean we were extremely careful.

_It was our last official day in Vegas. We're leaving pretty early in the morning so we could get back at a semi reasonable hour. Luckily Emmett didn't have any big plans for the day so it was pretty laid back. __Jasper didn't join us; according to Alice he was puking most of the night and could barely get his eyes open this morning. She's checked on him a couple of times to make sure he was still alive though by the sounds of it I bet he wishes he wasn't._

_We …the functioning five… had one last buffet style dinner and headed to the pool. I spread mine and Edward's towels out on two of the lounge chairs and slipped off my flip-flops. Emmett headed over to the outdoor shower shivering at what I'm assuming is ice cold water. __Rosalie eyed him strangely before he pointed up at the sign. 'All persons must take a cleansing shower before entering the pool.' He gave us a look that said we were nuts for wondering._

_We returned the look, as we walked over to the edge of the pool sticking a foot in to test the temperature. Perfect, or at least better than that cold cleansing shower would be. __Rosalie and Emmett bailed early. Not that I blamed them or anything. Really I was glad to see them go. They were all over each other, giggling and kissing and all that other pda that you want to look away from but somehow it keeps ending up in your line of sight._

_I wonder if they will count this as a honeymoon or if they will have some sort of reception for friends and family when we get back. Alice, Edward and I stayed a bit longer not wanting to get out of the hot tub quite yet and make the cold trek back to the room. __And about a half an hour later Alice announced she was going back to get some sleep since she and Jasper drew the short straw and were driving the first shift. Edward and I stayed until a couple large groups of people joined us._

_I got to sit next to the guy that leans back and spreads his arms wide out to either side. He kept smacking my shoulder accidently - or at least I hope it was - whenever he spoke. Yeah, it was time to leave. We__ headed back to our room. I didn't even realize that I was so lost in my head but suddenly we were at the door and he was holding it open for me. I think he may have said something. _

"_Huh?"_

"_I asked if you were okay."_

"_I'm fine, just lost in my thoughts a bit."_

"_What were you thinking about?" _

"_Nothing really." I answered automatically but that wasn't exactly true. I was thinking about Rose and Emmett… The McCarty's. I bet that's what people will call them now._

"_You're sure?"_

"_Nothing much, just thinking about Rosalie and Emmett."_

"_The McCarty's." He says. See what I mean? It's like we share a brain sometimes, I swear. I decided to pack tonight knowing I'd be too tired in the morning. Of course it was a lot harder getting everything back in the suitcases since we had bought some stuff. I spent forever trying to make everything fit, finally sitting on top of it while Edward managed to get it zipped._

"_This has been an amazing trip. Thank you." Edward says._

"_No need to thank me, and I'm pretty sure it was you that made it amazing. Besides, it was all Emmett's idea." I briefly wondered how much detail he planned out. Specifically about getting married here._

"_Do you think he planned it?" _

"_Uh….Yeah."_

"_Really?" _

"_Of course."_

"_Did he tell you guys about it beforehand?"_

"_Well yeah, we talked about it."_

"_You did?"_

"_Uh huh."_

"_And you didn't tell me?"_

"_I didn't think I needed to, considering you were there too."_

'_No I wasn't."_

"_We all were, it was beer and pizza night and he brought out his trip planner." He looked at me with a slight concern._

"_I meant about them getting married." I explained with a sigh._

"_Oh, why didn't you say so?"_

"_I did." In my head….. So much for our shared brain theory._

"_I'm a little slow tonight, next time you might have to say it out loud." He kissed my hair._

"_I'm happy for them." And I am, but damn it I want to be married too._

"_I want to be married too." I said audibly since apparently he needed the words._

"_And we will be."_

"_But I don't want to wait." I said, slowly sitting up. Suddenly he was in front of me. Knees on either sides of my legs, his penis dangling between his. Now that's a sight I don't see often. __The soft penis is really an odd looking thing. I, of course realize it can't be hard all the time but I've never really examined it in this state before. It's sort of….. I don't know, weird. Suddenly his hands were on either side of my face tilting my head up to meet his gaze._

"_Are you saying that…" and he paused not finishing the sentence in case he was wrong._

"_That I want to get married now and we can just keep it a secret until we can have a wedding back home." I quote him from the night before._

"_Are you sure?" His eyes danced between mine._

"_Yes, but only if it's what you want too."_

"_It's what I want too." he answered suddenly jumping off the bed searching for something to put on. __We had nothing but the traveling clothes I had laid out for us for the morning. He had a dark blue t-shirt and some grey sweats and I had my black yoga pants and his old college sweatshirt He started getting dressed. I eyed the suitcase. Do I dare?  
_

"_No, it took twenty five minutes to get that thing closed." He's now pulling the shirt on and holding my clothes out to me with such a breathtaking smile that I just take what he's offering and put them on. __I spy a glance in the mirror and gasp in horror when I see my hair. I knew I should have just taken the time to blow dry it. It looks like a fucking haystack. I look around for a hair tie at the least._

_Do you think I could find one? I'm sure you already know the answer but I do see the traveling hats sitting on top of the desk. Edward opens the door and sticks his head out peering side to side. _

"_All clear." We rush out and I'm giggling as he drags me out into the hall and to the elevator. He pushes the down button continuously until the doors open in front of us. We step inside and with the bright lights lighting up this mirror I really see how terrible I look. No make up either. I groan._

"_You're beautiful." There's a ding and the door opens up into the lobby. We pass by the jewelers and buy just the wedding bands. Apparently he already has my engagement ring at home._

"_Can I help you?"_

"_We'd like to get married." Edward is practically shouting._

"_Okay, you just need to fill this out." The worker smiles as she looks us over._

"_We have the option of getting married by Elvis?" I read the part at the bottom._

"_Oh I'm sorry, Elvis isn't in tonight but he'll be available tomorrow if you'd prefer to wait."_

"_No, that's okay; we want to be married tonight." We assure her._

"_Okay Mr." She looks at the paper in her hand. "Cullen come with me." A minute later she returns with to the back with me cues me when the music starts playing. I see Edward standing at the end of the isle looking like his face might split in two and I know that this is absolutely perfect. __The isle is short and the ceremony is shorter, but I'm sure that's so they can get as many people in and out of here as fast as they can. We are pronounced husband and wife and then a handful of rice is tossed in the air above our heads._

"I had woken up hungry and so I slipped out while Alice was asleep. I went downstairs to get a bite and saw you two duck into the chapel. At first I wasn't one hundred percent sure but then I noticed the traveling hats." Jasper smiles while shaking his head.

"Did you, I mean you haven't told anyone else?" I'm sure they don't know because I would have heard about it by now but I can't help but ask anyway.

"No, honestly I don't want Alice to find out. At least not until after we're married. I think that would only make her feel worse." He says and lets out a breath before continuing.

"Alright, look. I'm not really going tell anyone Bella but I need this. Please." Call me a sucker or a masochist but I agree.

"Okay, I'm in."

"Thank you." He's hugging me tightly now and Rose clears her throat standing in the doorway.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"You said we'd do what?" Rose's eyebrows are at her hairline.

"I know, I know. Personally I think it might blow up in his face but I couldn't say no."

"She's gonna want to plan it herself."

"I told him that but he said, and I quote _She will be, she just won't know it_."

"Well shit, we've got our work cut out for us."

"Yeah."

"But they're not even engaged." She pipes up as if she just remembered.

"I know. He's gonna propose and then spring it on her. They'll get engaged and get married on the same day."

"So a Vegas style wedding with all the hoopla that she'd want. Maybe Jasper is on to something after all." Rose smiles and stares off in space. Maybe she's right. I started feeling a little bit better about the whole thing. With the added bonus that there won't be any potential bridezilla moments. Yeah Jasper might be on to something after all.

"All I know for sure is that our part will just be to find out as many details as we can about what she wants under the guise of planning my wedding."

"Well then, operation surprise wedding is a go." She says holding her hand up in the air waiting for me to join in the high five. I shake my head before we clap our hands together.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Squeeeeeee." No, that's not the sound of my mother squealing she actually said the word like that.

"Mom."

"I can't believe you're getting married!"

"Mom."

"So, December 15th?"

"Yep."

"That's soon, like just over a month away."

"I know." She suddenly gasps deeply sounding like she'd been punched in the gut or something. I cringe and pull the phone back when she starts to yell. "You're pregnant!"

"No, mom. I'm not pregnant." I roll my eyes. Like that could be the only reason for getting married in a hurry. Well maybe to Renee it is but then again she hasn't met Edward.

"I'm still getting an invitation right?"

"It's in the mail."

"So where's it going to be? Ooooh I know, you could get married in the same church your father and I got married in."

"That's just…no. Besides we already have a place. It's going to be at Carlisle and Esme's."

"Speak of the devil." I hear Edward say while standing up to answer the door.

"The in-laws."

"Not quite."

"Hey Esme." I say as Edward takes the things from her arms.

"Hey Bella. I can't stay but I just wanted to drop." She stops mid sentence noticing I'm on the phone.

"Sorry." She mouths.

"It's fine."

"Esme? Edward's mother?" Renee asks.

"Esme is Edward's aunt." I explain even though I thought at some point I already had. But Renee's flighty and I'm forgetful so it could go wither way.

"Let me talk to her." I'm already shaking my head before I tell her no.

"Why not, just put her on."

"Mom, she's busy and doesn't have time to talk to you."

"I don't mind." Esme says smiling, I sigh knowing Renee heard.

"See? Put her on." I rub my fingers across my forehead still feeling the slight bump that I'm certain will never completely go away as I hand her my phone.

"Hello?" She says before walking over to the couch. I can hear Renee's voice but can't make out the words. I sure miss the day of landlines when it was much easier to just silently pick up the other extension to listen in.

"What's got you so worried?" Edward chuckles at my expression.

"I've just got a bad feeling, Renee's pushy and Esme's nice."

"It'll be fine." Yeah, he says that now. I turn my head to the sound of Esme's loud laughter. I mostly hear a lot of 'yeah' and 'uh-huh' but it's the 'we'd love to' and the 'of course we don't mind' part that worries me. Finally she hangs up.

"You're mother is a kick in the head." She says while still laughing. I'm not sure if she means that in a good or bad way but let's face it, when is a kick to the head ever good?

"Sorry about that."

"Don't be sorry! I'm really looking forward to meeting her." I guess that was inevitable.

"She and... Phil is it?" I nod.

"Will be coming a few days early. She thought it would be fun for all the parents to have a get to know you dinner."

Good Lord

"And I know just what to make."


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"Can you zip me up?" I say as I peer over my shoulder. I've found it. The dress I want. And Alice says there was no way I'd find anything in the close-out section. Not verbally answering my question, Rosalie walks over from the nearly three hundred and sixty degree mirror she was standing in front of. She is currently trying on a dress that I would only peg Cinderella wearing and not at all something I would have thought she'd try on.

I'm not sure if it's because she's just playing it up to get Alice to also try some on, or if perhaps she would have actually selected that type of dress to get married in. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful but just doesn't seem right on her.

"That's as far as it will go Bell." I frown when I see that there is at least another five inches of dress that needs to come together. I glance up at Rose as she tries again.

"Suck it in." She says and I take a deep breath. I feel it zip up slightly but there is no way she got it up all the way. I peer over my shoulder again not daring to let out my breath just yet. I see that the top is clasped but there is still a wide gap that I don't think any amount of breath holding will fix. Disappointed I blow out all the air in my lungs feeling the zipper slide back down.

"I'll see if they have it in a bigger size."

"I already checked. It's a close-out it's the only one in that style left." I whisper because I can already hear the 'I told you so' from Alice. But instead I turn and we both see her standing in front of the mirror a few feet away looking breathtaking as Esme snaps a picture of her. I swear the brilliance of that woman; she's in on Jasper's secret too of course. I shake my head. Too many secrets and too many people know about them, something is bound to end badly.

"So, five pounds?" I ask while I look back at my reflection. I glance up at Rose when I'm answered in silence for the second time. She starts pulling on the zipper again.

"I was thinking closer to ten."

"Ten!" Not at all what I wanted to hear.

"Maybe fifteen." She says and I groan earning a side eye from Esme. Not that it was a horrible amount to lose but I have been known for not being a good dieter. I suck at it really. My will power is shit.

"Well it could be less if you wore your spanx." Alice chimed in walking over to us while twirling around a bit. Yep that's the one. Esme is furiously texting, to Jasper no doubt.

"I am not wearing spanx on my wedding day."

"I know you have a pair." She said completely ignoring me.

"Two actually." Rosalie corrects. I give her the evil eye. It was a two for one deal, not to be passed by.

"Not gonna happen. I'll just make sure I fit into the dress without them." I refuse to wear tummy tucker or any other body shaping undergarments when I know Edward will be all handsy.

He gets that way when he drinks. More specifically, he gets that way in public settings when he drinks and lord knows Esme ordered enough champagne that each guest will have their own bottle as a take home souvenir. I buy the dress all the while knowing failure to lose the weight and/or spanx wearing is not an option. I mean, it only takes one time to say _never_ again. Thinking back to one of the most humiliating nights of my life I shake my head.

It was right after my parents divorce and I was in my first year of college. I tend to be somewhat of an emotional eater and I managed to eat my way out of most of the clothes I owned. Darwin Flexner was his name. He was my lab partner and I had a huge crush on him. It took quite a bit of effort on my part but he finally seemed to catch on and he asked me out.

The dress I wanted to wear just looked better with things 'tucked in' so to speak. Quite frankly anything I would have worn would have looked better that way, and besides I really didn't think we'd be getting very far physically because it was our first date – and last, unbeknownst to me at the time—after all.

And you know there are self implemented insurance polices to make sure we don't lose our self control and give in to temptation. Like…not shaving, wearing gramma panties, or in my case, body shapers. Those things ensure we stop at appropriate times. No one wants to be caught in that situation so you just make sure it doesn't happen.

Plus I was raised by the safe sex guru himself. Somewhere along the way his many many many talks of taking things slowly with guys was always screaming in the back of my head. No sex or anything close to it for the foreseeable future, so of course I didn't think my undergarments would be an issue. But of course karma stepped in and I got screwed over. Like the commercial said 'They're so comfortable you forget you have them on.' Okay, I didn't really _forget_ forget but I may have underestimated how far down my thighs they went.

Anyway things started to get a heated before realization hit me, Darwin's hand made it up a little farther than it should have and our make out session stopped abruptly. He actually had the nerve to snap them against my leg before laughing his ass off. I never saw him again, that is after I dropped the class. Needless to say I started my diet the very next day.

XOXOXOXOXO

"You didn't expect to lose it all right away did you?" Alice is in the bathroom with me as I'm standing on the scale.

"No, but I sure as hell expected better than this!" Fuck. One pound. One lousy stupid piece of fucking shit pound. In over a week. At this rate I won't make it.

"Bella, you really don't want to lose more than, say two pounds a week anyway."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do and it wasn't even two pounds, it was one."

"You have to be smart about this. It's not healthy to lose too much too fast."

"Hey, I watch the biggest loser and they manage just fine with more than two pounds a week." I love that show, I'd want Bob as my trainer. Jillian scares me, and I'm fairly sure she'd have no trouble making me cry.

"Yeah and they're supervised by professionals and don't sneak food when they aren't supposed to."

"I don't…."

"Oh please, don't even try to deny it." I won't, she's right. I let out a big sigh.

"I don't know if I can do it Al. I crave things that I normally wouldn't even want. It's like I have no control, none!"

"Maybe Edward can help; ask him to do it with you."

"Yeah, he already offered and after the first four days I could pull his jeans down without even having to unbutton them. It's not fair. He's the epitome of self control and I'm the exact opposite." Feeling hungry and grouchy I ignored Alice's comment on Jasper having the worst self control of anyone she's ever known and I got dressed and headed to the store for some grocery shopping.

Good choices, I'm just going to make good choices. I don't have to starve myself I just need to eat better and exercise a tad more. I decide to not tempt myself and just skip the whole side of the store that has junk food and make a quick left and end up in front of the diet pills.

I briefly consider it but after reading the fine print on the bottle I huff and put it back. It said…. get this….. It said _works with diet and exercise_. If I could master those two things I wouldn't need the damn pills. I go down the next isle and something catches my eye. I feel like I've just solved the world's problems or more realistically mine and Carlisle's at the very least.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Oh Bella, this is such a good idea." Esme gushes and I figuratively pat myself on the back.

"Thank you so much for doing this with me, it will really help me out. I need someone to keep me on track."

"I'd do anything to help, where should we start?" She asks, excitement clear in her voice before opening the new healthy eating cook book that I bought for us. I hear the front door open and close and don't try to stop the smile that breaks out across my face. Good lord I love that man.

"Hey beautiful." Edward calls out and I can hear him flipping off his shoes as one hits the wall and the sound of his briefcase landing on the table.

"Something smells." He says as he walks into the kitchen and I kiss him before he can finish his sentence. Or maybe he already had, this was Esme's and my first attempt at cooking together so…..

"Edward." She is always so happy to see him.

"Hey Esme." He leans over and kisses her cheek.

"You two are making dinner?" His tone questioning and slightly nervous.

"Bella just bought this new cookbook for us." He grabs the book and looks at it briefly.

"Healthy eating." His tone is crestfallen, maybe not so much for the healthy eating but I'm sure he's is questioning my sanity for inviting his aunts lack of cooking skills into our home when lord knows we get enough of that in hers. But dammit, this is the only way.

"It won't kill you to eat a bit healthier." She tells him while adding a cup of broccoli to the pan.

_Yes it will_. He mouths to me when her back is turned.

"Hey, I thought it was beer and pizza night tonight!"

"Yeah, um, about that."

"Oh no Bella, you're taking away beer and pizza?"

"It's just until after the wedding."

"But why?" He knows why but continues on. "Because I really think you've lost quite a bit already."

"One pound."

"Are you sure, because it looks like a lot more than that." He's so full of shit.

"You're so full of shit."

"Don't worry Edward, we're still getting together to eat but it will really help Bella if we're not all eating pizza in front of her." She has her spatula pointed at him with her eyebrow raised.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now I will admit that it took a few tries to get it right but we've been eating together with Carlisle and Esme almost every night for weeks now. Esme and I cook the meal together. I stay on my diet; she learns some new recipes that with little tweaks we (mostly me) approves of, have turned out really well. Which makes everyone happy, Carlisle especially.

"Bella I could kiss you." He says as he does just that. I quick peck on the cheek before Edward speaks up.

"Hey, go kiss your own wife." It takes a second before what Edward said sinks in and he flashes his now wide eyes to meet mine. Carlisle's eyebrows are raised and he chuckles.

"Aren't you jumping the gun a bit?" Edward blinks at him a couple of times before clearing his throat to speak as Esme walks into the room with our to-go bag. The conversation is dropped and no further explanation is issued. Bullet dodged.

"Come to bed." Edward whispers in the ear that is not connected to the phone. I lean up to kiss him and make my way under the covers as I listen to my messages I'd missed earlier. Two from mom and two from dad.

Ever since that three way call I made the mistake of suggesting, it all went to hell. I honestly thought that they had parted on somewhat decent terms. At least that was how it was presented to me at the time but after listening to them bitch at each other I wasn't sure at all. Apparently there was some sort of wedding fund that was set aside. Who knew? Especially since it was not brought up when I was engaged to Tyler. I'm not sure what to make of that but, either way I was struck dumb as I listened to their pissing match.

"_Well Bella, the whole wedding fund was my idea."_

"_It may have been Renee's idea but I was the one that contributed the most."_

"_We were married at the time so that money would have been from both of us equally."_

"_I've added to it since our divorce."_

"_So have I!"_

It went on and on and all this without even having seen each other in years. Not a good sign. No not a good sign at all.

"I miss your ass." Edward mumbles against my neck as he squeezes said ass as if to emphasize his point.

"You…. _miss_ my _ass_." I had to be sure I heard him correctly.

"Mmm hmm."

"What you're saying makes no sense." It didn't. My ass is huge, always has been, always will be.

"How can you possibly miss something this big?" I give it a smack and I swear his eyes went all lusty.

"It's practically dwindled down to nothing." He says and I snort. It's no where near nothing. It was the very last thing I lost and will be the very first thing I gain back.

"Edward, it could be considered another continent. Europe, North America, Africa, Bella's ass."

"Then that's where I'd want to live."

"You're a dork."

"And you still love me."

"I do love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm happy to hear that Mr. Cullen."

"I'm happy to say it Mrs. Cullen."

"Mrs. Cullen." I repeat "I can't wait for it to be out in the open."

"You mean more than it already is?"

"Do you think Carlisle knows? He did have that knowing look in his eye."

"Nah, he would have said something."

"Not with Esme standing there."

"No, but he would have called me on it later." He says. Good point and quite frankly I'm done worrying about it. The wedding is in a few days and that's what's important to me right now. Becoming Mrs. Cullen _again_ and then of course the honeymoon.

"So you're really not going to tell me where we're going on our honeymoon? One less secret you'd have to worry about." I've been trying forever to get him to give me any sort of clue.

"Nope, it's a surprise." He said as he has said for weeks. I huffed and turned over and set my alarm clock as Edward pulled me to him so my back was against his chest. His arms wrapped around me and I started thinking of all the possible places he could have picked.

We had a list a mile long of the places we wanted to see one day. Really he could have just thrown a dart at a map and surely it would land on someplace we want to go. I hadn't gotten very far when he started rubbing himself up against me. Mmmmm. The covers shift as he pulls down his boxers. He tosses them over my head and they land somewhere on the floor before he starts in with the rubbing again.

I admit that I love it from behind, but he seems to be veering slightly off course, and is coming awfully close to…..Wait a minute. Was all this ass talk from earlier supposed to be a hint? Does Edward want some, you know…anal action? I feel myself clench automatically. We're usually pretty good at figuring things out between us without much conversation but this might be a little bit different.

Shouldn't this sort of thing demand verbal communication? Well, on the other hand even though I can talk to him about anything I might have a little trouble with 'Hey honey, I know you like grabbing my ass and all but is there something new you want to try?' I guess it could be that simple but I'm not entirely sure I'd be up for that. It just seems like it would be pretty painful. And there's no point in me asking when I'm not really sure how I feel about the matter. Just as a precaution, I flip over quickly.

"I'd say all guys, at the very least, fantasize about it." Rosalie said taking another bite of her salad.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, men always want sex."

"But do all men want anal sex?" I whisper as the waiter walks by. I think he may have heard me because he drops the pitcher he was carrying causing water to splash everywhere. His face was beet red as he apologized, quickly cleaned up and scurried away. After he's gone I look back to the ladies sitting across from me.

"Ben doesn't. He's pretty conservative when it comes to sex. It's rare he will stray far from military. It took me forever to convince him to let me be on top. I think if I brought up anal he'd have a heart attack." I'm beginning to think this wasn't a conversation I really want to have with the accompanying visuals I was getting.

"Emmett asked but I told him no way." Rosalie said and took a drink before continuing. "He'd rip me apart."

"Jasper likes a little ass play." Alice says and Angela's eyebrows rise in intrigue.

"Oh?"

"Yeah it adds a little spice to the standard blow job."

"But does he do it to you?" I ask. That's the question I want answered.

"Yeah we've done that too." Honestly she's the last person I would have thought would be doing that. I'm not sure why I'm so surprised but I am. I take a deep breath and release it. Visuals be dammed, she's all I have right now so I soldier on.

"Does it hurt?"

"It's not so bad."

"Huh." Angela looks jealous.

"How did it all come about? I mean did you or Jasper bring it up?"

"It started out as my idea with him. I read somewhere that some men really get off on that so I thought it wouldn't hurt to try." I internally laugh at her choice of words.

"And he liked it?" Rose asks.

"Yeah, he was receptive and so I guess we just moved on from there."

"How bad is not so bad?" I redirect.

"I don't know, the first time was a five maybe?"

"Just a five?" I'm skeptical; it just seems to me the pain scale would have to be higher.

"It's really not a big deal." She tries to reassure me.

"It'd be a big deal if it were Emmett."

"Jasper's plenty big; huge really." When she holds up her fingers at least nine inches apart I mentally checked out of the conversation. By the time lunch is over I know far more than I ever wanted to know about my friends. I've been evited to Alice's co-workers passion party. And am no closer to a decision about me and Edward. I should have just talked to him in the first place. I roll my eyes at myself. At least I had the foresight to not have Esme present.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Bella, wake up." I barely heard the semi-whispered words Edward had muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Sweetie, it's time to get up."

"Time is it?"

"6:30."

"Too early."

"I have that meeting this morning remember?"

"Mmm Hmm."

"Baby wake up."

"Five more minutes."

"I thought you wanted to get up early." I do remember saying something like that last night but that was before I realized how tired I would be this morning.

"Changed my mind."

"Okay, I'm gonna take a shower."

"Mmkay."

"Bella." I hear two seconds later.

"Go shower."

"I already did."

"Oh."

"I have to go."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Do you want me to set the alarm for later?"

"No, I'm getting up." I open one eye as I sit up to give him a kiss goodbye.

"There's my girl." He kisses me. "Don't go back to sleep."

"I won't."

I heard the constant ringing but no matter where I searched I could not find the source. It was very frustrating. Where the hell am I anyway? I looked around the unfamiliar area not recognizing a thing.

The shrill sound started getting louder and with a sudden jolt my eyes pop open and I sit up. Shit. I look over to the clock and see that I'm supposed to be at work in no less than 12 minutes. Fucking hell. I grab the first thing I see out of the closet, brush my teeth, throw my hair up and spray some perfume and hope that's good enough.

This is so not the day to be running late. I have far too much to do today. Why the hell didn't I get up when I should have? I rush into the building and make a dash for my office. I finish the last of bit of work I had to do and drop off the finished files with my boss exactly two minutes before he needed them.

"Here you go Steve." I'm breathing heavily after running down the hall to his office.

"Thanks Bella. Congratulations on your wedding and we'll see you back here on the 26th." He says as he flips through the folder I just gave him only glancing up when he's finished speaking giving me a small smile with a nod before turning in his chair while reaching for his phone. I take that as my dismissal and close his door behind me as I make my way back to my office. As I'm shutting my computer down and locking up my filing cabinet I hear a knock on my door.

"Hey Bella." Jake's somewhat somber voice has me cringing before I look up at him.

"Hi Jake."

"You taking off?" He nods at my purse and coat sitting on the desk before looking at his watch.

"Yeah… yep." I nod as I'm speaking.

"Getting ready for the big day?"

"Uh-huh."

"You know, I kinda thought I'd be invited." His face is blank, not betraying any emotion.

"You…Seriously?"

"I'm kidding Bella." He laughs like it's a totally normal thing to say.

"Oh." And _I_ laugh uncomfortably. He frowns.

"Oh come on, it's not like I had announced my plan to stop the wedding or anything." I swear his eye just twitched.

"Besides, I thought this one was just for show. The knot is already tied….. right?" The way he said it had me questioning if he really would have tried to stop the wedding if Edward and I hadn't already been legally married. I stare for a minute and decide that he couldn't be that crazy. But I think my answer to his question would be the same whether it was true or not.

"Yes, Edward and I are already married." I say and he nods his head, lips somewhat pursed, his eyes unfocused for a minute.

"Right." He says as he claps his hands together once, making me jump. "Well congratulations then. I'll see you when you get back."

"Um, thanks Jake." I smile through my discomfort and high tail it out of there. The rest of the afternoon is full of wedding errands that go pretty smoothly for the most part and I can almost take a breath. Currently I'm trying to find a place to park anywhere even remotely close to Esme and Carlisle's house. There's a big white van in the driveway. Two smaller ones parked in front of the house. Esme's car is parked next door as well as Edward's.

I end up around the corner, half a block away and do my best not to drop the garment bag that holds my dress as I make my way through the obstacle course in the front yard. The tent is going up and I can hear Esme barking orders to some unfortunate worker who apparently had the gall to set up the buffet table on the wrong side. Deciding to avoid the traffic jam of employees coming and going from the back I head for the front door, trying to hit the doorbell with my hip.

"Edward!" Ten seconds later he opens the door just in time to take the all too heavy bag from my arms as I drop the shoes in the entry way. I barely get a kiss before my phone starts ringing. I sigh; this thing has been going off non stop today.

"Hey dad."

"Bells, it's dad."

"Yeah, dad… what's up?"

"Listen, we're coming in a little early. Shouldn't be more than an hour."

"Oh wow, you are early. That's okay I left the key under the….shit I forgot to leave it in my rush to get out of there."

"What's that? You're cutting out."

"Someone will be there to let you guys in." I say and look up at Edward who nods.

"You're not home?"

"Not right now, we're still trying to get things pulled together for the wedding."

"So you're pretty busy then?"

"Well, yeah, I had to work this morning for a bit and have been going non stop since but things are getting under control but I have to pick up mom at the airport soon."

"Oh well I was sorta hoping we could spend a little time together, just you and me. You know one last father and daughter thing before your married." I hear a loud snort and a faint_ Seth your such an idiot _followed by a_ that's enough Leah._

"Uh, sure. That's….sweet dad. I'll uh, see you soon." I'm torn between being touched and pissed off. He really needed to wait until right before I was getting married to want to spend some quality time? But I guess he's making the effort. Although not a very big one.

"What's sweet?" I look up when I hear Edward's voice.

"Nothing really. Charlie wants to spend some 'quality' time together before the wedding." I use finger quotes and roll my eyes. I guess being pissed off is winning out.

"Ah. Why don't I pick up Renee and Phil from the airport then?"

"I'm not sure you fully understand the ramifications of your offer."

"I'll be fine. I'm sure she isn't that bad and she is by far less intimidating than Charlie."

"But Renee is her own brand of crazy." He smiles indulgently and tucks some hair behind my ear.

"I'm up for the challenge. And with any luck she'll reveal some embarrassing stories on the ride back." I'm about to interject but he stops me before I can.

"Consider it payback for Esme's stunt with the pictures…..And the condoms." He shakes his head. _There's no forgetting about the condoms_ he mutters.

**A/N **

**Story Recs : Here are some wips:**

**Identity  
**

**Summary: The Witness Protection Program is the next step for Edward and his  
family after his mother is murdered by Billy Black. A relocation to Forks, WA  
is supposed to keep them safe, but does it? Can anything give them a reason  
to truly live again? /s/6001131**

**The Girl Can't Dance**

**"I want to date you. Marry you, have chubby babies, and dance together like no one is watching." Dance? That's right up Bella Swan's alley. But poor Edward Cullen has no idea the girl of his dreams has two left feet. Unfortunately for the public, neither does she. Humor and Love. Rated M. /****s/9479200**


End file.
